Love is Stronger than Pleasure
by All Over the World girl
Summary: There's a woman out there in the world, one for every man, one to show him how to feel, how to love...she was the one for him and he the one for her, but it was one baby girl that changed everything. So here they are, years later...what has changed? What can still change?
1. Chapter 1

He'd been following her for the past 3 years. She held on to her sweet baby, whispering sweet words in its mouth. If he was here and killed her, or even touched her baby with one dirty finger, he would pay… she would kill him with her own hands, no matter how much it cost.

She felt his footsteps and turned around, seeing him. His blue eyes looked at her, his stare was screaming sex. She swallowed. She'd fallen for those eyes more than once, she wouldn't do it again.

"Leave us alone." She screamed, holding her baby. Its little body started shaking with fear at she felt her mother's fear.

"Don't you get it? You can't win! I'll make love to you whenever I want to!" His eyes were smiling, they seemed to be getting larger, or else she was falling for them again… for those beautiful eyes she had looked into, they belonged to the only person she'd ever told "I love you", the only person that had ever made love to her, the only one that had made her feel…needed.

She still ran, though, the fear filling her body. He wasn't a Strigoi, yet he was way more dangerous than that. He was sexy, he was seductive…everything that a woman wanted was there – the romance, the watching a romantic movie, the hot sex on the couch because you got hot and heavy too fast to head to the bedroom… she knew, for she had experienced every single thing, knew how good and orgasm that Christian Ozera gave you felt… she had always imagined the ones he'd given her long after they stopped getting hot and heavy all over the house… long before the big bump on her stomach had gotten visible… long before she'd escaped with her unborn child… _their_ unborn child…

She was afraid, but not of him. She was afraid of what she'd do if she got close to him. Of his reaction if she tried to get it going with him. She hadn't had any sexual pleasure for 2 whole years. For 2 years the only person that had ever been in her bed apart from herself was little Christina, her blue eyes always huge and filled with fear as her little chubby feet took her to her mother's bed, as she climbed underneath the covers and held on to the only person she felt safe with… the only person she had ever called family.

Little Christina held on to her mother, as though she understood that she had to keep quiet even though she was terrified. Her small body shook along with her mother's, and she was crying, leaning against her mother, keeping as quiet as she could, holding her mother's shirt with her tiny fingers, as though that would keep her safer. She must keep quiet, but oh… it was so hard to do it, and in that darkness that made her feel the world was so big, yet she was so small…!

"Rose….darling…you can't run away from me." Rose heard his voice so close to hers, she'd forgotten how fast he could be when he wanted to be – he could catch a woman, undress her and give her the orgasm she'd been dreading yet needing…he could do all of this in less than an hour. And Rose knew that was exactly what would happen if he caught her.

Before she knew it, two guardians had gotten in her way. She took her stake in one hand, but the guardians pushed and her baby against the wall, grabbing the little child, pulling her away from her mother.

"DON'T….TOUCH HER!" screamed Rose. Little Christina...she was everything to her mother…the only thing Rose had left to remind her of the peppery love she'd once had…still did deep into her heart.

"They won't hurt her. They'll just take her somewhere so…you and I can have some quality time together." He walked out from behind one of the buildings, his body still half-hidden by the shadows.

"I won't sleep with you even if you pay me!" she felt the anger fill her up. Who did he think he was a Sex god or something? No way would he use her. Yet…last time she'd felt him inside of her, it had felt good.

"I never asked for your permission did I?" Christian clapped his hands together once, and the guardians quickly left, taking wide-eyed Christina with them. Seeing his former lover's shock, Christian laughed quietly. "I'm not saying I'll rape you darling…but by the time I've made you all horny you'll beg me to keep on going…and I won't stop…just like I didn't last time…"

"Is that what it is?" her eyes were filled with tears. They were alone in the darkness and even after all that time she couldn't help but think that there was certainly some sexiness in this situation. "You fuck me and fuck me and fuck me until you satisfy me and then you leave me pregnant with a second child and all by myself?"

"Yes to the fucking, probably yes to leaving you pregnant, but…no to the leaving you part. That is…unless you decide to play the wild panther again, running away with my own child. Did you think you could just take her and take care of her, not telling her a thing about her father? _I_ would have taken better care of her, Rosemarie." He raised his left hand and ran the tips of his fingers across her cheeks. She shivered even though she never meant to. His touch…it was barely anything, but damn it felt good!

"What do you want then? Her? I won't give her to you. She already loves me; she'll never manage without me."

"I don't want just her, you silly girl! I want _both of you_. I love you!" He whispered the last sentence and stepped forward, pressing her against a dirty wall.

He slowly placed his hands on her hips and pushed them close to his body, letting her feel how hard he really was.

"No…" she moaned, her lips parting. She wanted to tell him go get his fucking hands away from her, but her own body betrayed her…she shivered as he rubbed his body against her, while she remembered all the times spent in his bedroom…it had felt so good…

He slowly raised his hands, pulling them underneath her shirt. Touching the edge of her bra, he went down again, to her stomach, letting his hands slide up and down slowly. Her body shivered once more and her lips parted again to let out a moan that had escaped from their unwilling mistress.

He couldn't help but moan as well as he pressed himself closer to her. No matter how much he wanted to play with her, he _did_ want her…he _loved_ her.

"I love you…" he moaned as he felt his erection getting bigger the faster he started rubbing against her.

"No…you…OH!" She couldn't control herself and started moaning, since his hands had slipped underneath her bra, had started teasing her nipples playfully, hardening them. Why was he so good…so sweet, yet so fucking arrogant?

He unbuttoned her jeans quickly and they fell down to her ankles…now all that separated their bodies joining together was her panties and his clothing.

"I want you…so badly…" he moaned as he rubbed harder and squeezed her nipples. She moaned and pulled herself up, wrapping his ankles around his waist.

"Please…" her voice was barely a whisper, she felt like she was ready to let him inside her once more, even if it was in the middle of a street where anyone who passed could see them. "I need you…in me…"

And he was ready to do it, he really was! He pulled his hands away from her nipples and put one of them in between her legs, squeezing her through her panties. She groaned his name into his ear and screamed as he slowly started playing with her clitoris through her panties. Pulling his body away from her so that he could concentrate more, he left his hand on her clitoris and whispered in her ear:

"Are you sure you don't want me to just…."

"Fuck me!" She screamed as her body started vibrating. She was reaching her orgasm. "Please Christian, just fuck me NOW!"

His hand on her clitoris got faster as he unbuttoned her shirt as much as he could. He pulled one of her breasts out of the bra and started sucking on her nipple, his tongue going over the tip, his teeth gently, though hungrily biting it.

She was so close now and she could feel it! Her body hadn't felt better in 2 years now. She was finally getting the orgasm she'd wanted. She pulled her hair back, readying herself for the pleasure when…

He pulled himself away from her. Her breast back in her bra, her jeans were still on the ground but his hand was no longer on her clitoris. He ran his hands through his black hair.

"Fuck, you're hard to resist." His voice sounded almost like a moan. "Yet I have to…if I want to keep you."

He pulled her close to him, rubbed his body against her once more. She felt the heat return to her and smiled in the dark as his lips kissed her neck just barely. She pressed herself closer to him, getting ready for what she truly wanted…had wanted for such a long time…

And he pulled away again.

"You son of a bitch!" she whispered and spat at him, yet he moved too far away.

"How else would I keep you, my darling, unless I have the key to what you want? I have a theory that we both have the same destination – a locked door, to which you need the key, the key which I already have. I can already enter, yet it wouldn't be the same without you…so I have a choice – I can either enter at my own risk by myself or be disappointed, or I can drag you with me until you and I can open the door together. The key, of course, being letting you get all wet and pulling away, ending with a hot animal-like sex in the end…" he didn't finish.

"As for the door?" she asked, already frustrated. "What's behind the door?

"That remains to be seen…you'll find out only if you go back with me…after you go back to Christina as well…" with that he winked at her and quietly let her lose him in the dark.

"Christina…what about my child? Get back here, Christian Ozera! " She started chasing him, but in the dark she could not tell where he'd gone. "Get back here, you bastard!"

She heard him chuckle in the dark and he didn't stop, so she followed the sound…until she found herself right in front of her ex-boyfriend holding her child…_their _child…

**I'm reposting this story, hopefully it will be more famous now. I've started re-writing it and hopefully, more people will enjoy. Please Review whether you liked it or not, you can give me some new ideas, tell me what I need to fix, or pretty much anything will be appreciated! Please note that this is my first fanfiction in a very long time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, this is my first fan fiction for Vampire Academy and first…hmm…story including lemons that describe so much xD so if you'd just leave comments and tell me how I'm doing that would be great. Thanks!**

"Baby, cheer up." She jumped up from her seat immediately as she felt his soft lips brush against her neck. "We're not going to court…I know how you hate being there…"

"Then where are we going, Christian?" Her voice sounded as small as she felt. They had pulled little Christina away from her. When was the last time she and her daughter had been separated? She couldn't remember.

"If I tell you then it wouldn't be a surprise now, would it?" He winked at her and licked his lips, raising his eyebrows then dropping them. Then he pointed to the bathroom and winked.

"Fuck you." She murmured quietly.

"Haven't you already done it multiple times, my darling?"

She kept silent for the next couple minutes, just staring out the little window of the airplane. Pretty much all she saw was clouds. Happy white clouds, so innocent looking…just like her 4 years ago…so innocent looking…until she'd met Christian Ozera.

It had started out in such a weird way. Nothing suspicious. Her best friend Vasilisa Dragomir, or Lissa had met him above the church, in the attic where she always went by herself to collect her thoughts. One thing led to another, and Lissa ended up dating Christian, and, of course, having sex with him. But at the age of 16, her parents had died in a car crash, and so had Lissa…kind of. She'd saved her best friend's life by sacrificing herself for Rose – the "Forbidden Spell", that's what it was called. And so Rose and Lissa had been separated by Death, and just when they were truly starting to bond together…literally.

Rose had thought that Christian would be broken-hearted and, as a good friend had tried to help him. Turns out, he'd never loved Lissa…poor Lissa, who would have given her life for him, just like she did for her best friend…

_She found him standing with his head in his hands, whispering something, words that she could not hear._

"_Chris…Christian?" she whispered quietly, not knowing what to say. Anyways, what she could she say? That she's sorry? Nothing would help, not now._

"_Rose…?" His voice showed surprise, she could tell he hadn't expected her to be here._

_He stood up, looked at her with wide eyes, and then…froze. She wondered what the hell he was looking at. And then she followed his gaze. Damn it, was he staring at…her chest? She looked down immediately, afraid of what she might find. The instant that she realized what had happened, she blushed._

_She'd often been told that she was hot. She had often been told that she was fucking sexy as well. What she had not been told is what Christian told her just now:_

"_You're so…beautiful." His words came out as a moan, like he was just realizing what he'd said. No, like he couldn't believe. Like his testosterone had just kicked in, whispering_

"_Hey, dude! There's a sexy lady right in front of you, yet you're not realizing it?"_

_Christian took a step closer to her and held out his hand, as though he wanted to touch… what? Her breast? Or… just her? Was he just looking for a shoulder to cry on? Most likely…at least, that's what she was hoping for. _

_He took another step, and another…and another, one last one, which brought them close enough. They stared in each others' eyes, blue and brown… and in that moment, she felt herself shiver as he whispered what she should have already known:_

"_I love you…"_

"Rose, you can keep on dreaming about me but the only way I would fuck you is if you woke up and decided to blow me."

And she was suddenly brought back to Earth, or…brought back in the airplane. She had not realized she had fallen asleep, hadn't even felt exhausted at all, not until she woke up and realized that she wanted to go back to sleep. Or maybe that had something to do with the fact that the most annoying person in the world stood right next to her.

"What the hell do you want, you sex machine?" She regretted the words as soon as she'd said them…she didn't actually have proof that he slept with every single girl he met.

"Hey, I flirt a lot, but the fucking part is for those that…have got what it takes." He looked at her. He just looked and looked and looked…and she felt herself drown into those deep ocean-blue eyes for who knows which time…except she didn't feel the pain of the lack of air…she just felt the happiness of being in the water…though mind you, she was starting to feel a bit…claustrophobic…what the hell?

"Sexcuse me." She looked up in time to find a man dressed just like a servant, carrying a covered silver plate.

"I beg your pardon?" She asked, starting to get mad. What the hell was his problem? She hadn't done a thing.

"Don't mind him." said Christian. "This is Alerion, he is my cook and he doesn't speak much English, since he's French."

The boy nodded and the servant left, gently putting the plate on a small table that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

Christian cleared his throat and sighed uncomfortably.

"What?" She raised her eyebrows at him, confused. Those blue eyes looked at her again, hypnotized her…until he looked away. "You have got to stop doing that, man."

"Doing what?" He looked so innocent, it was just like little Christina when she realized she had done something wrong and didn't want to tell her mother. Rose couldn't help but laugh.

"Whatever…what were you going to tell me anyways?"

"Well, um…Alerion isn't one of those people that are great at cooking, so… there's always a little…never mind, I'm sure everything is fine!"

Rose raised her eyebrows, but Christian opened up a newspaper he'd kept in his jacket pocket and started reading it. She noticed that he was watching her with the corner of his eye, his stare filled with curiosity. She opened up the plate, since she was hungry – she hadn't eaten in a while, plus she had fed Christina a couple hours ago. True, her daughter was already 2, but she was still breastfed once in a while.

She froze for a minute, just staring. This surely wasn't a joke. She felt the panic spread through her body. Turning around, she looked at Christian and asked, a little uncertainly:

"What did you say the French dude had cooked?"

"I didn't." answered Christian and Rose felt even more frightened. "But I think I told him to get you a chicken."

She looked down at the plate in front of her. Then she looked back at Christian. And then at the plate again. Well it certainly was a chicken but…

The chicken snorted quietly. It apparently didn't sleep very peacefully.

"The chicken…the chicken…"

"Is perfectly fine. I can assure you, it's a real chicken."

"But…b-but…"

"It probably even tastes…"

"I don't want to fucking know how it tastes! The freaking chicken's alive!"

At the sound of her voice the chicken woke up, pulled up its head and started to crow.

So it wasn't really a chicken, after all. Technically, it was a rooster.

Crap.

She got up and screamed as loud as she could as the rooster got up from the plate and fell on the floor on his butt, which made his… crowing even louder.

"Get me OUT!" she yelled in Christian's ear, making him jump. He took one look at the rooster, and then at his ex.

"What the fuck…?" was all he managed to let out, before it got all weird.

The rooster was obviously crazy, or freakishly scared. Probably the second, but Rose wasn't thinking clearly. Screaming at the top of her lungs she started running all over the plane. The rooster suddenly got excited. There was a moving target right there! So, for some unknown reason, he started chasing that moving target, flapping his wings and crowing as loud as he could.

At the moment nobody really looked at Christian who had stood there frozen. He couldn't help but watch Rose's ass swing all over the place as she ran. She looked so hysterical! So funny…yet kind of weak. He was surprised at this. She had been his guardian for only a couple of months before she'd fun away, but she had never seemed like a person to get scared easily. But damn, she was scared as hell. And damn, did she look hot with her boobs going up and down and her hips swinging uncontrollably as she ran as though her life depended on it…which, considering the size and sharpness of a rooster's beak, was probably possible.

She kept on running around and around the plane, until Christian simply got tired of it. He looked around in his pockets, searching; searching…until he finally found what he was looking for - a stun gun. Going right behind the rooster he simply waited until the animal stopped for the moment to catch its breath...and then BEEP! Went the stun gun and THUMP! went the rooster's body on the floor.

Rose was still running around, more out of instinct than an actual danger. Christian tried to stop her, but she wouldn't let herself be stopped. And so he replaced the rooster by simply…chasing her.

When he finally caught her by putting his hands around her waist and pulling her closer to his body, she started fighting him. Why was he doing this to her? Was he going to play more sex games with her? See how long she could control herself until she received her orgasm? No way would she give in as easily as she had in the beginning. She screamed and started kicking him, aiming for in between his legs. Christian, though, realized pretty quickly what she was trying to do, so he did the only thing he could do – he pushed her to the floor.

And before she could say a word, he was on top of her. Now she was in trouble. He was going to do so many things…he was going to just torture her until she pleaded him to fuck her…until she screamed his name in the pleasure, until she finally admitted that she loved him…

But as he looked into her eyes, he realized something that he'd never thought possible, at least not with Rose.

She was scared.

Was it because of him, because she was realizing what he was going to do to her? Because he was basically going to…maybe truly rape her? To be honest, he'd never remembered a time when she'd told him to make love to her…not honestly. He'd gotten what he'd wanted from her by giving her pleasure first and asking the dangerous question at the exact time that she could say nothing but knew that she'd do anything to make him continue.

For the first time in his, Christian Ozera realized that he had used her the whole time. He had thought she had been scared, because of what was going to happen, because she knew she wanted it, yet she'd been thought it was wrong to do it, at least with a Moroi. And it turned out that he'd forced her the whole time. True, there was probably a small part of her that wanted him, but when he was truly honest to himself but wonder when had she ever told him that she wanted him…willingly?

That thought bothered him.

He pulled away and swore silently in Russian, so she wouldn't understand. Looking at his clock, he found the perfect excuse that wouldn't make him look weak and actually…human. Running his hands through his hair, he put his sexy mask on and said:

"If I could do you here and now I would, but unfortunately we're about to land."

She frowned and pushed him so she could get up.

This had been one of the first times in his life when Christian Ozera's sexy smile had not been real. When he wasn't using it to seduce someone, when he just did it…to hide his true feelings.

If he wasn't careful, Rose would find to pretty quickly.

But damn it, how many times would he have to put that mask on again and not truly mean it?


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the one review I got…it's not much, but one was enough to keep me posting! Thanks so much, and don't worry…they'll be honest with each other at one point of time.**

As they landed in...come to think of it, she didn't know where they landed, Rose suddenly jumped up from her seat.

"My daughter!" she screamed, terrified and also a bit guilty. How could she forget her baby, her small Christina that needed her so much?

"She'll meet us…now." Christian sighed behind her. He'd been hoping to get a little bit of alone time with her, yet the first thing she thought of was her daughter. The Rose he knew was never like that – one of her first thoughts, no matter what happened, was to protect. And second…well, sex.

As they got off the plane and onto the sidewalk, Rose started looking around. Where the heck _was_ Christina? Christian himself felt hurt and ignored. Great. Just great. He barely knew his daughter, yet he already disliked her for the weird feelings she was awakening in Rose.

"Mama!" screamed a little child and Rose immediately turned around. The bright blue eyes widened when she saw her Mom and she ran towards her as fast she could. True, she did trip once, but she stood up, not even looking at her scraped knee, laughed, and soon found herself in her mother's arms.

Rose wrapped her arms around the little girl and lifted her, squeezing her tight.

"My Christina…" she whispered and her daughter laughed with her sweet soprano voice.

"Whele were you?" she said, frowning when she wasn't able to pronounce the whole sentence. When would she learn to be big and brave like her beautiful mother?

"Sweetie, I was with…um…" as Rose pointed at Christian, she wondered what to call him. "Mr. Christian."

Christina looked up and found herself right in front of a very tall man that, strangely, looked very familiar. But at the age of two, no one really stops to think much. We just go by instinct, which is exactly what she did. Pulling away from her mother she stood in front of the big man. She had seen ones of his kinds. The ones that looked like her and her mother, yet they didn't. Since she hadn't really interacted with people of the opposite sex, she just knew them as "the male" or "another animal". So Rose expected a shy reaction. What she got was completely unexpected.

Little Christina opened up her arms and hugged Christian's leg, hanging off of it. He picked her up and laughed, kissing her chubby cheek. The child laughed and wrapped its hands around his neck.

"I like you Ml. Chlistian." she whispered in his ear. "But don't tell Mommy, ol she might get jealous."

He winked at her and she giggled.

"I promise I won't tell if you promise me you'll call me Dad."

She gasped and then laughed again, screaming:

"Daddy!"

Well, it wasn't what he expected, but…it was better than nothing

A loud cough interrupted their…understanding. They both looked behind them and saw a mad-looking Rose with her hands on her hips.

"Uh oh…Mommy not happy." Christina tugged at Christian's shirt and he put her down, staring at Rose patiently.

She was staring back at him, obviously mad. How dare he destroy the protection she'd built around her daughter when it came to her father exactly? And he'd done it with one single sentence!

Fuck you, she mouthed, so that her daughter wouldn't hear it.

He shrugged and licked his lips, putting a hand to the front of his pants, holding his crotch in an "I'm horny" way.

"She's right there!" yelled Rose and, before her daughter had turned around, Rose picked her up and turned around, heading back to where the plane had gone.

"Where are you going?" he asked her, looking after her incredulously.

"Home!" she yelled back, having no idea where home truly was. She'd changed apartments so many times in the past 3 years, trying to hide, that she no longer knew.

"How, exactly? I'm curious." Damn it, why did he have to sound so amused?

"With the plane!"

He moved faster than she thought he would, pulling her close to himself and sliding his hand in between her breasts, underneath the jacket so Christina wouldn't see. She gasped quietly, even though she tried to control herself.

"The plane already left. Don't you want to come with me? I have a king-size bed and a surprise!"

By a surprise he probably meant fucking her shortly after she'd fed and put Christina to sleep. She swallowed and shook her head, although her mind was already thinking that that wasn't such a bad idea. All she needed to do was shave her legs…she didn't even need sexy underwear, she'd wear nothing…

Stop it! She pulled away from him and turned around, looking anywhere but his eyes, knowing that if she did she'd feel herself drown into them again, into those deep-blue eyes she'd always loved…

"Where's that king bed you're talking about?" she regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. Fuck. Too late now.

"Not very far, I can call a taxi and it's about 35 minutes away from here."

"You are absolutely out of your mind! Why would you even think I'd say yes to that! You are a sick-minded person! No way would I say yes to this! No! Absolutely NO!"

"I can't believe you talked me into this!" she exclaimed as they were halfway through their trip. He'd called a taxi and by the time she'd gotten in the car it was too late to turn back. She didn't regret it, though. Not really.

During that time little Christina had fallen asleep in her arms, holding on to her mother's finger, like she always did. Now she woke up, with her hand still clutching on to that one finger for dear life and looked around her. She didn't pay much attention to her surroundings; she was too occupied by something else. Opening her mouth, she let out a small whimper that soon turned into sobbing.

"Darling, what is it?" asked Rose, not feeling very alarmed. Christina cried a lot of times when she was in a new place she didn't feel safe with.

"Mommy…my tummy hults!" her eyes couldn't hold it any longer and she let the tears fall down her cheeks as she stared up at her mother.

"What is it?" Christian, unlike Rose didn't know his daughter really well. Hell, he'd just met her less than 12 hours ago!

"She's just hungry." said Rose and reached for the buttons of her shirt.

Realizing what she was going to do, Christian looked at the driver uneasily. What if he was a pervert? Damn it! He should have called some of his people to pick him up!

Too late. She unbuttoned her shirt and pulled out one of her breasts from her bra. Like a teenager, Christian just stared, until little Christina pulled her head closer and started sucking on her mother. Christian couldn't believe it! Before, when he'd seen other mothers, he'd just thought it was gross! He had also felt a little sad, knowing that his mother had never done this to him, since she'd turned when he had been less than a year old. Now? There was no jealousy, no feeling of disgust…it was just…wonderful. He stood there, speechless, watching as a mother and child made a connection unique by itself, unknown to him. He watched as Christina fed, making small gurgling sounds and swallowing, snuggling closer to her mother. He watched as Rose stared down at her daughter with the eyes that showed way more knowledge than they should for someone of 21. They didn't just show love. They showed understanding…sympathy, as weird as it sounded. And there was nothing sexual in this, nothing perverted in what the two were doing. There was just happiness that seemed to fill the whole car…or at least that's how Christian felt. He took a quick peek at the driver. He didn't do a thing. Hmm. Didn't appreciate beauty when it was right in front of him…or, in this case, behind him.

When their daughter was fed, Rose pulled her breast back in her bra and buttoned up her shirt, looking at Christian, thinking that he was going to be staring at her as though she was crazy. What she found quite surprised her. He was simply…staring out the window not doing anything. She felt a bit of disappointment and she scolded herself immediately. What did she want? To have him stare at her bobs like he'd had…three years ago?

Maybe he had changed, after all, against all odds. Maybe he was no longer the 24/7 horny man-whore that he had been when she'd left. Then what had happened? She didn't know and…she wasn't sure she liked it altogether. But for the moment, it was fine by her…at least for a little while.

As it started to darken around them, she pushed herself closer to him, thinking he hadn't realized, when in fact, as she started doing it, he had frozen, trying not to scare her. As the moon shone above them, they got out of the car. Little Christina had fallen asleep again in her arms, than had been taken by one of the guardians to be put to sleep. With one hand, Rose caught hold of Christian's and wrapped her fingers around his. She didn't know if it was truly right, because maybe it was too early. But she listened to her heart, because deep down inside her, it felt right.

Maybe she'd done something right, or maybe she'd completely messed up everything. But Christian squeezed her hand back and they both looked at each other in the darkness. It was like it was no longer the two halves of a heart. He, afraid and confused; she, hurt and upset. Romeo and Juliet, a modern version. He left, and then comes back. She doesn't accept him. End of story.

But was it that easy? _Could_ it be that easy? Not one of them knew. Brown and blue met each other. And in their pain and sorrow and confusion, it was as if they became one. But it wasn't through sex. It was through something way more powerful – their souls becoming one, the ends that had been shattered whole again, thanks to that one other piece. They said no words, yet it was as if they didn't need to. They understood each other, just by looking in one's eyes, by holding hands. It was something as small as that, yet it felt so powerful, so…real. For the first time in years. So real.

Pulling closer to her, Christian stared in her eyes, yet at the same time. Both their hands moved, his pulling hers around his neck. They kept on looking in each other's eyes, one drowning in the ocean, the other melting with the chocolate. Both of her hands ended up on his neck, his on her waist. He pulled his lips down and slowly kissed her cheek, pulling her body even closer into an embrace. They closed their eyes as his lips slowly got closer to hers. She felt ready, though…was she? She again didn't know, but just followed her heart.

They both jumped as they heard a crash that came from right behind them.

"Crap!" someone said and they turned around to look at one of the guardians.

Christian stared at him, trembling with fury. Couldn't that dude drop the thing later…like 5 hours later when he and Rose had already made up? He looked up at Rose herself, but she had turned away, cold again. Crap.

"Rose, I…"

"I have to go." She said quietly. "I'll go check on Christina. And on…things."

"But, Rose…"

"I said I have to go!" her tone was final.

He sighed and looked after her as she ran into the hotel they were staying in. He hadn't told her the surprise – the house was not here.

But he couldn't tell her, not now. And so he made his way to the hotel and just rented a room right next door to the ones that were supposed to be for him, Rose and his daughter.

He took a quick shower, not really paying attention what he was doing. As he fell asleep, he heard sobbing from the bathroom that Rose and little Christina shared…


	4. Chapter 4

"FUCK!"

That was the last thing Rose thought would wake her, but it sure was a good alarm. Jumping up, she pulled the stake from her nightstand and stood up, taking in her surroundings. What she saw was a normal-looking room with a dresser, a king-sized bed, and a little black-headed Christina sleeping underneath the covers of her crib. Where the hell had the sound come from then?

"CRAP!" yelled the…someone again. "HOW…" followed by a THUMP! and a "DAMN IT!"

"Now what?" moaned Rose, wondering how after someone had yelled so much her daughter could still be soundly asleep?

Deciding to check on what had actually happened, Rose went to the door, slowly opening it and peeked out. To her surprise, she found two guardians…no, four! standing right outside her door and another one right next to hers. Could it be…?

CRAP! So it hadn't been a dream, after all…so he had found her again! Nothing would make him leave her…yet, she couldn't help but feel relieved – no matter how much he'd done to her, against every single rule about love that she had created for herself when she was 12, she still loved him. She knew sooner or later she was going to pay for that love…but for now, it seemed okay to love him…without letting him know.

So she quietly snuck into the next room, and, since no one stopped her, she knew that she had hit the jackpot.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck….when the fuck did this happen?" she now knew that this was Christian's voice. Her heart leapt as she recognized his voice, but she stopped herself in time. She took a couple moments to relax and, making sure that her expression gave away nothing, she went into the bathroom, where she'd heard the sounds coming from.

What she found was quite amusing. Christian…was that Christian? The blond male standing next to her?

"What?" he saw her and looked at her, wondering where the hell she'd come from.

"What did you do to your hair?" she asked, trying not to pay attention to the fact that he was wearing boxers and nothing else.

"I dyed, it okay? I'm trying to scare the hell out of the kids on Halloween." He took one look at himself in the mirror and groaned.

"That would be a great idea, yet they'd laugh more than cry out of fright." With that she couldn't help it, she started laughing.

"Ha-ha. How funny. I just love your sense of humor, Rose." He took a toothbrush from the sink and started brushing his teeth fiercely.

"You're going to have to go to the dentist instead of to the barber shop if you keep on going that way." She took his toothbrush and threw it in the sink, where I'm afraid it stayed…for the rest of the morning.

"Give it back!" he murmured under his breath, but she stood in front of the sink and shook her head. He was going to have to lift her or something to get it back.

She laughed and took his hairbrush, starting to brush her hair.

Suddenly, something changed. His eyes got all dark; the blue ocean suddenly became stormy. He slowly closed the door and…crap, did he just lock it?

Fuck. What now?

"You know, you're so sexy now…you're hard to resist, especially with your hair down and all brushed."

Her hand was still holding the hairbrush, but now her whole body had frozen. It was like the room was filled with testosterone and she couldn't help but…like it.

"I'm…going to close my eyes now and when I open them you'll be gone." she said.

She closed them tightly and she left them like that for a couple seconds, giving him time to re-think and simply leave. She didn't hear the door opening, but she still hoped for the best. When she opened her eyes…she gasped in surprise.

He was standing right there, but this time he was closer to her, their noses almost touching. When had he gotten so sneaky?

She looked into his eyes, but she was no longer drowning. His eyes were almost black and she felt the panic spread through her body, just like yesterday when he'd chased her. This was no longer about love, like yesterday. He wasn't going to wait for her and keep it at a slow pace, until she actually said yes. This time it was about needs. And she wondered how long he hadn't had sex. She remembered that he got into moods where he got all horny and could think of nothing but sex.

Crap, crap, crap! Couldn't he wait until…she'd left with Christina and then find a hooker or something? She immediately regretted the fact that she'd stayed in the hotel the whole night. She should have just waited until everyone fell asleep and then left. Why did she have to be stupid on the worst moments ever?

He pulled her close to himself and looked into her eyes.

"I know...you don't…but, please…"

This was actually the first time he'd asked her if she wanted to sleep with him.

Her heart and body screamed YES! But her mind was a little wiser. She remembered what had happened the last time she had had casual sex with him – the consequence was in the other room, still sleeping in her crib. Did she want a second child? Heck yeah! But…not from him. And definitely not now.

So why did she feel like she wanted him so badly, even though she knew it was wrong? He was like the great fruit in the garden Adam and Eve had gotten into. What was that saying? The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. That was it.

She ignored her mind that was screaming ARE YOU NUTS? and nodded, although it was barely visible.

That was all that Christian had needed to hear, and, honestly, she wasn't sure he would have left her had she really said no.

He spread her legs quickly and pressed her body against his even more, if that was possible. She moaned as she felt him harden against her. Heck, he was so big; she could feel everything even through the clothes.

His lips found hers and, just like they'd wanted to yesterday, they kissed. There was no romance in this kiss, but there was need – physical, not mental. They both moaned as their tongues met and they started a battle of who can make the kiss more intense. Their eyes closed, they let themselves feel the other's closure completely. As they kept on kissing, Christian kept on thinking of sex, and Rose…well, she couldn't think of anything. As usual, Christian Ozera had managed to make her forget everything.

He lifted her from the sink and she wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers digging into his skin at the back of his neck. Her legs circled his waist, leaving him in a position in which he could have gotten out of, which, believe me, he didn't want to get out of at all. It did make it a little harder for him to take off her clothes, yet he managed to pull the straps off of her shoulders down to her shoulders, exposing her cleavage.

His lips left hers and she moaned in disappointment, but soon moaned again with pleasure. He laid her down on the floor and his lips found their way to her neck slowly, but surely moving his way down to her cleavage.

"Don't…stop…" she whispered, though that was unneeded. He wasn't planning to.

His head kept on going down long after he'd reached her cleavage, but he still left her nightgown on. Slowly, he bit on her nipple through the fabric and she moaned louder than before. Her nipples hardening, he kept on going down, until he reached her stomach, where he lifted her nightgown, exposing her panties. He slowly ran his tongue from her ribs down to her belly button, where he bit the skin and made her freeze. So he hadn't forgotten what she loved. He had been playing with her and had discovered so many things about her body…she herself had discovered her sexuality thanks to him. But that had been a long time ago…when they were barely 17, and then 18. A lot of time had passed since then. And he definitely knew way more about sex now than he did then.

His hands, which had been on her shoulders the whole time, slid down to her exposed hips and he slowly pulled himself up, looking her in the eyes. She stared back at him, wonder and a bit of fright. So she wanted this, she just wasn't sure it was right. _Now _he figured it out.

He put his lips to her ear, biting the tip of it, sending electricity through her body.

"Don't worry, baby. I won't hurt you." he whispered.

She pulled his head up and looked into his eyes.

"I trust…you…" she whispered and he nodded understandingly.

They stood like that for a couple minutes, he looking at her face, she staring at his muscles in admiration. There was nothing left of the little boy she'd left. This body was all male with a hell of n erection slowly expanding more and more. _Could_ he become bigger than he already was?

Finally, Christian did what she wanted and no longer dreaded. Her mind had already given up on the battle against his heart. His hands on her hips grabbed the nightgown and hungrily pulled it up to her shoulders. She stood up a bit, pressing her breasts against his chest, which made them both moan, yet also gave Christian a chance to pull the nightgown over her head. He threw it who knows where and put his hands on her breasts. Slowly, his fingers started massaging, making her widen her eyes and scream his name. Afraid that they might be heard, he pressed his lips against hers. She kissed him back and her hands went down to his boxers, pulling them down with one fast movement. He kicked his boxers out of the way and his lips found her neck again. This time his hands slid down even lower, to her panties, where they stayed, while his lips slowly found one of her nipples and started sucking on them. She gasped as his hands slowly started pulling her panties down. When he pulled them down to her ankles, she kicked them out of the way, and one of his hands started to move up to her ribcage and stopped at her free breast, grabbing it and massaging it carefully, yet passionately. She groaned, putting her hands in his hair, and started pulling. His eyes widened at the passion that she was showing. Was that the Rose that had let herself be controlled completely during sex? She had changed…a lot. Or, she wanted sex so much that she couldn't control herself. Whatever the reason, it made him act faster than he wanted to.

With the hand that was still on her hips, he quickly pulled two of his fingers inside her and she screamed in pain. That was in the beginning, but he suddenly realized what he'd done and started thrusting his fingers inside her slowly, until she'd gotten used to it. His lips were still on her nipple, but he was triumphant. She hadn't slept with anyone else after him!

His fingers still in her, he started going faster and felt the sweat that coming out of her body. She was starting to lose control. But he wasn't going to let her cum. He quickly pulled his fingers out of her and took away his hands and lips form her breasts.

"NO!" she screamed. "Go back, go back!"

Damn, she sounded desperate. He smiled at her.

"Nope." He shook his hands.

"Bastard." she said…in a loving sort of way. He smiled.

And then he pulled himself inside her.

She gasped and her fingers slid down to his arms, where she dug her nails deep into his skin. He was sure he would have scars and maybe even blood afterwards, but he didn't care.

He waited until she got used to him and then he started thrusting inside her, first slowly, but quickly picking up speed. They both started moaning in unison as he felt his orgasm come closer.

His hands got lost in her hair and they both looked each other in the eyes. What he saw in there turned him on even more, yet…it scared him. There was so much love in her eyes…it was just creepy. He'd never seen anything like it.

After a couple minutes, his speed was going so fast that both their bodies were moving incredibly fast, yet it was worth it, because a couple seconds later they moaned as they got their orgasm together.

He pulled himself out of her and fell on the floor beside her. She snuggled closer to him and he wrapped his arms around her. They were both breathing heavily in each other's ear.

"Fuck!" she said, trying to catch her breath.

"What…happened?" he asked, not really caring what she was going to say.

"I just…fucked….a…blondie…"


	5. Chapter 5

They stood together for what felt like days, although it was barely a half-hour. During this time, Rose's mind started screaming to her again, but she ignored it, until it truly hit her.

She felt her surroundings. She was lying on a very comfortable carpet in a bathroom…in the arms of…SHIT!

She stood up and her whole body started complaining. Damn, she was sore already.

"What…happened?" she whispered, her eyes widening. Damn it, why were they both naked?

"Don't tell me you don't remember." He smiled at her and licked his lips.

Now it all started to come back to her. His kisses, his touches, her moans…FUCK!

"Nothing…happened. Got it?"

He snorted and pulled her down, his body on top of hers. She shivered, it all felt so good…and her body still wanted him, even after what had happened.

"No…let go…" even she could tell she didn't mean it.

"You don't mean it, do you…" he whispered, running his hand up and down her body. She moaned quietly, giving herself away even more. "See? Now how about we go again the way we did this morning, but this time…we'll take our time."

"No, please…" she moaned, but his lips went down to her breasts, his fingers dug inside her again.

She moaned, letting him give her the pleasure she wanted yet again. His lips found their way on her neck and he bit her skin softly, making her moan. She was sure she was going to have a bruise or something from that, but she didn't care.

He kept on playing with her body; just like he'd done it less than an hour ago, but this time Christian himself felt that something was wrong here. She was…tense. She couldn't relax like she'd had the last time. Or had she? Half an hour ago, it had been about sex, needs. They'd done it like animals, but there had been no love. Fuck! When had love become so important to him? He'd sworn he'd loved her once, but now he wasn't sure. _Did_ he love her? _Did_ she love him? That last question bugged him. And it bugged him enough to pull away from her.

Her face showed a lot of confusion and then the veil that seemed to be in her eyes for the past couple hours suddenly vanished. Her stare cleared and she looked at him and then around herself.

"What did I do?" she screamed.

"Baby, calm down." He said as she started to panic. But it was too late. She wrapped a towel around her body and tried to go to through the door, and when she couldn't, she started pulling at the handle.

"Don't…pull, you'll break it!" he yelled as he realized that she might get them stuck in there.

Too late. She hadn't heard him, she was too upset. She kept on pulling and pulling ad pulling until…there was nothing to pull. She fell backwards as the handle gave way and fell into the bath tub. Her hand smacked the shower itself, turning it on right above her. She screamed loudly as the shower started running above her.

"MY HAIR!" she screamed. "MY HAIR WILL GET RUINED WITHOUT CONDITIONER!"

"THEN STOP THE SHOWER!" he yelled back.

"I CAN'T! HOW DO I DO IT?"

"TURN IT!"

"TURN WHAT?"

And so they stood there, feeling extremely stupid, with the shower running and the door broken. Both of them were pulling on different things on the shower, hoping to turn it on. Christian pulled her back and immediately fell in the bathtub, as Rose turned on the warm water to maximum. He yelled in pain as she pushed him and fell down in the tub again. This time, he turned on the cold water and she screamed in terror as it hit her. Finally, they both pulled on something, having no idea what it was and the shower completely stopped.

They both let a sigh of relief and sat down together in the bathtub, Rose wrapped in now a cold towel. He was used to cold, but she wasn't and she soon started shivering.

"Cold?" he laughed at her and she stuck his tongue out at him, just like a five-year old.

"I hate you."

"Yet we seem to be stuck together for a while."

"How much would a while be?" she asked, afraid of what the answer might be.

"As long as you want it to be." She shivered at that thought.

"But I'm c-cold!" she whined.

"I can fix that."

"NO." she pulled the towel closer to herself, shivering even more.

He laughed and she looked into his eyes. They were back to the ocean-blue. There was no longer storm in them, which she liked. He saw her staring at him and blushed slightly.

"What?"

She sighed and wondered whether she should tell him the truth. Was it worth it? Or was he just going to make fun of her? She decided to tell him no matter what.

"I just love your eye-color. I love that Christina got your eyes." She confessed and looked up at him, afraid of what she might see. He definitely looked surprised, yet he also looked amused. There was also something else hidden there, yet she couldn't tell what exactly.

"She did get your thick hair and shape of the eyes, though."

"And I bet with a father like you she would be even more attractive than me."

"Probably." He agreed. She grabbed the cold towel, pulled it away from herself and threw it at him.

"OW!" he said sarcastically. "That hurt so much!"

"You'll live." She was definitely not feeling sympathetic now. She was feeling a little weird for being happy to be…locked away in a bathroom with him.

"Are you still cold?" she nodded quickly and her stomach made a weird noise. "And hungry, I guess?"

"You know me." She shrugged and covered herself with another towel.

He laughed and opened a drawer, pulling out a male shirt with what looked like Cyrillic letters. She wasn't sure what they meant, but she didn't care either. He threw the shirt at her and she quickly put it on her. He took another shirt out and…

"NO! I mean…don't put on a shirt!" she wouldn't admit it, but she liked seeing his chest exposed. He shrugged.

"Do you want me to run bare-assed as well?" he laughed at that, but she shuddered. She wasn't sure she could handle that.

"Put your boxers on!" she frowned at him, but as he turned around and she saw him cover up, she felt a little disappointed.

He opened another drawer and pulled out…

"A bottle of wine?" she couldn't believe it. "You have got to be kidding me."

He shrugged, taking out two glasses from the same place as the wine bottle and settled it on the carpet, almost exactly where they'd had sex just a while ago. He also pulled out from another drawer a box filled with what looked like pieces of meat and cheese.

"Isn't that romantic – a picnic in a bathroom." She couldn't help but be sarcastic about this whole thing.

"I'm a very romantic guy." He said in a very low voice and they both laughed.

He opened the wine bottle and filled the two glasses, taking one in his hand. He gave the other one to Rose, who slowly and still a little unsure about this, crept out of the bathtub and sat on the carpet. He slowly shook his head.

"You don't trust me after all I've done for you? I can't believe this." He received a middle finger for that. "I guess I deserve that."

He joined her on the carpet and they both took a sip of wine at the same time.

"You know…there are times when I wish I didn't treat you the way I did. Like…like you were a slut and…"

"Don't!" she wished she could get out of the bathroom and go to Christina, hold on to her small body and just cry until she got it out of her system. Yet she couldn't. She was stuck.

"No, I have to…I'm…sorry…" He couldn't continue, since he didn't know what else to say.

They both stayed quiet for quite a while, both lost in their thoughts, thinking of pretty much the same thing. She was mad at him, after everything he'd done, but the worst thing right now was…she was starting to believe him. Even though she didn't want to…she did.

Finally, Christian broke the pregnant pause.

"You know, I could easily get you drunk right now."

She laughed.

"You know, you're kind of reversing things."

"By that you mean…?" His face looked blank.

"You usually get me drunk first and then I get knocked up."

"Well, I can always sleep with you again."

Her eyes widened and she wrapped her hands around her neck.

"Not if you want to keep me alive! I'm already sore!"

"Well…we can always think of something." There was something erotic in the way he said it and he licked his lips…for who knows which time.

"I'm afraid to find out what you'll do to me."

"Sweetheart, I've already gotten you pregnant and given you a child. What is there that I can do that can be worse than that?"

"What do you mean? I love Christina, I would never replace her!" How could he suggest something like that?

"Of course you do. And I'm sure that if I you got pregnant again, you would love your second child just as much and spoil him or her even more." His eyes looked at hers. He looked and looked and looked…and suddenly there were flames in his hands and in his eyes. She didn't understand what he was saying, but she suddenly felt her whole body warm up again and it had nothing to do with the flames.

"Watch out." He said and she pulled away. He took the two candles that were standing by the sink and lit them with the flames.

She looked into the candles and it was like she could see her past into the flame. Starting school, meeting Lissa, meeting Christian…the accident, Lissa dying…getting closer with Christian, sleeping with him…getting pregnant, crying in the bathroom by herself, feeling scared and lost…leaving…everything…

"Rose?" she looked away from the candle and into his eyes.

And it was like the night before, when they just stared at each other. She felt safe again, even though three years ago she would have said that she is with the scariest person in the world. His hand, this time faster than the last time, got onto her waist again and pulled her closer to him. He learned closer to her, trying to kiss her, but she pulled away.

"Don't!" she whimpered, her eyes filling with tears.

"What's wrong, Rose? Roza?" Her eyes widened at the old nickname. "Do you remember?"

She tried to nod, but she couldn't move. Her body shook and she started crying quietly. He suddenly understood, just like she'd always wanted him to. And so he pulled her to his body, wrapping his other hand around her waist as well. She continued to cry onto his shoulder, shivering, but no longer from being cold.

"I'm…happy yet…I don't know…why…why I'm…crying!" she said, still holding on to him. Finally able to move, she wrapped her arms around him.

And they stood like that for what felt like forever, holding on to each other. She didn't know what happened afterwards, for she fell asleep into his arms. But he softly pulled away her hair from her ear and whispered into it:

"You're the one, my Roza."

**Was it romantic enough? Or did it sound like something Christian would do? Tell me with a Review! Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

They spent the rest of the day in the bathroom, not doing much. As Rose slept in Christian's arms, Christian himself was staring down at her, stroking her hair slowly, wishing that he could stay like that forever. It was then that he truly realized how much he truly loved that little creature that was holding on to him as though her life depended on it. Of course, he loved Christina, but she was like a new creature, an unknown one. He wasn't sure he would ever love her as much as he loved Rose.

Oh...of course he would, once he got used to her! She was his daughter, after all! Before he knew it, she'd be running to the school bus with a backpack that was twice her size, and she'd be coming home from the same school bus, telling him all about her first day in kindergarten, eyes shining. He knew himself, he knew Rose, so he was pretty sure that he wouldn't have a shy daughter once she actually got old enough to express her opinions. Right now she was a small person that had just discovered that the world was bigger than Mother and the places she'd been hidden, that there was more to life than plains in the sky, looking for you, and snuggling in Mother's arms. And before he knew it, the kindergartener would become a high-scholar and she would be no longer Mother's baby, she would be held by a different person, a male, just like Christian was holding on to her Mother now…

He would protect his daughter from every single male that tried to hurt her. He was already starting to think of creative ways to use his magic, and the thought of their faces made him laugh, but he quickly stopped, afraid that he might wake up Rose.

He looked down at her again and felt a sharp pain in his heart as he realized that there had been no one to protect Rose, for Rose had never known her father, so she had never had the option to hide under her father's shadow. He wondered what would have happened had Rose been raised by her father, if they friendly, if he was protective….would he, Christian Ozera, have truly ever given chance to the love that he was feeling now for Rose Hathaway? Or would he have buried it deep inside him? Would Christina exist? Or would he…still find a chance to be with her?

So many questions, and he'd probably never know the answer. But he knew one thing – why he felt the pain. It wasn't just for that realization, it was for another thing. He had also figured out another thing. If Rose had had a protective father, she would probably be much happier now, with a person who would never have used her for sex, just because he couldn't control his teenage hormones. She might be even married to the person she was guarding, and _thinking_ about children, instead of _having_ them before she knew what to do with them.

On the other hand, she would probably never give up Christina to go and live the life she had always dreamt of. She would probably leave when pregnant and never want to see him again, because….

And that's when it hit him. He had always thought that she had left because she was scared of how she'd look as a pregnant 18-year old. It had never been because of that. She had simply left because of…him.

He pulled her head closer to his own and his lips slowly touched her forehead.

"I'm sorry." He moaned.

Her eyes suddenly opened wide and she looked up into his eyes. She had such beautiful eyes, just like everything else about her! He was kind of sorry that Christina had his eyes.

"For what?" she asked, looking at him, confused.

"For being such an ass 3 years ago?" he didn't want it to sound like a question, but it truly did.

Now was the time where she would not look away from his eyes and tell him it was okay, that all that mattered was that she loved him, and if he promised never to do it again she would forgive him forever, although she would probably be scarred for life. And he would smile at her and they'd say "I love you" together and they would kiss and make love over and over again…hell, they could probably make another baby!

Nice. In a fairytale.

In reality, she snorted and looked up at him, amused.

"Nice." She said. "Right. Like you're sorry. Gosh, I'm stupid for almost believing you."

"You don'…believe me?" He couldn't believe it. Hell, he'd been so honest with her for once!

"Believe you? Christian, I don't trust you? I never had!" she laughed, but there was no longer humor in her eyes. There was just the pain and he felt even worse for making her feel that way. But there was also something else starting to creep up inside him – anger.

"What exactly don't you trust in me?" he said, his voice shaking on the last word as he tried to control himself.

This time she laughed.

"What exactly don't you trust in me?" she said in a high-pitched voice. Was she…mocking him?

"Look, I'm serious." He tried again.

"Look, I'm serious." She repeated.

"Stop it!" He couldn't handle her; he was really getting pissed off.

"Stop it!" she repeated.

That was it! He pulled her away and pushed her on the floor. One of her legs hit the bathtub and she looked at him, confused. And then she froze, as she saw the fire in his eyes. If she wasn't careful, she knew the fire would become a reality in his hands. But she didn't care – she too was getting pissed off.

"Be careful, Ozera!" her voice wasn't cold yet, but it sure as heck was getting there. "You don't know who you're dealing with."

"Ooh, I'm scared!" he said in a high-pitched voice.

"You sound like you're five?" she spat out at him.

"Oh, and may I ask how old you are if I'm 5?" Now _he_ was the one mocking _her_.

"I'm a mature young woman that is getting tired of you being so childish?"

"I'm very curious, though – if I'm so childish, how in the world did I give you an orgasm a while ago?"

She opened her mouth and closed it again. And then she pointed at him and started yelling:

"You see? You yourself just told me a while ago that you were sorry for being an ass 3 years ago – well, if you truly were an ass 3 years ago, what are you now? Because you keep on making everything about sex! Sex here, sex there! Why don' you just fuck me up doggie-style then leave me! Isn't that what you want? Instead, you just rub me here and there whenever you want to, and then you pull back!"

"WHO SAID I'M PULLING BACK?

"YOU DID, YOU BASTARD!"

The word stung as the real meaning hit him. As he thought about it, in a way he truly could be one. She had done what she wanted – she'd hurt him. But that didn't mean that he'd show her that.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING GA BASTARD, YOU WHORE!

"SON OF A BITCH!"

"YOU'RE THE BITCH YOURSELF!"

"MOTHERFUCKER!"

"SHITFACE!

"JACKASS!"

"SLUT!

The last word was final to her. She moved to the door and tried to open it dramatically. Unfortunately, her hand just hung in the air, since there was no handle on the door. Realizing it, she turned around and looked at Christian, who was already feeling a bit guilty. He looked at her and opened his mouth to apologize, but closed it as she said with an ice-cold voice:

"Let me out, Christian."

"Rose, I…"

"I said get me OUT, OZERA!" she screamed the last words and he froze.

"No." was all he said quietly.

"You listen to me, Christian Ozera, I…" her sentence was cut off as his lips stopped her from saying much more. He kissed her passionately and a little desperately, hoping to fix things between them. He really hadn't meant any of the bad things he'd just told her.

She kissed him back, also desperate, although she was trying to clear her mind, to think of everything _but _him. But she couldn't. His tongue licked her lower lip as though to ask for an entrance which she gave him and their tongues met, joining together like their bodies had a while ago.

It was sweet, and damn, it felt good, especially with his hands going down underneath the shirt that was his that she wore. But there was something wrong. It had to do with her face…he wasn't sure what it was exactly, though.

As he kept on kissing her, his hands moved underneath the shirt and touched her bare breasts. She moaned, but there was also something else…a sob. As soon as he thought of it, he felt something wet and warm touch their joined mouths.

She was crying.

Three years ago, it hadn't been much. She was crying half the time before he'd slept with her, and honestly, he hadn't cared. But now it _felt _wrong. He pulled away and looked at her.

As soon as his lips left hers and his hands slid off her breasts, she opened her eyes and looked at him, still crying. Slowly, she put one of her hands on her shirt right where her chest was and one in between her legs through the shirt. She squeezed slowly and moaned in pleasure.

He just stared. It really was turning him on, but it sure as heel was weird, particularly since he stood right next to her. Was she…?

"What are you doing? He asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"I'm masturbating and putting dirty pictures into my mind." She said. She moaned again, but then put her hands away from her body and looked into his eyes. "_This_ is what we've done. We've masturbated together. We've had sex like animals. There was truly no emotion in any of the times we did, it just happened because we wanted it, but mostly because _you _wanted _me_. I never had a say in it, except the last time, when you would have probably fucked me anyways even if I had said no. You've never made love to me, no matter how much I've wanted it. And there _is_ a difference between making love and sex, at least to me. To me, making love is becoming one through sexual interactions, yet there's always love there. And sex is just something you do for fun and to satisfy your needs. _That_ is why having sex with you and masturbating by myself gives me the same results. Think about it."

He didn't really. He just stared. He still couldn't believe it that she truly _had_ masturbated in front of him. But a while later, her words started having a meaning and he realized, that she was right…._again_.

"You're right." He whispered.

"I know I am. Now let me out, Christian." She looked at him expectantly.

He shook his head.

"I can't do that. I mean, I can…I think there's something in here that we can cut the door with, or I can always yell for my guardians. But I really can't _emotionally_ let you out. So give me a minute."

"Well, I don't have a minute, so please open the door _now._"

He shook his head and she sighed. She headed towards the door and put her hand into a fist, as though she was about to break the door.

He couldn't let her do that. Not yet. So he quickly grabbed her hand and shook his hand, and when she didn't react, he pulled her off her feet by her waist. She quickly kicked him in between the legs, though, and moaning, he dropped her. Yet he was mad again.

"Rosemarie, get away from that door." He said, his voice getting dangerous.

"Who's going to make me?" she didn't care what he thought of now, no longer.

"I am." He answered.

"Yeah, right."

Her comment didn't annoy him as much as the fact that it seemed that she didn't really trust him and did not think he was capable of much. A common female wouldn't really care much about that, but he was a male and it hurt his pride.

He took her by the wrist and held on to it with as much strength as he could without breaking her hand. She tried pulling away from him, but he was stronger. Instead she just screamed:

"Let me go!"

"NO!" he screamed back. She started pulling away from him, but he pulled her closer, touching nothing but her wrist. The skin there was getting blue and he was sure he was probably stopping her circulation, but he didn't care. Not now. She was way past what he would let slip by. As she turned around, she tried kicking him in-between the legs again, but this time he didn't let her. Finally, after a couple minutes of screaming and kicking and pushing and pulling, she finally managed to free herself. He tried grabbing her wrist again, but this time she pushed him backwards and he fell. Turning to the door, she made another attempt to break it, but he pulled her away from it again and there started the screaming…yet again. But it was just one scream. Then she turned around, and screamed again. And then his hand was on her cheek for what felt like a second, then it was gone. There was nothing.

All that was left behind was the pain and the warmth of her cheek as she touched it.

She froze, with her hand on the cheek he'd just hit. His eyes widened, then there was silence.

He stepped back a minute later and she turned around, breaking the door. She felt a pain in the hand she broke the door with, a sign that the mentioned hand was broken. But she didn't care. She pulled the shirt down as much as she could and ran out of his apartment.

And Christian just stood there, staring at one thing, nothing in particular, just frozen, for a very long time…

**Just so you know, if you haven't already seen the pattern, I update every four days. I don't know which way to go with this fic, there are a lot of options. Hopefully you liked it enough to Review, I read every one of them **


	7. Chapter 7

**Sadly, I didn't get as many reviews as I'd hoped for, but that's okay! Hopeuflly I'll be happier this time :) **

Some people exist to make someone happy. Others do to create something new in the world, or to become the next who-knows-what and then die and be forgotten. No matter what, it is certain that everyone exists in some weird way. And everyone have a purpose in life, although it may be something as small as finishing up breakfast as fast as you could, or as big as graduating with honors from Harvard. As for a certain person known by the name of Rose Hathaway, she herself had no idea what her purpose of life was.

She just stood in her room, staring at the wall without truly seeing it, not what the hell she was doing. Her body was rocking back and forth, completely out of control, and she just sat on the bed. It wasn't like that in her thoughts, though. Her thoughts, which were a complete mess, where she was completely lost and didn't know exactly what to do. It was like a person that had a filled up schedule and was wondering how to squeeze in a few more things and manage to get their sleep and do their own things. Except she was losing track of that busy schedule, missing important meetings, and getting to spend time with their little one. That last sentence there hurt, since it was going to close to homerun. She felt like she hadn't done a good job of raising Christina so far. And maybe she could just…stay here? She truly had meant to run away from Christian and take Christina with her, of course, but when she really thought of it, where would she go? She would end up running around again. That would be okay for the next two years? For Christina was turning 3 in about two months, and pretty soon she'd be five and needing to start kindergarten. What would she do then? She didn't know.

But, she decided, the last choice would be to stay here and give up on true love. Maybe it wasn't like in fairytales, maybe…

At that moment the door opened up and she saw Christian come in. It had been 2 hours since he had hit her, and since then she had found out that she had broken her hand. Not that it mattered much to her. She'd gotten it fixed in no time and now the only problem she was facing was…him.

He was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath, with an open mouth. When he saw her, he closed it and just stood in the room, closing the door behind him carefully. Thankfully, she was fully dressed. She didn't know what she would have done had he been half naked again, or worn nothing at all…she probably wouldn't have been able to resist him. At least now she could think clearly.

They stood there, she, avoiding his eyes, he, trying to look kin hers. Nobody said a word for what felt like forever, and it was one of those uncomfortable silences often called a pregnant pause. Except the difference here was that both of them wanted to say something, but what? Neither of them knew? And what was expected of them, anyways? Were they supposed to yell at each other and then end up by having sex again? Or were they supposed to sit and talk like rational people and get their problems cleared out? Surely they couldn't just stand and not say anything forever, particularly since Rose had decided to stay…although, whether or not Christian knew, she didn't know and didn't care much.

At one point of time, Christian started to say something, to apologize actually. Their eyes met and he saw hope in hers just like she saw hope in his. Yet in her eyes he saw pain as well – and it wasn't physical.

He couldn't do it. He just couldn't. Not now. So he cleared his throat and said, instead:

"The plain will leave in an hour."

If he had been disappointed to get no reaction from Rose, he got one now. She suddenly jumped up from the bed and looked at him, alarmed. Now what?

"Where are you going?" She did her best to say "you" instead of "we", although it was extremely hard not to. Somehow, she had started letting him in her life again and he was still controlling their relationship completely. She had no idea if he could change that.

"Back to my house. My actual house, not a hotel. And…um… I was thinking that I wanted to show Christina around, so…" he stopped, since he had no idea what else to say. They both what he said wasn't truly what he meant. He want to have her, Rose with him as well, he just didn't know how to say it.

Rose nodded her head, not ready to apologize yet, although she felt guilty.

"That's cool." She said. "I mean…should I come with her? It's a new place and you guys are really acquainted, so…" she didn't finish either since she, too, like Christian, seemed to not know what to say.

Christian shrugged as though he didn't care. In fact his heart leapt when he realized that she was thinking of coming with hi, after everything he'd done to her, especially after two hours ago. Rose misread the shrugging, though. She thought of as an "I want my daughter to come with me and I really don't care about you. It was all for the sex, anyways." She looked at Christian face, without his eyes, of course, and with an ice-cold voice she said:

"Why don't you just kill me and then re-marry one of your whores? Maybe then you'll have your happily ever after."

And she left to pack her bags, knowing she mustn't leave her daughter with such a psychopath

And Christian was left alone, just to stare behind her again, this time truly at a loss of words, since his mind was simply…blank. He did now know what to think of this.

They got on the plane exactly 55 minutes later, by Rose's clock. Both of them were definitely _not_ looking forward to the flight. Only little Christina seemed excited, as she screamed, her eyes shining, when she saw the small castle with dolls that was waiting for her in one corner of the plane.

"Mothel, can I…?" she always called her "Mother", unless she was having very strong emotions. Mother had taught her that "Mommy" and "Mama" were too childish, even if she was only 2. She frowned at not being able to pronounce the "r" right, but still looked up at her mother hopefully. Rose smiled at her, nodded and little Christina went to the castle and stayed there the whole flight, kept busy by the dolls' hair and dresses.

She and Christian sat together, Rose by the window and didn't say a word. Rose just stared out the window, ignoring him, pretending to be extremely interested in the clouds.

He decided it was finally time to start talking to her. So he started with something casual.

"What did you want to be?" he asked, looking at her with the corner of his eye.

"When?" she asked, surprised, but not showing it. He smiled, relieved that she was answering him.

"When you were younger."

She sighed.

"You don't want to know. It will bore you."

He raised his eyebrows and looked at her.

"Not it wouldn't."

She still kept quiet.

"Come on. Please?"

She sighed.

"When I was a kid I had a dream every day that my Mom would turn out to be a very famous, lost Queen. And that she would come back to me, and open up her arms and say she loves me and never meant to leave me. And we would live our happily ever, until I turned 18. And then I wouldn't have to guard anyone and a strange prince will come to me. And he would have had black hair and blue eyes, because that was my dream man when I was younger. He'd be on a white horse and he'd take me up in his arms and whisper that he loves me. And then he'll take me on a romantic adventure to his big palace and we'd be married and have eleven children – I had thought of a name for all eleven of them! – and then we'll live our happily ever after and he'd spoil me and love me and…" she stopped and he looked at her, to find her eyes filled with tears. She shook her head. "It was a stupid dream, anyways.

"I like it." A servant came over to me at that time. "A martini, please."

"Getting drunk now, in front of…?" Rose pointed to the castle's corner and raised her eyebrows.

"What's with that?" he suddenly asked. He knew he should have stopped himself, but he couldn't and it was too late now.

"What's with what?" she asked, looking confused.

"You're avoiding my eyes." He answered quietly.

She sighed and looked out the window again There they were, at the quiet stage again. He sighed, thinking she wouldn't talk to him again. He'd said the wrong thing. He just had to start watching his mouth. But to his surprise and relief, she spoke less than a minute later:

"Lots of things have changed, Christian." She said, her voice barely a whisper.

He swallowed, or tried to. He couldn't, there was a huge lump expanding in his throat.

"You don't…love me anymore?" he asked, also whispering, although there was no one close by to hear them.

She laughed, and it was a bitter laugh, not one that made you laugh as well, but one that made you shiver.

"This is not about love – this is about how you treat people. And you have to learn that you aren't the only one in the world."

"I know that!" Gosh, how many people had told him that inn his whole life? He could even recall the tone they'd said it in – all in the same, annoyed voice, as though he was nothing but a bug that they didn't want, but still took care of because they had to.

Everyone had treated him like that, his whole life, up until he was 18. He'd been the Ozera kid; the one with the Strigoi parents, the one everyone was scared of and avoided. Then when he was 18, he'd gotten out in the real world and girls had suddenly realized that he was actually very sexy to them. He had had a girlfriend back then, although he wasn't sure Rose really had thought of him as a boyfriend at the age of 18. Anyways, he had started to feel weird feelings towards Rose and had started to use her, afraid of these new and unknown feelings, for it was like an unknown territory to him. About 4 months later, she'd run away and he didn't realize why, until way later…and he also recognized those feelings later as the one of love, of finding your soul mate and spending the rest of your life with them.

"I love you." He suddenly said and looked at her lovingly, hoping she would believe him.

She froze and they finally stared in each other's eyes again, since that one dreadful hour, when they hadn't said much. He could see tears into her eyes and she reached out, as though she needed to be comforted. And he was there, ready for her, spreading his arms, hey started leaning close to each other…

"The martini, sir!" said one of the servants and Rose and Christian looked up to see the drink be put in front of Christian. He just stared at it, and then up at Rose. There were still tears in her eyes, but she was no longer leaning towards him. Instead she grabbed the drink and looked up at him, staring right into his eyes, hers filled with anger.

"Dirty bastard." She said. She threw the drink in his face, dropped the galas on the floor, which broke into pieces, like her broken heart had once upon a time. And then she went to her somewhat of a happily ever after, to play with her little daughter, which was all she had left in this world.

**So…was it too harsh? I'm expecting tearful letters telling me that I'm so cruel :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey, back again! You ready for another lemon, or shall I say another torture? Here it is, though I don't know if it is much of a lemon!**

_She looked up at him, amazed at how nice he could be. His eyes, filled with hunger, kept on staring at hers, trying to read the expression that was on her face. It was like he was entering her soul, the first person who would ever understand her pain ever since Lissa had left the world of the living. Like he was the first person that…she could trust, and fall in love with over and over again. She couldn't help but stare in his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes that she didn't think she could ever forget. And she was drowning, for the first time in her life, yet feeling like she was at the top of her world, and also beginning to be very…she didn't know quite what she was, but she liked the feeling, yet it felt weird. Wrong, in a way. But wrong in a sexy way._

_She shook her head and looked at him, to realize that he was trying to seduce her. Why would he? She was already his; all he had to do was ask. But he said no words at all. Instead, he looked at her body, his eyes staying just the right amount of time on just the right places – every single one of her curves, making her flush just at him looking. He wasn't even touching, yet she already found this unbelievably sexy. _

_He kept on staring, his eyes going up and down her body, and she was starting to sweat, but to also want him. Couldn't he just stop the torturing and just…get it over with? Touch her, make her feel like a woman should, make her scream his name in pleasure, because, after all, isn't that what every man wants? To give pleasure to the woman he loves?_

_True, he hadn't said I love you quite yet. But she was sure he did. He had to. Otherwise…why would he do this weird thing to her so much? Surely it wasn't simply to torture her._

_As he kept on looking and looking she started imagining her body pressed against his, her hands running up and down his body, her nails digging into the front of his boxers, right in between his legs, where she could already feel his hard-on._

_Why wouldn't he stop looking? She couldn't control herself, so she just opened her mouth and spoke, a little breathlessly:_

"_Aren't you going to…I don't know, do something?"_

"_The question" he said, a smile that she liked yet didn't starting to form on his lips "should be aren't I going to do you. For that is what you want, isn't it, sweetheart?"_

_She blinked and blushed, looking down at her feet. To be honest, she actually had meant what he had just said. But it was still embarrassing to hear that one man and only one man could drive a 17 year old that crazy. It was sweet in a story and true in a fairytale, but it was neither of those things in real life. It was just plain…weird._

_He finally took one step, that one step that she'd been waiting for, but then stopped._

"_Baby…" he whispered, loud enough for her to hear, but just barely. She shivered as she followed his lips while they said that one word that was so sweet, like a lullaby, to her ears._

_He took another step, not taking his eyes off of her body, still going up and down and stopping at her curves, which was making her feel extremely uncomfortable, yet a weird feeling was trying to set in. that weird feeling from before, but stronger, oh, much stronger! Couldn't he just hold her, touch her on the right places instead of just looking?_

_He took yet another step, and now they were just a breath away, and she started to feel electricity run through her whole body. He hadn't touched her yet, but he might as well have._

_He leaned closer to her, his lips at her ear, and slowly exhaled into it. Her whole body shivered in pleasure and she found herself sighing, without even realizing it. That weird feeling was there, and she was barely able to control it. Could it be…the need for a male's company? Her sexuality finally showing up, besides dreams? She felt excited about finding out what that weird thing was, yet she wasn't sure like it was the right time for it appearing. As much as she wanted him, a part of her inside her told her to run away, as though he was a monster, a mistake she didn't need in her life. But then again, what could he do to her? Surely a man did not possess a power to make love to a woman and destroy her life in the exact same night? _

_He pulled his hand up, and slowly, oh so painfully slowly! reached for her waist. Then, quicker than she thought he could, and still too slow for what she wanted, he pulled her close to his body, pressing her against him. Slowly he started rubbing their bodies together and her eyes widened at the pleasure he was causing her, and so much more. She just wanted him, yet he was going too slowly!_

"_You're…not fast enough…" she moaned as his finger slowly ran over her breast, and she felt his touch even through her bra._

"_Like that?" he asked slowly, smirking._

_Like it? Oh, it was everything she wanted, yet it wasn't enough!_

"_Keep on going!" she pleaded, starting to unbutton his shirt, almost in an attempt to rip it. But he shook his head and laughed. It was a sexy laugh. Right now, she found everything sexy._

_His hand slowly moved up to the middle of her back, and unbuttoned her bra single-handed, as his other hands went to her arms and pulled down her straps. He completely took away her bra and she shivered as he pressed his body even closer to hers. But this time her breasts were not protected by a bra and she moaned loudly, feeling the hardening of her nipples as they rubbed against his chest._

_She couldn't take it anymore. He had stopped again, going to just rubbing and rubbing and rubbing and she was starting to get wet and she couldn't help it. He had already started to find out and that brought a smile to his face._

"_You're soaking wet, aren't you? You little slut?"_

_How could he call her that? Nobody ever called her that and got away with it! She tried to pull away from him, but he proved to be incredibly strong and kept her on one place. She kept on trying to pull away, yet he wouldn't let her go. Her eyes widened and she let out a small scream before his hand shut her up._

_And suddenly what had been a very intense and pleasurable afternoon turned into horror for less than 10 seconds. She had misunderstood a man. He couldn't make love to a woman and destroy her life in one night. But he could fuck her up and leave her worse for life than when he had begun with her._

"_You don't get it, do you?" he whispered again in her ear and she shivered again, mostly because of the pleasure, but also because she was scared. There was no one to help her and he would fuck her without caring. "It's not you who controls the game. It's me. And it's always been me and it's always going to be me. Because I'm always going to get out of this satisfied and feeling sexier than ever, and you'd be the one left in the dark with the soaked, ripped up panties, trying to catch her breath from the past nightmare, ending with an unforgettable orgasm. It's not you who controls the game. It's me."_

_And with that, he put his hand inside her jeans and started massaging her through her panties, his hand letting go of her mouth. She cried out in pleasure, but tears also started coming out of her face. He wouldn't stop, and why would he? It felt so good…yet it also scared her. Why did it scare her? She didn't remember, she just knew it did. And she also knew that she should have never gone and tried to comfort him after he'd lost Lissa, because he was a dangerous man that no one should ever try to go near – at least no woman that was weaker than him, no matter how much she'd known about fighting. Because, after all, a male's body is almost always stronger than a woman's. It's just how humans, dhampirs and Moroi have been built._

_He slowly pulled up her panties and rubbed one of his fingers against her clit. She finally let him take control of her body and leaned against his own. He slowly put her down on a floor gently, as though she was made out of porcelain. But she wasn't fooled – she knew he was rough when he wanted to be. And she was still scared, but still let out a moan ad he ripped her panties and pulled a finger inside of her. Her hips started moving along with his fingers, as he pushed a second one into her. He was going fast and he wouldn't stop even though she wanted him to. No matter how much she pleaded, he wouldn't stop until he gave her the very first and probably most memorable orgasm of her life. But as soon as he pushed a third finger inside of her, she no longer wanted him to stop. His thumb on her clit, he pulled down her jeans and the already useless panties, threw them behind him, and took out his soaked fingers. Still rubbing her clit with his thumb, he put his three fingers into his mouth as though to taste her. It turned her on even more, but she was disappointed that there was no longer something inside of her. He laughed at her expression, whatever it was, leaned down and put his tongue inside of her._

_She screamed and spread her legs even more then she thought possible. Her body started vibrating as soon as he started pulling in and out of her impossibly fast, driving her crazy._

"_Christian!" she screamed, and she did it again and again and again, for it felt so good, and she no longer cared that she was scared, she just wanted that orgasm, yet she was also dreading it, although she could not remember why exactly._

_He suddenly pulled his tongue out and pulled it deeper than before into her, not thrusting, but staying in her this time. He started moving it from left to right and she closed her eyes, repeating his name over and over again, but it was becoming quieter and quieter and quieter until it was barely whisper. Until…_

"_CHRIS!" she yelled the nickname and finally an indescribable feeling took possession of her and she came, feeling him taster her again._

_But it only lasted for seconds, yet it was definitely unforgettable. She wanted him to do it again, and she was sure she wanted him to use something larger than his fingers or his tongue. But it was impossible, for he laughed and stood up, looking down at her. He shook his head._

"_You're just so easy to please, aren't you? And naughty!" he laughed again and she looked at him in horror, quickly closing her legs as her mind started clearing. What had she done?_

_He laughed again, hysterically and left the room, turning off the light as she widened her eyes in search of her pants or panties. He had left her! After he had told her what he was going to do…he had left her and she had allowed him to! She hadn't stopped him!_

_She quickly found her pants and put them on commando, since her panties were beyond repair. And, quickly pulling them on, she curled up in one dark corner and began to cry quietly, all by herself._

_All by herself. _

**And...you've probably figured it out that this is a flaschback, right :) Tell me what you think :) So excited that this story is liked :)**


	9. Chapter 9

"ROSE!" someone screamed in her ear and she was brought back to life. She looked up to find herself staring into those big, blue eyes, her most favorite color. She stared at them for what felt like forever, feeling like her heart would jump out of her chest, escaping her and joining his, for her heart belonged to him. For a moment she thought of telling him that and even opened her mouth, but quickly dismissed the idea - for she was still a bit mad.

"What do _you _want?" she asked in her coldest voice ever that shook at the last word. She was starting to debate whether it was worth getting mad at someone as gorgeous as him.

He laughed at her expression, whatever it was.

"Just can't resist my good looks, can you?" he asked, with a smirk on his own face. That made her blush, but she looked at him in the eyes and decided to play a game with him. He, of course, would be expecting to be slapped. Instead, she leaned down and kissed him.

Maybe he hadn't expected a slap, maybe it had been something else. But it definitely wasn't this. Her lips crushed whatever confidence he had into pieces and left him speechless, and extremely turned on, as he kissed her back and moaned quietly as her tongue licked his bottom lip. He spread his apart and they kissed for what felt like forever, both of them now turned on and forgetting about the rest of the world. Rose truly had just meant to tease him, but it was no longer up to teasing. His hand moved underneath her shirt, right at her ribs below her breasts and stroked the skin there slowly, but she was getting so turned on it was painful. He slowly laid her down on the seats without stopping the kiss, so that Christina wouldn't see them. She moaned slowly in his lips as his hand on her ribs moved up and one of his fingers slowly went in between her breasts for barely a second, yet it felt so good. Too good. His other hand moved right in between her legs and grabbed her right where she was starting to get wet. She broke the kiss and pulled her head back, moaning with pleasure. He smiled and looked into her eyes.

"Do you really want this?" he asked, and she was surprised to find him a bit…uncertain.

Suddenly, her mind cleared and she realized just where the hell she was. Her eyes widened and she pulled him away.

"What do you think you're doing?" she whispered to him, her eyes shining with anger. His own eyes widened as he realized what she was about to do. He tried to pull away, but her hand was faster than he'd ever seen it move, even as she had killed Strigoi. He felt a sharp pain in his mind and then everything went black….

He woke up in the back of one of his limousines, with her scent all over the car…damn it! She smelled so good…he wondered, as he had quite a few times in his life, what her blood would taste like…and then he shook his head – he really had to start thinking of more than sex, sex, sex and…sex.

"What the hell?" he whispered slowly, taking in his surroundings. There was a TV in front of him with a Winnie the Pooh movie that little Christina was watching, sitting on the floor with a bowl of popcorn and a couch, on which he was standing. There also seemed to be another couch on which Rose sat and a microwave.

"Good morning, Christian." Said Rose, not looking at him.

"Morning?" he looked at the clock on his hand and damn! It said 2:30 in the morning!

"Well, I guess its afternoon for me!" he smiled and stood up, a little fast. His head spun and something fell on the floor. He looked down and saw a bag of ice that looked just about melted. And then he touched his forehead and it felt cold, yet warm. When he pulled back his hand, there was blood on his fingers.

"What did you do, take the brain out of me, then stuff it back in?" he asked, annoyed that a girl, his ex! had hit him. Was able to do something like this.

"I'm not the same as I was 3 years ago, Christian!" her brown eyes no longer showed love, just sadness. "I've learned to defend myself and pull myself away…even from the ones that I've always loved." She looked down, and he guessed that she was trying to hide her face.

He stood up, ignoring the pain in his head and walked over to her. Unfortunately she had decided to play the silent game and so she just turned away and buried her face in the couch. He tried pulling her away from the couch and closer to himself but she just shrieked. At that sound, he felt small fingers digging into his right hand, and damn it hurt!

"No hulting Mothel!" screamed little Christina in his ear.

Crap. He turned around to look at his, no…her! blue eyes that were his exact same color, but had the determination of Rose's. Great. Like Mother, like daughter.

He sighed and pulled away from Rose, catching Christina's hand before she made his own bleed.

"Baby, go and watch Winnie the Pooh and don't worry about me and Mommy, okay?"

"She's not Mommy, she's Mothel! And you hit hel befol!" His heart sank as he realized that maybe Rose shared more things with his daughter then he'd want her to.

"I won't hit her again and I promise you can kick me if you see me hurt Mother again." He blushed as he realized that he'd just said that to a two-year old.

"I won't kick you I'll hit you and I'm vely stlong!" Her hands formed into two small fists and she smiled at him. He winked at her and she giggled, going back to her movie.

At that moment he saw that Rose had been watching them and that her face was completely visible. She had tears in her eyes, but other than that, she looked okay. He pulled her away from the couch and this time she allowed him to. Wrapping his hands around her, he lifted her up and sat on the couch, her body in his lap. She buried her face in his chest and his shirt started getting wet with her tears. Her whole body shook as she sobbed quietly into his arms, his hands still wrapped around her, making circles in her back with his thumbs, not saying a word to her.

And they stood together like that, both finally realizing that maybe they _did_ love each other. Because, after all, how many couples are there in the world that don't fight at all? Maybe a couple fighting just shows how much they love and count on the other person. There's nothing perfect in this world, not really. Not even in the twisted, vampire-like world that Rose and Christian seemed to live in. Come of think, there's nothing perfect _anywhere_, for everyone's opinion of perfect is different. But as Christian and Rose stood so close to each other, they suddenly thought of perfection, both at the exact same time. It was like their feelings were getting the better of them today, and neither could control themselves, their actions…and as she looked up into his eyes, she saw love…or so she thought. Okay, so maybe it truly wasn't love. Maybe it was just want. But to be honest, who had ever thought Christian Ozera that love mattered? As long as Rose…anyone, had ever remembered, Christian had been the one without parents, with only an aunt that had gone crazy killing the queen when he'd been only fourteen. And after fourteen, he'd been left alone at campus, even during summer times, to wait for his miserable life to end. At fifteen, he'd met Lissa, but what good had it done? Sure, she'd thought him some good things about life, but she'd died two years later, and it had barely been enough time to teach him anything. And then, she herself had gotten into his somewhat of a life and had probably made it even worse, a complication he didn't need at that moment. So he'd just used her, not knowing better, worried that he might lose the only person left to care about him, yet not knowing how to show him that.

And so she decided that she would change him. True, he was too old for anything major, but she will try, and hope for the best. So, still looking into his eyes, she closed them with a finger on each of his eyelids and whispered:

"Don't move." He froze and she tried not to laugh.

But as her lips crashed onto his, she found herself feel a little…out of place. What if he truly did not know how to love and what if she couldn't teach him? What if she was just wasting her time?

But then his lips responded to hers and she knew that she shouldn't worry. For now, she had to work on accepting that maybe he had no real feelings for her yet. And then she would work her way up, creating a pyramid of the remains of his life.

She didn't let the kiss get too passionate, soon separating their lips. He growled a bit, his way of disappointment and she laughed.

"I love you." He whispered and her heart sank. Did he truly mean it? Probably not, so she shook her head.

"From now, you should only say things that you mean." She whispered to him.

He looked at her and realized that she wouldn't believe that he loved her, not that easily. It was probably his fault, since he didn't know how to show it. So instead of trying to reason with her, which was a quite impossible task, he said:

"I'm sorry for hitting you – I never meant to hurt you!" there was passion in his voice that she had heard before and it had never lead to anything good, but right now she just shrugged, ignoring it.

"I know you didn't." she placed a soft kiss on his forehead that was still bleeding and when she licked her lips, she tasted his blood. She hated to admit it, since she was a dhampir, but she kind of liked it – there was something erotic about that taste, or maybe she'd just been taught that blood between a Moroi and dhampir meant something sexual? Whatever it was, she left the blood in her mouth for a while, before swallowing.

He wrapped his hands around her and pulled her even closer than she thought possible, at least in public, and she shivered in pleasure.

"I guess I'm sorry for making you unconscious." she said and felt his chest rumble as he chuckled and whispered something in Russian.

It was at that moment that both of them realized that they had stopped fighting and had made up. And they both felt the heavy lump in their throat disappear, although, come to think of it, that was the very first time that they realized that they had carried it. They kept quiet for quite a while, the only sound in the car was the Winnie the Pooh movie and Christina's cute laughter as the Heffalump did something that excited her. Soon, they felt the car stop and Rose stood up, going for Christina. But before she picked up her daughter she turned and looked at him.

"Just promise me that if I ever leave you won't follow me."

**I'm hoping for Reviews and hey, are you happy that Rose and Christian made up?**


	10. Chapter 10

**So sorry I didn't post yesterday like I was supposed to...I suddenly got real sick really early in the morning and couldn't get out of bed...I'll make it up to you by posting the next chapter in three days instead of four :)**

They soon ended up right where he felt they should have been at form the beginning – a mansion that looked almost as big as 's academy, a very pretty house, or…Christian's home.

"How did you afford this?" asked Rose, her eyes widening as he took her out of the car and they finally ended up on the surprise place.

"Didn't. I inherited it." He answered simply, without going into details. She raised an eyebrow.

"How would someone like you inherit something like...this?" She pointed at the house.

"You know, my parents were actually pretty well before they…" he didn't finish the sentence and she immediately regretted what she'd said earlier.

She shook her head and turned around in time to see Christina try to get out of the car. Her legs seemed too short, though and she immediately fell out of the car on her back. Her eyes filled with tears and for a second she looked desperate, but then she suddenly laughed and quickly stood up, not even looking at her scraped knees. She ran to the house without looking back and kept on falling, yet Rose found this extremely cute. How so, she wasn't sure, but the fact that their daughter seemed so confident and didn't see anything wrong with the place made Rose sure that it was safe. Of course, she also trusted things that shouldn't be trusted, but this time Rose had a good feeling about it.

Christian seemed as eager as his daughter, but he tried to hide it from Rose. Little did he know that that was a lost cause. She followed him as he ran to their daughter and lifted her up. The smile that came to her face, exposing her baby teeth made Rose feel a little jealous – she had never brought that smile to her daughter, Christina had never seemed so…amused. Thinking like it was a game. She was always serious and sometimes acting way older than her 2 years when she was with her mother. But…she seemed happy, so Rose decided to ignore her selfish self. She soon reached the two of them, and Christina pulled her hands out, screaming:

"Mothel!" and then, before Christian or Rose knew what was going on, she pulled one of her father's hands and one of her mother's and connected them, giggling like only a two-year old could. Rose and Christian stared at her, and then their eyes met, blue and brown. She had forgiven him, but he knew that his closeness still caused her pain, so he slowly looked at Christina and shook his head delicately, pulling his hand out of hers.

"Mother isn't ready, sweetie." He said to his daughter and then unlocked the door to his house.

Rose stepped in after them, but even before she could take a look of the house inside, she knew that it was something huge, for Christina was speechless, and that didn't happen very often. And then she went into the house and the door closing quietly behind her was the only sound for what felt like forever.

It wasn't what she had expected. But to be honest, she wasn't sure exactly what she expected – golden floors, golden ceiling, golden…everything. She should have known it wasn't going to be that obvious.

But oh, it was beautiful just the same! And she definitely wasn't disappointed. It wasn't like anything she'd ever seen, or so she thought. As she looked around, she felt something similar very close-by. It took her a moment to realize it, but she finally figured out. It was just like in her imagination….

"_What are you doing?" she asked, a little afraid of what he might say._

"_I'm leaving!" he said, not yelling, yet his voice was so cold it scared her._

"_Leaving where?" she asked and he stopped. He turned around from his luggage, with a pair of boxers in one hand, staring at her. It wasn't exactly what he thought she would say._

"_What are you saying?" he answered her question with one of his own._

_She shrugged, but didn't move closer._

"_Well, it's not like I could stop you if you want to leave so much, so why not ask about your next home? I'm kind of curious, you know." There was a sparkle in her eyes that he had come to appreciate. It was exactly what she'd tried doing – cheer him up._

_And so he laughed and put his boxers in his bag, looking at her intensely._

"_You know…you can come too, if you'd like." He suddenly felt shy like never before. Realizing that he actually __**wanted**__ her with him. "If I leave, I would never be able to get a guardian. And besides…" he stopped himself and she wondered what he would have said. But he shook his head and just stared at her. _

_How could she resist those blue eyes? How could __**anyone**__ resist those eyes, with that sexy smile forming on his lips? But she sighed, knowing that she was going to regret the answer she had for him._

"_I…can't, Chris." She sighed and looked at him, her eyes pleading. He sighed as well, knowing he couldn't expect her to accept. She was a guardian, after all. She could tell that he wanted to yell at her, to tell her that she was an idiot for choosing duty over love, bur he was smarter than that. She knew he didn't love her, so what was the point of going with him?_

_Just like she'd surprised him earlier, he surprised her now._

"_Where?" he asked quietly, and she wasn't even sure that she'd heard him. Or that she was supposed to hear him say it._

"_Sorry?" she asked, not knowing what else to say._

"_Where would you go if you had a choice? In the world?" he paused, clearly thinking about how he would form his next words. "What would you do with your life if…if you could…you know…"_

"_Not be a guardian?" she asked and he nodded, laughing nervously._

_She sighed again. It wasn't like she had never thought about such an option, but she knew it would disgrace the remains of her family forever._

"_If I was free to do whatever I wanted to…" she began, and for a moment she seemed at a loss of words. But she soon recovered by finishing: "I would draw."_

_Suddenly it got quiet, neither of them saying a word, just staring at each other, crystal into chocolate._

"_You would…draw?" said Christian finally, unable to believe what she'd just told him._

_She nodded and they both laughed, a little uncomfortably. He, since he wasn't sure she was serious or mocking him, and she because she was ashamed, since she'd never told anyone about her passion._

_She slowly unzipped the backpack she had on her bag, and after going through a dozen school stuff, she finally pulled out a tiny pencil and a crumpled piece of paper. She smoothed it a bit and, curiosity getting the better of him, he moved next to her. _

_She hesitated for a minute, not sure that this was safe, but she shook her head. It was her; there wasn't anything wrong with that._

_She slowly put the pencil in her right hand and the piece of paper underneath a hard book on her lap and then her pencil started moving, first slowly and hesitantly, and then faster, more confident on the paper._

_Had she seen his face, she probably would have stopped drawing right away, but it was like he was no longer next to her. She drew as though her life depended on it, she drew for him, for her, for her passion, and for Lissa that she would forever miss…she drew her dreams._

_It was a room. It wasn't very large, but it was unique. The styles, they were all different, on every wall – spring on one, with the flowers still so small that you could barely see them, and little children running around, with their parents not sure whether it was warm enough for the small ones to play in. Summer was peeking out on another wall, its sun was scorching even though it was just a drawing, and the children no longer wore jackets, instead they were screaming happily and playing in the grass, and then screaming in surprise as it started sprinkling. Fall was entering on the next wall, with the trees already half bare, and the children walking, running, chasing, and even rolling in the leaves, and the parents slowly walking in pairs, staring in wonder at the different colors the season had brought. Winter was on the last of the four walls, and the chilly air hung around the little kids like a tornado, embracing them, as though to protect them. Snowmen were stationed everywhere, one holding a broom, another a stick that would otherwise have been forgotten by everyone else, and left to rot in the back of bush…._

_Neither of them knew how long they stood there, but as she finished, she couldn't help but feel proud, for even she, as the author, could feel the picture's content, although it had neither reality, nor colors in it. _

_She felt his lips brush against the back of her neck and he gently bit her ear and whispered:_

"_It's beautiful."_

"_Thank you." She whispered back, surprised that even he, who was very uneducated when it came to art could appreciate this._

_As she stood up, he had a weird look on his face – wonder. Or was it uneasiness? She wasn't sure, but she decided to ignore it, acting like her own cocky self._

"_I'll bet you you'll forget it about 5 minutes after you see how much sexier the reality is." She winked at him. "Women aren't as covered in reality as they are in this piece of crap, you know."_

"_Probably." He answered, still looking a bit dazed. "But it isn't a piece of crap. I would forget it though…unless…" he stopped, looking very embarrassed._

"_Unless what?" she wasn't sure what he meant, but she was suddenly flushing with delight._

"_Will you give me the picture?" he asked quietly and held out his hand. She looked at him as though he was crazy, and then looked into his eyes. Nope, he wasn't joking. But there was a plea in his eyes. Finally giving up, she put the crumpled piece of paper into his hand and it shook as he took it. He put it into a pocket, and then left the room, without taking any of his things._

This was it! She could see spring on the first wall, summer on the second, fall on third, and winter on the fourth…it was all so unbelievable, but it was a reality.

He had used her picture for the room, making a complete replica of it.

"This time it's reality, Ro." She heard Christian say, using her old nickname that she hadn't heard in a while. "And yes, as much as I hate to admit it that also means that the women on my walls aren't naked, which kinda…"

Before he could finish the sentence, she ran up to him, and her lips found his. The kiss was pure, and neither of them was sure if it was love or not. But they knew that it was something. And they were both excited about their new discovery.

They had taken a small step towards becoming a family.

Reviews...hopefully :D


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello, what's up! Hey, listen...I've 15 followers! 15! How is it that I get only two reviews :( I really want to hear your opinion on things, because you might suggest that I change something and I might :) Please Review! :D **

That night was the first night they spent as a family, doing something that was so out of the ordinary: watching a movie.

Rose put in the last movie Christian ever expected: Twilight. She giggled at his expression, but it was too late when she realized the movie was not really appropriate for a 2 year old. To her surprise, as James, Victoria and Loran killed the fisherman, she started laughing out loud.

"It's fake, Mothel." Rose was quite impressed, but then she had to admit – vampires were different in reality.

They kept silent until Bella and Edward went into the woods and he went into the sunlight, taking his shirt off.

"Do _you_ sparkle in the sun?" asked Rose, turning towards Christian, who frowned.

"Nope. But I _am _hotter than him – and it has more than one meaning." She slowly touched his hand, glad that it wasn't ice-cold like the fictional Mayer character.

"Wouldn't that make me hotter too?" she whispered in his ear in her "bedroom" voice, making sure their daughter didn't hear them.

"It depends – but you're stuck in some shitty half-vamp half-weak creature, so…" he didn't get to finish, since Rose moved quickly, his pillow disappeared from behind him and she quickly pulled it to his mouth to shut him up.

They finished the movie, and then it was time for Christina to go to bed.

"You know, now it's time for me to put her to bed like I usually do." Christian nodded and followed her out of curiosity as she lifted up their daughter and headed for what she thought was the bedroom.

Their apartment 3 years ago had been quiet different, and she ended up in the toilet.

"Do I get to sleep in the bathtub, Mothel?" Surprisingly, Christina looked excited at the thought.

"Mother and I might use it for something you might not want to see…" Christian quickly shut up as Rose's eyes widened.

"Are you going to play Monopoly? 'Cause I hate that game –too many numbels." Christian made a face.

"We'll surely play, but not that game exactly."

Rose rolled her eyes and as they finally got into the right room, she quickly smiled at him, her way of saying "Thank you for the baby room". After pulling the covers over her daughter, Christina quickly hid under the covers and only a couple black curls could be seen.

"Good night, Daddy." She whispered before suddenly becoming still and not saying a word.

Christian raised his eyebrows, and as Rose closed the door, he couldn't help but ask:

"No song? No fairytale?"

Rose shrugged.

"She didn't like me singing since she's been nine months old, and as for the reading, I never tried it." She turned to him. "And what game exactly have you got?"

"One that involves cuffs and a comfortable place."

"That's great, once I have the key to the cuffs I assure you I'll swallow them and leave you on the bed, hanging…hoping…"

He laughed.

"Actually, the cuffs aren't necessary, it was just a joke…and no, I'm not talking about a bed, but the bathtub."

Rose raised her eyebrows.

"I'm not giving you a lap dance in the bathtub." She quickly said and he laughed.

"We'll see…but I'm sure you feel as dirty as I do…"

"I'm NOT going with you in there." She shook her head quietly and he laughed again, shrugging.

"Your loss." To her surprise, he quickly unbuttoned his shirt right there, and dropping it quietly on the floor, started heading for the bathroom, unbuttoning his jeans.

Shit. He definitely looked attractive without his shirt on. She shook her head, trying to clear it and headed for the first floor and the kitchen, where she often went when she was sexually…excited. Chocolate usually calmed her down.

Once she got her hands to the freezer, she pulled out two types of ice-cream, a frozen chocolate cake and then, after looking in the fridge, she pulled out a huge Hershey bar. She ate half of all the ice cream, and put it back, thinking it was finally done – she no longer felt like sex was important.

And then he came in, whistling. And that did it.

Not wearing anything, Christian smiled at her and quickly brushed his finger over her lips, licking it afterwards.

"That ice cream's good, isn't it? You know, I have another one in the freezer, long and fat and sweet. That is, unless you don't want to eat it?" he winked at her.

"There's something else that's long and fat and sweet that I want to eat right now." She thought, looking at what was once considered a pretty decent dick, but was now the missing chocolate syrup on her ice-cream.

"No?" continued Christian when she didn't answer. "Well, before I go, have you seen my towel?" He jumped up and smiled at her. "There it is, right behind you." He quickly went past her, and then turned his back on her, giving her a perfect view of his ass. She gulped quietly and started searching around the drawers. Nothing. She sighed in frustration.

"Well, see ya." He turned around. He hadn't put the towel around himself and was standing there, naked again. How did she end up with a naked man in the kitchen when she'd thought of having a peaceful night, watching a cheesy romance? How?

"Sleep tight, Rose…if you can…" he called out and she could tell just by his voice that he was flirting again.

As soon as she was gone, she quickly turned around and swallowed, wiping her mouth when she was realized that she'd been drooling. Great. Just great, Rose. Your mother is out there, trying to kill Strigoi and protecting Moroi, while you're in here, trying to kill your horny thoughts, protecting your own self from becoming a respectful guardian.

DAMN IT! It wasn't in that drawer either. Not in that one either. Where the _hell_ did he keep it? She knew he always kept a bottle or two.

Opening what felt like the 500th drawer, she finally found an unopened bottle of vodka and smiled. Perfect.

She found a small glass quickly, and, desperate for the vodka, opened the bottle with her nails instead of using a bottle opener. She quickly poured herself a glass that started overflowing pretty soon, but, ignoring the mess she'd just made, she drank the cup on one breath and left for the living room with the glass and bottle in her hands. Trying to distract herself, she turned on the huge plasma TV and flipped to a random channel.

There he was, way bigger than he usually was, with drops of water running down his body, and his Mr. Happy hanging down, looking very lonely and miserable.

She quickly re-opened the bottle and poured herself another glass, drinking it even faster the first one, if that was possible.

He had put cameras in the bathroom. Cameras. And if that wasn't the worst of it, the shower was now exactly in between his legs, and then it stopped, his hand reaching for who knows what, maybe a ring to wrap around his dick so he can drive her even crazier. Nope, only in her dreams. When his hand came back in view, he was holding a bottle of soap. He poured some in his hand while his other one disappeared again and reappeared without the bottle. Without any warning, he wrapped his hand around his pride, putting soap on it, and then let go, going down to the inside of his thighs.

She re-opened the bottle and there went another glass. The cap fell somewhere between the couch's cushions but fuck it. It's not like she needed it.

He ran his hands up and down his thighs, only to have them go back to his dick. And there went another glass. And another when he started stroking himself, moaning.

She suddenly felt very tired. As he started moaning at his touch, the bottle fell down on the floor, although nothing spilled and then the glass followed, shattering…then everything became dark…

She woke up, realizing that there was something wrong, but not caring, not even checking to see what there was. But she knew she wanted to go to the bathroom.

She quickly got up and fell down, giggling. As soon as she got up, she shook her head. When did the couch get a double? Whatever. She giggled again and started heading up the stairs-the double stairs. Took her what seemed like forever to get up there, but she finally did. And when she went to the bathroom, there was…him. Relaxing in the tub filled with bubbles, drinking some red wine, obviously enjoying him. He looked up as soon as she got in and she smiled at him.

"Aren't you the sexy one." She whispered and licked her lips, quietly closing the door behind her.

"Rose?" he looked at her quizzically.

"I'm pretty, aren't I? Don't you think I'm pretty?"

"You're more than that." He said, his eyes filled with lust, which turned her on oh so much.

"And a good kisser, right? You know, I'm a lesbian. You know that, right? A big one. One with big…boobs and all the girls like me. And I once made out with Stan to get a good grade and turned out it was Lissa. I was happy then. I'm happy now, don't you think?" she as blabbering but she couldn't stop herself, and damn it! It was funny to act like you're 5.

"Rose…what did you do downstairs?"

"You have a big dick. I saw that on the camera." She laughed and hiccupped. "Then there was the vodka…and it got empty…"

"How? I swear it wasn't even opened when…" He gasped and suddenly stood up in the tub, spraying water everywhere. "You drank the whole thing, didn't you?"

She nodded.

"And I'm all happy now. I am. Aren't you happy too?"

"Yes Rose, that's nice." He said, trying to grab a towel, but she pulled it away from him.

"You're sexy that way, stay like that!" she moaned when he shook his head and wrapped a towel around his ass, then grabbed another one and started drying his hair.

She giggled and hiccupped then she locked the door and took off her shirt quickly.

"Ooh, do me…." She sang and laughed when her voice cracked. And then she started the yelling. "I'm so fucking happy! We're all a big fucked-up happy family and you need to fuck me now or…or I'll start crying."

"Rose…do me a favor and shut up, you're talking nonsense."

"I don't care! Just fuck me and make sure I scream. If you don't want me I'll make you want me." She stepped forward and quickly put her hand in between his legs. He gasped and moaned as she started massaging the already horny man.

"You like that, don't you?" she leaned closer to him and he coughed at the smell of her breath, which turned to a moan as she took away her towel and just started rubbing him.

"No…you…I…" he moaned again. "Fuck, that's good."

"You know you want it, so why bother to stop me?" that's all she said and then she went down on her knees and swallowed him completely, without even going slowly. He moaned loudly and his hands were suddenly in her hair, so suddenly that she gasped. His nails dug slowly and she moaned at how rough he was playing. But it was okay. She was playing rough too, and she saw double, but a double of Christian Ozera's dick was perfectly fine by her. Which girl wouldn't want that?

She kept on sucking, biting him, and then just licking, one of her hands holding his dick, the other one going up and down his chest.

"I'm…close…" he whimpered and she smiled while still sucking on him. He'd never whimpered for her before.

It occurred to her then that he was coming rather fast and that he was already hard when she touched him. She suddenly remembered that she'd seen him masturbating earlier before. How long exactly had he done that and he truly stopped?

"ROSE!" he screamed as he came and she stood up, her hand still on him, laughing.

"You might wake up our daughter, _dear_ Christian. My precious, _horny_ Chris." She suddenly thought of something, and idea that seemed just perfectly fine for now. "Why don't you take me to your bedroom and fuck me now, huh? Make another kid, how about that? Or you can just take me right here, I honestly wouldn't mind."

He shook his head, still not completely over his orgasm and smiled at her.

"You know it's not really a great idea to turn me on like that. I used to be quiet the sex machine before."

"Oh I _know_." She purred, using her bedroom voice that she'd used on him. "Can you show me how rough you can play it, tiger?"

He laughed nervously and leaned to pull up the towel. He tied it around his waist and turned back up to look at her.

"Not when you're drunk I'm not. How about we wait until tomorrow and then I can take you all over the house if you want me to?"

"But I want you _now_!" She whimpered and stuck her lower lip out, her eyes widening, pleading. When he shook his head she let out an exasperated sigh. "For fuck's sake, you get me all horny and drunk, and then you're not even going to take advantage of me?"

His eyes darkened and he suddenly pressed her against the wall.

"Don't _ever_ say that again. I'm _not_ 18 years old anymore. I would _never_ take advantage of you ever again. Do you understand me?"

She giggled, thinking that it was scary when he was mad, but he also looked extremely hot.

He pressed her against the wall harder, so it actually hurt.

"_Do you understand?_" He asked, his voice getting ice-cold.

"Yes…" she whispered, knowing she should be scared, but not being able to be. She couldn't be anything but happy just now.

As soon as he let go of her, she stripped off of her jeans and stood there in front of him in her bra and panties.

"Let's play, shall we? I mean, you _did_ tell Christina we would play in the bathtub, remember? Although it might be a little uncomfortable."

An unusual expression appeared on his face, almost like a regret that he'd gotten mad at her. If possible, though, it disappeared even faster than it came. He smiled at her.

"I think we should get you to bed right now."

"Ooh, kinky. Are you going to use the cuffs you mentioned earlier?" she licked her lips seductively.

He smiled.

"Maybe – to keep your hands _off_ of me."

She giggled for the who-knows-which time and ran her hand through his chest, stopping at his stomach. His breath caught and his eyes darkened, becoming the bedroom ones that she'd come to love and now, but usually also feared.

"Once I get started, you won't want to get me cuffed, baby."

He pulled her hand away and slowly picked her up, sighing.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked, not really caring. As long as she made sure she got his sack in her, she was perfectly fine with whatever.

"To bed."

"Awesome!" she squealed happily. She held on to him, and when he opened the bedroom door, she smiled expectantly. He closed it behind them and locked it, which was quite exciting at the moment.

"Now what, wild boy?" she winked at him, but he shook his head. Moving to the bed, he put her in it, wrapping the covers around her.

"And _stay there_." He commanded and she didn't move. She couldn't really see in the dark, but when her eyes adjusted, she realized he was opening something and taking something out of that something, and then he put it on. A condom? She hoped.

He slid under the covers and hugged her. She quickly went right on top of him and started kissing his chest, soon realizing what he had put on. Boxers. She groaned at the wall that was separating her hands and his pride.

"Nope, not tonight, babe." He shook his head and she sighed, finally giving up. Getting as close to him as she could, she rested her head on his muscular hand and soon found herself going into La La Land, like she always did whenever she got drunk.


	12. Chapter 12

**Just one thing - hey, thanks for reading and...italics are for Christian's thoughts. Mone is also pronounced like the word "moan"...you'll see later on why ;)**

She'd always heard of how when people woke up after being drunk, they felt like they wanted to shoot themselves.

She now knew it was true.

Her mind was awake, yet her eyes refused to open up due to the light she could feel through her eyelids. Yet she had to wake up, it was a new day. She slowly lifted her eyelids, looking through her eyelashes and then being brave enough to truly open her eyes.

"Ow!" she moaned unhappily and quickly hid her face under the blankets. She felt a hand wrap around her and a soft kiss was placed on her forehead.

"Rose?" Who did that voice belong to? She'd heard it before…yet her head was pounding so hard that she felt like she wouldn't be able to recognize her own voice. Yet her mind seemed to know.

"Sparky?" she felt his body rumble as he recognized one of his high-school nicknames. He hadn't heard it in forever, but it felt nice.

"Yes?

"Have you ever felt like…shit is a synonym to your future?"

He laughed and held her closer to himself. She decided to take advantage of his kind side and let herself be babied.

"Life can be tough, huh?" Especially when you wake up, not thinking about the day before. Speaking of which…

"What happened yesterday?" she asked and got a bit worried as his face darkened quite a bit at that.

"You mean you don't remember?" Why did his face look so hopeful? How bad could the situation be?

"What happened, Christian?" she forced herself to stand up and look him in the eye, ignoring the shit of a pain she felt as she did that small thing.

"Well…I don't think it would be a good thing for our relationship if you remembered what happened." Was his answer.

She looked at him for a minute, dumb-founded and blinked.

"That's a hell of an explanation. What kind of an answer is that?" she couldn't help but ask.

"A philosophical one." He answered matter-of-fact.

"You don't even know what that means!" she protested.

"Maybe I don't…but I still love you."

"Oh really…is that why you forced me to punch you yesterday?" she joked with him.

"That was an accident! I was honestly testing waters to see how much I could push you!"

She laughed. Sometimes Sparky had a weird logic, but hey…he was her Spark.

She looked into his eyes, ignoring the pain and tried to show her love through just that one look. It must have worked, for he looked back at her with just as much love. Yes, there was some lust in there, but as Rose had learned, that wasn't such a bad thing now, was it?

So she kissed him, she did that one simple thing that two lovers do when falling in love, connecting part of their bodies together, yet not being completely in sync. It was the beginning of a relationship that was different, "waters", like Christian called it, that had not been tested simply because such an option had never truly existed. It was love that had brought them together, not sadness or lust like before. They kissed by instinct, and by simply wanting to be closer, without expecting too much of the other. As Christian deepened the kiss, though, Rose felt like it was time to stop him.

"Hey…I want to take it slow, okay?" Christian nodded, and although she could see it pained him to do so and that he was disappointed, she knew that there would be no sex between Pyro and Badass today.

So they got up and looked into each other's eyes, each thinking of the other one. What would happen now? Would they be back together to what was before? Definitely not, although there was a temptation for that, what they had currently was…

"What do we have, Christian?" Rose asked, staring at him so intensely, that he couldn't take it anymore: he looked away.

"I don't…I don't understand what you mean." He replied unhappily. This was the last thing he wanted to discuss today.

"Are we dating, are we fuck-buddies…" it pained her to say the last two words, they reminded her of the past…

"Why don't we find out?" he smirked at her and she resisted the urge to throw something at him, teasingly, of course.

"How?" she asked doubtfully.

"Well, apart from the obvious, being animal sex, I suggest something….crazy?"

She wondered what he meant and she wasn't sure she was going to like it.

"I knew that when I thought you nuts I was right!" she yelled at him and he laughed, letting the piece he was holding fall to the ground.

"I thought you were always up for surprises, darling!" she frowned and he laughed even harder. Little Christina joined his laughter, although she probably didn't understand why they were laughing to begin with.

"Not…not one like this! What's wrong with you! A picnic…in the moonlight?"

"Yup…isn't that romantic?"

She had to admit, it was very romantic. The stars were shining and his skin looked very pale. For once, he looked…like a vampire. She did wish they were alone, though…one look at her daughter told her that that was going to be next to impossible. The little girl had wrapped herself around her father's foot and he was carrying her around. At one point of time, he lifted her up and put her on his arms and she wrapped her small fingers around his head, giggling happily. Rose couldn't help but smile: how many men would realize they have a daughter that they never planned and manage to accept it so fast? She didn't know of many. As Christian finally managed to spread the blanket on the grass, he handed her a basket filled with food and she curiously opened it up. Inside was everything a Rose Hathaway would want, which included a box filled with pepperoni pizza, coke, some very expensive-looking wine that she'd never seen before, condoms, napkins…

Wait, wait…what the…? Was he serious? Condoms?

"Mothel, what is that?" Christina had somehow gotten back on the grass and was now holding the box of condoms.

Rose looked at her, not knowing what to do. Should she feel mortified, or should she give in to the urge to…laugh?

"It's your Dad's, ask him." She smiled kindly. Damn, she could be a bitch sometimes.

"Daddy, what is that?" Christian was finally done with putting together the tent. Even though Rose could have done it faster, he insisted that he do it. His daughter called him and he turned around.

She was holding a...a…

SHIT!

"Um…um…that's,um…" He looked behind his daughter to Rose, who was laughing quietly at him. "It's, an…"

Now what was he supposed to do? He already knew his cheeks were bright red, but now his whole face reddened as Christina opened the box and two condoms fell onto the grass. She reached to get them and he felt a couple drops of sweat onto his forehead.

"It's GUM!" he yelled before she could open up the condom itself. "It's a very expensive gum that is only for adults!"

Rose couldn't help but giggle at his expression as Christina left the "gum" and went to play in the grass. When she was sure that their daughter was far away, she went next to him.

"Remind me again why I haven't tried to get rid of you yet?" she asked him, playfully nudging him in the ribs.

"Probably because you love me." was his answer.

She froze and stared at him in shock. He stared back, completely serious.

" Look..." he sighed and forced himself to look into her chocolate eyes that were now completely wide and staring back at him in fear. "I know...that all I did to you was unforgivable, but I can't help but fall in love for you. For real. You probably wouldn't believe me, but...how cansomeone not love you?"

By the time he'd finished his "speech" her eyes were teary, but she tried to hide it.

"You done being the hopeless romantic?" she asked teasingly and he nodded, visibly more relaxed.

"I guess romance dude isn't really my style."

"Maybe that's because you're not being honest." she winked at him. "I don't need you to pretend for me, Christian. You already did that a long time ago and I don't even want to remember what happened. I want you to be your real self without hurting everyone else around you. Can you do that for me? Because once that happens, I'm sure we can handle anything else. Until then..." she winked at him again, went to get Christina and then started walking back towards the house.

Christian waited until she was out of sight and opened his mouth to yell as loud as he could:

"SHIT!"

To think that this was supposed to be a romantic getaway from reality...

Christian was just about to get back inside when a car parked right in front of his house. A red porsche. A _very_ famliar porsche...NO!

As soon as the owner got out of the porsche, Christian ran up to her and put a fake smile on his face.

"CHRISSIE!" yelled the fake blonde and ran up to him, squeezing the air out of him while her huge silicon lips were forming a giggle that was about as real as the two watermelons that looked like they were about to pop out of the shirt she was wearing...a see-through shirt.

"Hey, um...nice to see you!" he lied quickly, trying to think of a way to get rid of her. "Look, Mone, this really isn't the right time, can I..."

"It's so nice to see you, you big love machine!" yelled Mone and smiled at him.

"Um...yeah, sure." _I can't wait to be rid of you._

"So how are things? You miss me yet?" she squeezed him even more and her big lips planted a peck on his neck before he could stop her. "No one to bang the bed against the wall with, is there, Chrissie?"

_If you call me that bitch of a nickname again, I swear I'll show you those cool fangs you've read stories about._

"Actually, um...I'm currently with someone and..."

"OH, Chrissie, you naughty boy!" That annoying giggle again! "Shall I join you guys? I know you used to loce threesomes."

_Hell no, especially not with you! _

"Well, um...actually, we're kind of..."

"CHRISSIE!" She yelled in his ear again and he winced, wondering whether he could find the vibrator that she'd left at his house a while back, so he could stick it somewhere. Honestly, this girl was driving him insane. "Oh, Momma's home!"

Great. Now she'd seen it.

"You didn't tell me you completely changed the house! Man, it fits you even more now! DARLING!" There goes another squeeze.

"MONE!" he finally yelled and she giggled, looking at him expectantly. "Exactly, what...what are you doing here?

"Ooh, I just got back from Montana! That school you went to...St. Vladir or something..."

"Vladimir..." that was said through clenched teeth as he clearly didn't want her here, and she clearly couldn't realize that.

"I did say that, Chrissie! Don't interrupt me, I never do that to you, so why do you do it to me? Anyways, that school is totally the shit now! It's about to fall apart! But I did like the mentor they gave...don't even know his whole name, but his first name is like...Dimi or something. Belikov, that's it! Man, that man is like a rotten egg! Won't even let me blow him! Keeps talking about some girl named Rose that left him for a Moroi named Christian. Of course if couldn't be you, baby! I know you wouldn't go for some cheep shit like that! Anyways, I still managed to hook up with that idiot, Stan...he ain't a good teacher, but damn is he good in...!"

"That's wonderful!" yelled Christian._ I didn't need to know that!_

"Sopt unterrupting me, Chrssie! I know you love talking about the s-e-x." she winked at him. "I sure know you're currently very good in bed, darling!"

"How would you know that?" when was the last time they'd...well...been together? He couldn't remember, so it couldn't have been in the past couple months.

"Yes, _my dear Mone_, how would you know that?" came a cold, dangerously sweet voice from the house. Christian looked up an gulped.

The main door was open and at the footsteps stood a very mad-looking Rose.


	13. Chapter 13

**HUGE thanks to Hurt, Evanescence and Morandi, they totally inspirred me for this chapter, the calming music kept me writing and writing until I was finally satisfied :) As always, italics are for the flashback and thoughts :) Enjoy!**

"So...how did you guys meet?" asked Rose unhappily, trying to hide how dissapointed she felt.

Mone thought for a minute.

"He was back at his old school to ask my mentor, Belikov, to be his guardian. When I met up with him, he told me his guardian was his lover, but she'd left a couple weeks ago to go do her own thing."

Rose felt her cheeks redden with anger. How dare he describe it that way? What an idiot.

"And...what exactly are you two?" Friends, right? Just friends.

"I guess you can say we're friends..." she winked at Rose.

Rose sighed. No point in trying to figure out what that meant, she didn't want to know anyway.

She didn't know what to think of this girl to begin with. Where had she come from? Old St. Vlad's apparently, but how was she connected to Dimitri?

Rose sighed as she thought about Dimitri. He'd been an...let's just say, a painful past. He'd sworn that he loved her and they'd kissed more than once, she'd even ended in his bed once, to realize that this was the last thing she'd wanted. She still remembered what it was like that night...

_"Darling, come back to bed..."_

_"NO! Leave me alone! Please!"_

_"I want you..."_

_All of these words went through her head as she kept on runnning, not knowing where she was going or what she was going to do. Her head was pounding and her vision was blurry thanks to the tears that quickly fell down her cheeks, her wet face already becoming a deep red. She couldn't think, couldn't speak, couldn't hear...couldn't breathe..._

_She quickly realized where she was, but it was too late to turn back now. Her brown locks were covering most of her face, stuck to it like glue, so she couldn't see much, but she still recognized everything: the bare walls, the diry floor, and the broken furniture..._

_A sob came out from behind her and she quickly turned around, scared that someone would catch her crying...she couldn't have that, so whoever was there was going to pay. _

_But...that figure was crying also, for the first sob was followed by a second, third, fourth...the figure had its back bended, its arms wrapped around the body that shook so uncontrollably, it was like it was freezing to death. There were no lights, and for a minute she felt her breath stop in midair at the thought that it was Lissa, her best friend, and that she was just seeing her ghost...but no, it couldn't be...Lissa was long dead, killed in that horrible car accident...and Rose no longer was shadow-kissed, so how could she see that ghost?_

_The figure then moved, as if to stretch, but it almost immediately went back to its old position. So it wasn't a ghost, for a ghost wouldn't move so...naturally...live-like...the figure, Rose suddenly realized, was male._

_A spark of light suddenly burst out from the male's corner, a shining fireball that dissapearred as quickly as it had come. It was enough to make Rose jump. And enough to see the boy's body shake as he laughed, running his hands through his black hair. Suddenly, they were in darkness again._

_Suddenly it came again. The spark. Over and over, the boy kept on playing with the fireballs, letting them flly softly around him, the color of his hair a remindment of death and how easily its power could take away even the strongest from the weakest, take away a father from a child, a lover from a friend, everyone..._

_The boy kept on playinig with his fireballs, never turning around to look at Rose, although, of course he was a Moroi, which meant he'd heard her footsteps long before she'd heard them herself as she entered the attic...yet he kept on ignoring her, simply playing with his toys, letting them go through his hand and burn his skin, before he extinguished them to let his white, unharmed hand come out from underneath. He kept on doing that over and over, for the physical pain, even if only imaginary, could numb the emotional one and simply make him succumb to his miseries..._

_Rose could no longer take it anymore. She couldn't bear to watch him close himself in here until his life ended completely. So she spoke, only one word, in a very uncertain voice:_

_"Christian?"_

_He didn't say a word and she felt very discouraged. She turned around to leave, but her small feet had barely had a chance to take one loud step, before a cold,psychotic laughter froze her in one place._

_"Hello, Rose." he said and laughed again, no humor in his voice._

_She swallowed and softly turned around._

_"Hello, Christian."_

_They were silent once more and she wondered whether she'd imagined his response when he laughed that scary laugh again. She couldn't have imagined that._

_"I find something very appealing in a man becoming a psychopath, don't you, Rose?" he said, not turning around to look at her. "It's almost psychotic when a man wastes himself after losing his lover. Yet that's exactly what I'm doing now, Rose."_

_She didn't know what to say, she wasn't used to this dark Christian that seemed to have gone from creepy, to wild, to sarcastic, and now had turned into a numb body, like an egg with no baby inside, an empty shell..._

_"Christian, I don't...I don't know what to..."_

_"It pains me!" he yelled, suddenly turning towards her. "It pains me to sit here and just stand and do nothing, knowing my life is over, yet seeing everyone else keep on going on with theirs!"_

_She was shocked by how his face appeared. Even in the darkness, she could still see his face was as red as hers, his hands pale, his blue eyes shining in the dark like diamonds, filled with tears as he stared at her, destroying every single piece of confidence she's been able to regain after Dimitri._

_"How could you, Rose? How could you keep on going when you know she's gone and that she's never coming back!" The tears started falling, he could no longer control them, so he just started crying, a sob escaping from his lips, no matter how hard he tried to keep it in. "You of all people knew how different she was, how special! And you just keep on going on with your damned life as though nothing's happened! WHY?!"_

_She felt her own tears fall down her cheeks as she tried to reason with him, knowing deep down inside that she never would. Not about this._

_"Christian,I can't stand still and do nothing! I have a life and..."_

_"A LIFE!" he screamed as loud as he could. " WHAT LIFE HAVE YOU HAD?! LISSA WAS YOUR LIFE, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT HER AND NOW SHE'S DEAD!" the tears on his cheeks were now way more, starting to fall onto his shirt, soaking his collar. _

_Rose flinched at his words, ready for him to keep on yelling at her, keep throwing the truth in her face, a truth she'd been hiding. _

_He didn't do that._

_He now started sobbing even harder, his whole body shaking even worse than before, tears falling from his eyes as his legs shook and gave in. He fell to the floor, curling up into a ball, now really crying, not caring what Rose thought of him now._

_He stayed down for a couple minutes, before his sobs stopped. The shaking was still there, but Rose felt like he was now better, relaxing a bit. He was going to be okay._

_It was then that he lifted his head and looked into her eyes that she froze at the sight of him. He was not going to be okay._

_As his mouth opened, his voice was barely a whisper, and so broken, like a man who found no meaning in life, that Rose started crying as much as him._

_"I have lost everyone I've ever loved. Mom and Dad left me, and now Lissa's gone...I have nothing left...and no one..."_

_He stared at her, pleading her to do something, or to at least leave him alone._

_It was as if a mother's intuition had finally kicked in Rose and she knelt next to him and wrapped her arms around him, letting his whole body rest on hers. She looked at him for a minute, then used one of her hands to close his right eye. Then his left one._

_And then her lips connected to his in a kiss that was nothing more than a thing filled with misery, yet with some spark of a hope along the way. Hopefully that spark would grow more and more. He kissed her back, their mouths opening to let their tongues connect for barely a second, before they both broke the kiss and she wiped some of his tears with her bare hands. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and wrapped his arms around her, letting her snuggle him like a small child that needed the comfort of its mother. She kissed his head quickly, before her lips went down to his ear._

_"You have me," she whispered, "you have me..."_

_"_Um...creepy girl, can you please help me with that?"

Rose was brought back in reality and quickly shook her head. No need to go back to where there'd been no violence in hers' and Christian's relationship. They'd never go back to those first days after that night of where they'd kissed and helped each other learn to love again...such peaceful days would never be back. They were no longer two seventeen year old love-struck teenagers, they were adults and each one of them had responsibilities to handle. There was no time to try to create the "perfect" relationship, for was there any point in that now?

Moo girl, or whatever her name was, was holding a frozen chicken in one hand, and a bag of rice in the other. She looked like she was about to drop both, even though they barely weighed anything.

"Oh, sorry. Sure." _Of coruse darling, let me help you! Heaven forbid you break a nail while cooking!_

"I can't really use my tits to balance those things like some girls do, because, you see, I've had some special things done to my babies and I might hurt them."_ Darling, I'd be glad to help your "babies" dissapear completely if you don't leave us alone!_

As it turned out, Moo girl was very eager to help, but, if it was possible, she was even worse at cooking than Rose, which is saying something. She managed to open both sides on the rice and it spilled on the floor, making Rose fall and bump her head on a counter that stood nearby. The chicken was safely put into the oven and turned at the right temperature. Three hours later, it was taken out and observed by the two females.

"Is...is the chicken supposed to be black?" asked Mone and giggled.

"NO!" yelled Rose, protecting her nose with her hands. "And I don't think it was supposed to stink like a horse barn either!"

"Really? I knew you messed up somewhere, darling...it's okay, leave it to me the next time, okay?" She giggled and Rose tried to remember where she'd last seen her stake. Moo girl probably wouldn't fit completely in the stove, what with her precious "babies", but surely her head would be cooked well enough to shut her up and get her off Christian's dick.

The two sat down in the dining room to have a cup of coffee, something Rose actually knew how to do, as she liked to say so proudly. Today, though, she didn't feel proud about the coffee and just poured two cups and put them on the dining table, trying to smile at the fake blonde in front of her.

"So...girl... _What was her name again? Moo?_ "You certainly have a very unique name..." _Mone! It's Mone!_ "Where does Mone really come from?"

The blonde laughed and actually blushed slightly.

"Actually, my real name's Monica. I was born a Monica and legally I'll always be a Monica. But it just didn't feel right, you know? Like if you'd been named Sexy, that would totally _not_ fit you!" _Rose, honey, go grab your stake and cut her head off!_ "I always felt like there was something hidden inside me, you know? Like a secret person. When I was fifteen I gave my V-card to my history teacher and he said I moaned so loudly the windows could've been broken. So I renamed myself to Moan, 'cause I'm so good in the bedroom, you know! I know _tons_ of positions that you wouldn't even dream of, darlin'!" _The only thing I'm dreaming of right now, __**darlin'**__, is to cut your tongue off and make you shut up!_

Mone looked around and happily giggled for the hundreth-and-first time.

"Hon, this house rocks! I can't wait to see the master bedroom that I'll share with Chrissie..."

"_You_, my darlin', will _not _be sleeping in the master bedroom, because _I'm_ sharing that_ with Christian_!"

Mone giggled again. Those giggles of hers were becoming very annoying.

"_Honey_!" she said with a sweet tone that held some danger in it. "I've been in this _way _longer than you have. I've been in Christian's pants many more times than you can probably count and we've shared a bedroom even more before that. I've made him cum so many times he probably moans my name every time you guys fuck! That is, _if_ you have got what it takes to fuck Chrissie! So _I'm_ staying here, and _you_ will go do your own thing while I please the man I want, 'kay?"

At that moment the door opened and Christian, who'd said he really needed to shower in order to leave the tense situation, came out with a towel in his hands, drying his hair as though his life depended on it.

"Hey, girls! What's up?" Rose stared at him as though he was about to shoot him and Mone...well, she gave him her usual fuck-eye.

"Chrissie, how nice to see you!" Mone went up to him and before he could stop her, she put her hands on his ass, pecking his lips and biting his neck possessively. "Rose here was just telling me that I'm so welcome here! She seems to like me, and isn't that nice? So I'm staying here! Isn't that gorge for the both of us?" she winked at him and he swallowed. This was _so not_ what he wanted. But it seemed like he didn't have much of a choice.

"Well, then Mone..." he sighed and gave up, not knowing what else to do. "Do you have a lot of luggage?"

She squealed and jumped up, running back to her car to get her stuff.

"She squealed." said Rose surprisingly. "She _actually squealed_! It's even worse than her giggles!"

Christian sighed again, realizing that Rose ovbiously did _not_ want Mone in here. Now it was too late to do anything.

"So..." he said, trying to think of something to say. "How do you like Mone?"

Rose looked at him skeptically, as though not believing he'd just asked her that.

"I'm still calling her Moo girl."


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys, d'you like "Moo girl"? Haha. By the way, it might get confusing in this chapter, so to let you know, italics is for past, the rest is for present :) .**

The next couple days could easily be called a nightmare. Christian wasn't sure whether he was angrier or Rose, but one thing was known: no one wanted Mone in the house. The good part was that Mone already seemed to have figured that out. The bad part was that she wasn't doing anything about it, she didn't seem to care. She was exatcly the way Christian remembered her, actually: a young woman who lived for her looks and sex drive. Once upon a time, she'd been interesting to him, especially with the things they'd done in bed.

He'd met her when he was nineteen and she was sixteen. He had gone back to 's, trying to find his right place, as usual. After Rose had left, it wasn't as though guardians were fighting to get assigned to him, and he didn't feel like staying in Court just so he wouldn't have to worry about that. So he'd gone back to his most hated place in search of a dhampir guardian, prefferably female. After all, he did have hormones.

Little Mone, as she was known as back then, was just coming out of her shell. She'd been a very shy girl up until she'd turned fifteen and discovered that she could be hot when she wanted to. Since then, she'd been doing her best to convince the guys that had known her their whole lives that she was...well...a sex machine. She didn't need to do any convincing with Christian, by that point he'd been desperate to be laid. One thing led to another and...well, it was then that their relationship started, if it could even be called that. She was more of a fuck buddy, since she wasn't even his friend, and he had even sworn sometimes that he'd fallen in love with her. Of course, after getting Rose back, he realized that he was just kidding himself, that love was more than wanting to tie a girl to your bed, so you can have her whenever and however you wanted to. That was lust. And, unfortunately, he'd been in lust with Mone. Even more unfortunately, she was the type of girl that never let go. She'd realzied all by herself that she was giving him something he wanted and enjoyed, she figured out the amount of money he had and quickly decided to have him no matter what. It had taken a while for Christian to figure it out (a whole year, actually) that Mone was not his type, so he'd tried to get rid of her, but it was too late: she was stuck like glue to him. She'd been coming to visit lots of times for the past year, thinking they would just start over and sadly, Christian had to admit that he led her on by sleeping with her every time she was here. So it was no wonder that she tried to throw herself at him every time they saw each other: she was used to it.

So how do you get rid of a woman who's used to being treated as a sex machine and expects to be laid every time? Hard question and an even harder answer.

The first night she'd been at the house, Mone had quickly realized where Rose slept. Of course, she couldn't have that. Rose and Christian, though, did not know about her feelings about the sleeping arrangement. So you can imagine their surprise when the pounding on the door had started at two in the morning.

"I know you're fucking her, Chrissie, but I need you tonight, so tell her to get her hands off m'boy!" she giggled, as usual.

Christian opened the door and looked at her, extremely annoyed.

"You ever heard of romance? Anyways, get lost!" he was not a morning person, and who would be at two in the morning after he's had a dream interrupted, in which he was to make sweet love to the woman he actually had feelings for?

She giggled again and got in their bedroom, not caring that Rose was still sleeping.

"Darlin', get up!" and before Christian could stop her, she had pulled the covers off Rose's half-naked body and smacked her butt to wake her up. Wrong move.

Rose was always used to being awakened the wrong way, since she'd often lived in dangerous neghborhoods with her daughter. She was also a guardian, or at least had been taught to be one, and as a guardian, she'd learned to act right away without hesitating.

When Mone's hand made a contact with her body, Rose's eyes snapped open and her body froze, ready to take action. Before Christian could even tell Mone to get lost, Rose's hand was on Mone's neck. Her other hand twisted her hand in a breaking it way and she was soon on top of Mone, with a stake she'd pulled out from underneath her pillow enar her heart. Mone screamed and froze. She herself had not been a good guardian and would never be. Christian, on the other hand, froze.

"What the hell, Rose?" he yelled and pulled Mone away from her. "What do you think you're doing?"

Rose eyes widened as she realized which side he was on. She wanted to just lay down and cry, but she didn't want them to see her so weak.

"That's how it is then? Three years ago you were amazed by what I could do as a guardian, Christian...and now you blame me?" Damn those tears, they really were starting to appear!

Without another word, she walked by Christian and left the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

He knew what was best in this situation. Leaving her alone so she can calmd own and they'll talk about it in the morning when she was thinking sanely.

Being the "smart" type, though, he followed her.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" he yelled after her, but she didn't bother looking behind her and strted going down the stairs! "I said WAIT!" he pulled on her arm and in instinct again, she had her hand wrapped around his neck in a second.

"WHAT?" she yelled at his face. "Don't you think I see?" What she wants? What _you_ want?"

"Wait...what?" he didn't really understand where she was going with this. "What who wants?"

She sighed, exasperated, and pointed a him.

"Don you tell me you don't understand what I'm getting at here! Who the hell is she and where did she come from?"

He finally realized who he meant. Mone.

It was then that he became speechless. For how do you tell the woman you've fallen in love with that your former fuck-budyy has turned up, knowing that nothing was over between the two of you? For nothing really was over, not that it had started...he'd never ended it, he'd been too stupid a year ago to believe that Mone would just accept that he was ignoring her calls, not returning them, and not making any effort to get in touch with her. He thought she knew it was over without him having to tell her that. Well...obviously, that wasn't the case.

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"Look...it's complicated.

"EVERYTHING has been complicated since...I came back." Well, couldn't she just call it that? Although kidnapping someone and forcing them back into your life wasn't exactly...coming back. "Don't you see...everything is so messed up!"

"Well, yeah, it IS MESSED UP, dammit!" he finally yelled. He was done trying to make her feel better. She was now making him mad.

"How could YOU get mad? What about me? What say do I have in this stupid..."

"SHUT UP!" he screamed as loud as he could. "JUST SHUT UP AND DON'T YOU DARE OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SAY SOMETHING STUPID AGAIN! YEAH, YOU LEFT...WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO, HUH? STAY AND MOURN YOU FOREVER! I DID THAT FOR LISS AND LOOK WHERE THAT GOT ME! AND SHE'S GONE AND YOU'RE...YOU'RE HERE! IT WAS ALL I HAD WHEN SHE DIED, IT WAS YOU! AND THEN YOU LEFT, AND AFTER I WAS SO GLAD THAT YOU WERE ALIVE AFTER THAT ACCIDENT AND..."

"No." she said. "You're not."

Her answer completely confused him. Yes, he knew that at one point of time she'd stop him from yelling like the psychopath that he was, but...

"No? What are you talking about?"

She swallowed.

"No. You wouldn't be glad...if only you knew..." her voice was like ice and he suddenly felt a shiver run down his spine, knowing that she knew something horrible that he didn't.

"What? What don't I know?"

She suddenly did the last thing he expected: she broke down.

"Don't you know what it feels like when you feel alone? And I felt _so_ alone...I needed it!"

"Needed what?"

"And then the weather...that stupid rain, I lost control and...I didn't mean to, I..."

Suddenly, his heart stopped. And he knew.

Christina. Something was wreong with his baby girl.

"Rose, it's okay..."

"No, it's NOT!" she screamed, tears running down her cheeks. "And you'll never forgive me when you learn, I was so stupid!"

"Ro, whatever you've done, it's okay...is she fine?" He was hoping to make her feel better. Of course she was fine...wasn't she?

To his surprise and extreme horror, her face whitened.

"So you know? No, how could you...I hid it so well! You couldn't know...you just couldn't!"

"You can't hide something like this. It's obvious. Rose, as long as she's fine..."

She finally seemed to register what he was telling her. And to hir horror, she laughed.

"Fine! Yeah, she'd perfectly fine! Just excellent! Just a pile of dirt in the ground..."

"WHAT? She better be fine, Rose!"

"Fine?" Rose laughed his typical laugh. Like a psychopath. "She'd DEAD, Christian."

The room suddenly became extremely quiet and he paled, feeling like his heart would break in pieces.

"Christina..."

"What? No, of course not, our daughter's fine!"

"Then...who are you talking about?" He was so confused now!

"Oh for God's sake...Lissa!"

Oh. Well that was old news to him.

"Everybody knows that, Rose." he said quietly. "She died and so did the Dragomir line. Everybody was at her funeral and everybody knows of the accident she got in that destroyed her car..."

To his surprise, she laughed again.

"Right. Like that happened. Like tiny, innocent Liss would go on a suicidal mission like this."

"Don't joke about this, Rose, of course she didn't mean to! That's why it was an accident, she lost control of the wheel..."

"No, NO, you idiot! I did!"

His mind went completely blank.

"Did...what does that have to do with you, Rose?"

"_I _did it! _I_ lost control of the wheel of the car that _she_ died in!"

_3 years ago_

_"My __**dear **__Jessie, it's all over, and I'm telling you to stop calling me!" Pause. "Well, of course I don't want to know you anymore! You cheated on me, you filthy pig! What the hell do you..." Pause. "No, I don't want to hook up in my free time. Zeklos, you're disgusting!" Pause. "Well, if that's the way you feel, then I'm perfectly fine with it...goodbye!"_

_The phone of the seventeen year old snapped shut and she sighed in disgust, popping her gum for the umpteenth time. That bastard, Jessie freakin' Zeklos. Yeah. That name fit him perfectly. _

_Still mad after the phone call, the future guardian, who looked nothing like a future guardian stomped down the hall to the Moroi's wing and started knocking as loud as she could at one particular door, about to break down the poor wooden thing that was the only thing that kept her from bursting into the owner's private space. Not that that particular owner had much of a private space._

_The door opened and a sleepy blond head appeared from behind it, her green eyes widening when she saw who it was._

_"R-rose?" she couldn't help but ask, trying to stifle a yawn._

_"Yeah, good morning!" Rose smiled and hugged the poor Lissa._

_"It's two in the morning, Rose!"_

_"Well, then...good night, sleep tight, have good dreams...now get your butt up and come with me!"_

_"Where are we going, Rose? We're still in St. Vlad's...remember?"_

_"We're graduating soon!" Rose smiled at her friend, who sighed._

_"Two years isn't really soon, Rose."_

_"Yeah, but you're special." Rose winked at her friend. "Come on, let's go...I need to go shopping, or I'm gonna die here with Jessie and his stupid calls."_

"I was tired of Jessie...it had been a long day for me, way too long, and I needed a break from...life...turns out, that's exactly what she got." Rose's voice lowered adn lowered until it became barely a whisper, as Christian listened with wide eyes, starting to put the pieces together...

_"Rose, you can't drive!"_

_"Yeah, I can!" Lissa was holding on to her seatbelt as though her life depended on it, trembling in fear as her dhampir friend kept on making rapid turns here and there. "Just because my trainer didn't think it wise enough for me to get a driver's license doesn't mean that I can't drive!"_

_"He probably had a good reason!" The car took the next turn on two tires and Lissa whimpered._

_"Oh, come on, Liss! We're safe! You're safe...with me! What can possibly happen?"_

_Lissa seemed to think about that one. She became quiet and still for about a minute, after which she shrugged. _

_"I guess you're right...why do I have to worry so much?" Lissa smiled and relxed even more as Rose took her hand for a second and squeezed it friendly._

_"So where are we going?" Rose wondered, not knowing where exactly to drive to._

_"Don't care, as long as I'm with you! And as long as I spend some girl time, I really needed it!"_

_The two girls laughed and kept on going as though everything was right in the world..._

"We spent what felt like forever in the stores, just giggling and doing girlish stuff. We also went to a restaurant and had a couple beers. I didn't think it would really get to me that hard, it was just beer, right? I guess I should have known better..." Rose whispered brokenly as she continued down memory lane into the past that she'd always kept closed...

_"Rose, we're so wasted!" Lissa giggled as she and her friend made their way back to the car._

_"Nope, you had three beers and I only had two!"_

_"You drank half of my first two beers!" Lissa laughed as the two drunk girls got in to the car, Rose barely being able to put on her seatbelt._

_"Okay...where are we goin' now?" Lissa laughed at her friend that didn't seem to care whether they'd end up in the Academy, or at a strip club._

_"Oh, a bar...or two..." This time Lissa didn't laugh as she realized that her friend wasn't kidding...she wanted to party._

_"No, I don' think that's a good idea. Rose, I think we should go back!" Lissa hesitated at the realization that Rose wasn't paying attention. "Rose, are you listening to me?"_

_"A storm's coming." Rose pointed south, where, in horror, Lissa saw a big black cloud heading their way._

_"In that case we should start going. Hurry!"_

"I didn't think it would be that bad. After all, we would pull over and get a hotel room if it got that bad, right? But once we got onto the highway, there were no hotels...there was nowhere to stop, all I saw around me were cars and big trees whose shadows worried me quite a bit...and still, there was nowhere to stop..." Rose felt the tears starting to fall down her cheeks, but this time Christian didn't try to calm her down...

_"Rose, this isn't funny! I can't see a thing, can you?" _

_"Don't worry, Liss! Everything's under control!" Lissa was starting to freak out, and for good reason. Although Rose kept on telling her that it would be fine,she herself could barely see five feet in front of her. The storm was getting worse, rain hitting her windows and snapping trees' branches around them while above them, thunder echoed, making Rose whimper quietly every time she saw a lightning._

_They had been talking a little bit, although the conversation was awkward. Rose was ovbiously drunk and trying to hide it, but Lissa couldn't drive so all she had to do was sit and wait in despair, praying that nothing bad would happen. The conversation had completely ceased as soon as the thunder and lightning had started to take over, and as soon as Rose started creeping out quite a bit. Currently, they were on the highway, neither knowing what to do, the car moving way too fast for the weather._

_"Rose, you're driving too fast! Slow down, we'll hit something!"_

_"Lissa, relax! It's gonna be fine, please don't..."_

_"WATCH OUT!" as soon as she screamed this, Rose knew something was wrong. She saw way too late that a car in front of her had lost control and the car was now spinning...towards them. She slammed her foot on the brakes, but that still didn't prevent her from being thrown into the car as hard as car went flying in the air and off the bridge they were at into the small lake._

_"Lissa?" was the first thing Rose screamed, turning towards her friend. A tiny streak of blood had started coming out of her friend's forehead and her eyes were closed, her face even paler than usual. "Liss, come on...stop pretending...Liss, we need to get out of here, or call an ambulance. Lissa, why won't you look at me?" Tears had started streaming down her face and she found her hands on her friend's body, shaking her until blood started coming out of her mouth as well. "LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" _

_But how can one look at you through the mask of death? Rose started crying, her sobs filling the car as she kept on hitting her best friend's arm, begging her to get up, to move...none of which happened. By this point, she knew that she had to get out of here. She was alive, after all, and Lissa..water had started to fill in the car and soon Rose was completely under water, not being able to breathe. She had to get help, she would call an ambulance and Lissa would be alright...she had to be!_

_With the remaining strength she had left, Rose took the stake she'd taken from back at the Academy and broke the window, going out as quickly as she could, leaving everything behind and swimming up in the hopes of staying alive. Her head came above water and she gasped, her hungry for air lungs taking in deep breaths as she tried to calm herself down. But she couldn't...nothing she did would make it better._

_Slowly, she found herself out of the lake, her clothes dripping water everywhere. It was already nighttime in the human world and the storm itself wasn't helping her. She stood in one place,shivering for what felt like forever, until she caught herself. _

_And it is that time that she started running._

"I was scared and I didn't know what to do. Before I knew it, a lie had slipped out of my mouth, and then another and another. Soon I'd created up this full story of how I'd realized Lissa was gone and had gone after her, not knowing wat else to do, because I'd freaked out and acted without thinking clearly. It's what someone like me would do, right? So I figured...if I acted enough it would seem real, wouldn't it? Turns out I didn't have to act. They found her car after I gave them one "anonymous" call, but she was dead. They told me, and I...it...didn't seem real, I couldn't...didn't..."

"You didn't save her." finished Christian. "She was probably alive when you were still in the car, just unconscious! And you left her. YOU LEFT HER! YOU LET HER DIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE WHEN..."

"I didn't mean to! Christian please, I didn't know what..."

"YOU SAVED YOURSELF AND NOT HER! WHAT KIND OF A GURDIAN WOULD DO SUCH A THING?!" he was yelling now and she was crying.

"Christian, please!" But it was too late; she was losing him and she was seeing it in his eyes...the betrayal, the hurt, anger...her vision bevame blurry with the tears that filled her eyes even more and she grabbed onto his pajama pants, trying to reason with him. "Please try to understand that I was scared! I wasn't thinking and..."

"You are NEVER thinking! YOU'RE ALWAYS DOING THINGS WITHOUT GOING THROUGH THEM FIRST! WHEN WILL YOU STOP, ROSE, WHEN WILL YOU START ACTING RATIONALLY AND THINK THINGS THROUGH...I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU!" He was crying too, looking at her in the eyes now. "I loved her...LOVED her! You knew how much she meant to me, she was my whole world! You are NOTHING compared to her. NOTHING!"

Her eyes widened and it was her turn to feel betrayal.

"N-nothing?" she whimpered, not being able to believe what he'd just said. Hopefully, he'd take his words back. Of course he didn't mean it, he was just upset, he would take it all back an they'd...

"Nothing." He repeated, looking her in the eyes again, doing nothing else but staring. He didn't touch her, didn't raise his hand, nor his voice anymore. He just stared.

The tears seemed to stop, but she felt nothing. Nothing. It was like he'd taken out everything that he'd, or anyone else, had builty inside her. Any feeling, any hope that she'd once had...gone. For seconds.

"And you know what?" he continued digging deep inside her, kept on destroying. "Currently you're not wanted."

"I..." she didn't know what to say, and what was there to say? She was now the 'other woman'. It was like a nightmare come true, him leaving her again,with the same words...

_"Christian...it's late."_

_"Who cares if it's late? Periods don't always come at the exact same time that they're supposed to. It's what health class has been teaching us since fourth grade."_

_"But...it's never been __**that**__ late, Chris, and I...I'm worried, help me, I..."_

_"Who cares if I help you or not? Why would you need me? You know what, sometimes you're pathetic! So what if you're pregnant, who cares? You are NOTHING compared to other people, Rose. Nothing."_

_The door of the attic slammed behind him as she fell on the floor, sobbing. He'd left her, like he always did, and she still kept coming back, because she wanted to help that eighteen year-old starved for attention boy, and she loved him..._

_She loved him..._

She loved him.

It was plain as day that she'd always loved him, although she'd never really told him that...now there was nothing to do, except ask the inevitable.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked the painful question anyways, in a quiet voice.

He sighed.

"I think...I think it's best if you...if you left."

It was like someone had taken out her heart and handed it to her, showing her all the blood pouring out of it, the blood that showed teh amount of pain she felt at that moment. He was..he was asking her to...to leave?

"If...I...ok." she said, not knowing what else to do. He nodded and left without looking back, closing his bedroom door behind him.

She broke down then, quietly letting her body fall to the floor as her shoulders shook with sobs. Never would he hold her again, kiss her, tell her he loved her...make love to her...

It was over. It was all over.

_Yet another postive test. It was official. She was pregnant._

_What was also official was that Christian obviously did not want her __**or**__ the baby._

_With tears in her eyes, she packed up quietly all that she needed: some clothing, toiletries, and a teddy bear that Lissa had given her._

_As she was leaving, she kept on looking back, but no tears came. Her face was already puffy and the eyes were now dry. As she walked forward, towards her new life, she coud almost feel the baby kicking, but of course, that was impossible after being pregnant for two months. Still...it was nice to know that you're not alone. She nodded at her tummy._

_"I know. It might not be the right choice." But what __**was**__ the right choice? After all...it wasn't as if she __**did**__ have much of a choice now, was it? She didn't turn back, not until she opened the gates. As the metal closed behind her, she looked back and caught two of the bars in her hands, looking back._

_"I love you." she whispered and, finally, a tear fell down on her cheek, a tear of goodbye, one filled with sorrow. _

_She kept walking._

_As she got deeper and deeper into reality, she locked the most important thing in the world: her heart._

**OMG, such a long chapter! But I couldn't help myself, and you'll be probably really happy...Wow, well...you can probably expect a pretty violent chapter next time ;)**


	15. Chapter 15

As he turnned around to lay on his stomach, he felt her lips on neck. He sighed happily, letting himself feel for once, not wanting to open his eyes and face reality. For now, reality was this: they'd fought, he'd gotten mad at her and told her things that he would never mean, but sometimes through the night, she'd realized that he was sorry for all he'd said. So she'd gone back to him and now her lips were going up and donw his chest, while her hands were slowly going lower and lower, stopping at the edge of his boxers, as though to tease him. But of course. She would always tease him a little before she really started.

He opened up his eyes, pushing her body up so he could kiss her soft lips. Like usual, they would taste wonderful all by themselves...wait...strawberry? He pulled away and licked his lips.

Rose would NEVER wear make-up in bed.

His eyes had closed again at the kiss, but opened up again to the see the hair he felt in his hand. Unnatural blond curls stodo right in front of him.

Oh no. No, no, no. Not good.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" he jumped out of the bed, pushing the "blonde" away from him. She looked up at him, her cat-like grey eyes shining with the promise of an award.

"Good morning, sleepy head!" she got out of the bed and ran towards him, jumping his bones before he could stop her. Her lips on his neck, her teeth biting his skin so hard it actually hurt, her legs wrapped around his waist and she pulled him close, start to grind against him. He swallowed hard and he had to admit: sexually, it felt good. Her nails, as huge as an eagle's, ran up and down his chest, so hard that she left scars that started bleeding. Her hips kept on grinding against him as she pushed him against the bed, this time starting to take in the blood from his chest, while her hands were starting to go incredibly low by his boxers. Dangerously low.

"St-oop..." he moaned as she grabbed him through his boxers and squeezed.

"But you don't want me to stop, do you, Chrissie?" he clenched his teeth to hold in another moan as her head started going in the direction of her hand holding him. "You want me to keep going, make you cum like that little slut of a girl Rose never did...you want me to..."

Christian never found out what she thought he wanted her to do. Rose's name was like a cold water to him and he found himself jumping up, throwing her away from him.

"How dare you say that about her!" he yelled.

"But Chrissie, you..."

"Don't call me that either!" he was now screaming as loud as he could, just like last night. Now, though, something was starting to happen that had not happened in...in three years...

_"Where are you going?" His voice was so cold, and he felt her freeze and turn around in an instant._

_"Christian..." She hesitated and gave him enough time to hiccup. He'd had a drink...or two...hell, he didn't even know how many drinks he'd had...it helped deal with the pain._

_His eyes filled up with anger as he realized what she was doing. Behind her was a suitcase filled with clothes and toiletries, and she looked at him, horror visible in her eyes as she saw what he saw. _

_She was running away. That bitch was running away from him! _

_"Rose..." He shook his head and smiled at her, although he knew she wouldn't be fooled. "How many times have I told you to __**never**__ piss me off? Huh? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO LISTEN?"_

_"You..you can't tell me what to do." Oooh, she's playing tough now, huh? Young Rose Hathaway decides to show that she has spunk? Well, he'll show her what she deserved. He didn't care that he was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly..he was upset, and she had stood in his way at the wrong moment._

_He pulled her away from the suitcase and broke the metal of the bag, throwing all of her clothes everywhere._

_"YOU, MY __**dear Rose,**__ are going to be __**my**__ GUARDIAN!" he yelled the last word. "That means that you leave __**WHEN**__ I say __**HOWEVER **__I say! YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE WHEN TO LEAVE AND WHEN TO STAY! I'LL CONTROL YOU!"_

_She opened her mouth to probably say something stupid back, but she suddenly closed it. She kept quiet for a minute, looking at his face, as though searching for something. Her eyes widened with realization, something that she'd figured out and she calmy responded:_

_"You're drunk. You're not thinking clearly."_

_"HELL YEAH, I'M DRUNK! WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT THAT!" Another hiccup. "DAMN IT!"_

_"Christian, let's go to your room, lay down for a little bit..."_

_"YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO! WHO ARE YOU TO SAY WHAT __**I'M**__ TO DO, HUH?" She opened her mouth to say something again, but he interrupted her:_

_"Ooh, I'm scared! Are you going to act like a smartass, huh? Well, obviously you are. So I'll show you how smartasses are treated."_

_The door to her bedroom that had remained open during their fight, suddenly got slammed shut and before Rose could do a thing, he had pushed her against the wall, her hands above her head, his body pressing against hers. Her eyes widened in shock, and, he was glad to hear, in fear._

_"What...what are you doing, don't..."_

_"Ooh, so now you're scared? Too late now, Roza!" He ran his tongue up and down her neck, one of his hands holdong hers still above her head, while his free hand started to touch her body in ways that he knew drove her crazy. But no. He wasn't going to act quietly. That was not his plan._

_She whimpered as he took some of her skin between his thumb and forefinger and pinched her, leaving a dark bruise behind. He pressed his body even harder against her and she moaned._

_"You're...Chris, you're hurting me..."_

_"Shut up, or it will hurt even worse." She froze as she realized he wasn't just going to fool around. Realization flashed in her eyes and she managed to scream once, before his hand left go of hers and he put his fingers against her mouth to shush her. _

_Her hands free, she tried to push him away from her, using some of the combat movements she'd learned, but he knew all her movements; who knows how many of her practces he'd been at. She was trying to scream from underneath his hand, but he pushed his fingers deep into her mouth and bit on her neck, hard. He was using his vampire teeth, so he knew he was drawing blood. She was starting to melt into his arms, moaning in pleasure, but he wouln't have it that way. As good as her blood tasted, he pushed himself away from her saw her body falling to the ground, she couldn't control herself. He let her eyes clear for a moment to realize what was happening again and as soon as her eyes widened again, he fell on top of her, pushing her on the floor._

_"LET GO!" She screamed, starting to cry, hitting his hands, but not being able to really hurt him, since she was still weak from the bite._

_"So now we're not so full of ourselves, are we?" he laughed, positioning himself on top of her. "Oh, well..." His hips pushed so that she stayed on the ground. It was almost as though he was inside her, the only thing keeping them apart were some poor excuses of clothing. She screamed once again, but his hand then slapped her cheek, keeping her quiet for seconds._

_It was then that she started crying, but he didn't care. Inside, something was telling him that what he was doing was wrong, but he didn't care about that either. He was too drunk to let the guilt and reality sink in._

_Moments later, she kept on screaming as loud as she could, in pain and betrayal as his hands landed anywhere they could, as he kept on hitting her, leaving bruises and mental scars forever...he kept on hitting and she kept on screaming, begging him to stop, but he didn't...he wouldn't..._

His eyes had that same flame in them now, and he soon felt his hands also heating up. As he looked down, he saw a ball of flame in his hands and to his horror, that ball was becoming bigger and bigger, the anrgier he got. He knew that he could let go of that ball just as easily as he'd created it. He also knew that if he dropped that ball and let go of his anger, the same thing that had happened to Rose befre would happen to Mone now. He would lose his temper and he would keep on hitting her like he had with Rose...and she would run away and he'd have nothing left, because he didn't care for her enough to follow her.

The bad side of him then appeared. Why not hit her? He loved Roe, he loved her! And he still hurt her, whether he wanted to or not. Who was Mone compared to Rose?

"YOU RUINED MY LIFE!" he yelled at her, pushing her against the wall lie her had with Rose. "I HAD ONE THING LEFT! ONE THING! AND YOU **DESTROYED** IT, YOU HORRIBLE, SICK..." he slammed her head against the wall and she screamed, starting to cry just like Rose had.

something in him suddenly snapped and whether it was guilt or reality settling in, but he forced himself to look into her eyes. She was staring into his, shivering in fear, half-naked and begging, with her own eyes, begging him to get his life together.

Mone. She was innocent...wasn't she? She hadn't done a thing, she was just her slutty old self that...well, okay, maybe not so innocent. But innocent enough that seh deserved happiness as well. She didn't desrve to be hit, to be manipulated and to live a half of a life, the life that she would live with **him** if she stayed here. And it wa sbecause of that that his hands cupped her face and, still looking in her eyes, he told her the one real thing he should have said a two years ago.

"You don't need to keep pretending, Monica." She opened her mouth, but he interrupted her. "That is your **real** name and it's beautiful, just like you were when you were sixteen. Even though you didn't act like it, you were pure and beautiful and worth it for so many reasons...a guy would be crazy not to want a brave beauty like you. Yet you hid all those wonderful qualities behind make-up, attitude and silicone...and it's not you! You deserve to be loved and appreciated as who you are, not for what you give! Which is why...I can't be with you. I will always love you for a reason or two, but you're only a friend, or like a sister, somebody I've been looking for to understand me and help me get through things. I understand now that Rose is my woman, and although you are fantastic on your own, I'm starving for Rose just like you're starving for attention and for love, two things you've never been given before...go find your own life and live it, Monica...like a normal person."

He left go of her then and she just stared at him, quietly, her mouth open. She swallowed.

"The last time I saw her, she was crying on the staircase. She needs, just like you need her. You were the only person that paid much attention to me, and I thought it was love. But maybe you're right. Maybe I need to find love on my own."

She quietly got dressed then, with her back to him. A couple minutes later, she looked up at him and nodded, before going to the bathroom. When she reappeared, her face had none of the heavy make-up she'd put of before. She face was completely natural...and she was still pretty. She looked at him again, and before he could stop her, she hugged him, wrapping her arms tightly around him and squeezing as much as she could. Before she pulled away, she kissed his cheek in a friendly way, and then smiled at him.

"Good bye, you love machine! And good luck with your girl!" He couldn't help but laugh at her words.

It was the last time that he saw Monica as something more of a friend.

"ROSE? PLEASE, I'M SORRY!" Here's the time that Christian found the disadvantage of having a huge house: the house was not completely finished and some of the doors were locked. Unfortunately, he couldn't remember which doors were supposed to be locked and which couldn't; minorities like those had never really disturbed him until now. Therefore, Rose could be in any of the rooms he'd tried to open and had not been able to. Which was a good 7 rooms.

He somehow, though, had a feeling that Rose was not in the house. The fact that some of her things were gone was definitely helping, but why wouldn't she take everything? He also felt like he was forgetting something important. But what could it be...?

"DADDY!" A baby voice rung around the house and Christian froze on his heels. It...it couldn't be...

"DADDY! DADDY, I'm SCALED!" Whimpered the baby voice and Christian found himself running back to the staircase and climbing the stairs quickly, hoping that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't his imagination...

He opened the baby room to find it empty. Of coruse. But...everything was in its place?

"DADDY!" He heard it again, and this time, he knew where it was coming from. He ran as fast as he could back to his bedroom, swung the door open and...

Opened his arms so his little girl could fall into them. And fall into them she did, her whole body shaking uncontrollably as she sobbed.

"My little butterfly, what's wrong?" He picked her and kissed her forehead, wiping the small tears with his hands. It was as though his own eyes looked at him as she hiccuped and swallowed.

"Daddy, Mommy's gone! Mommy's nevel gone, whele is Mommy?" It was the "Mommy" part that got him scared. She'd told him herself before that at two, Mommy was such a baby word, and now she was using it.

"Mommy...well, Mommy will be back soon, butterfly!" He kissed her cheeks and tried to smile.

"Did Mommy leave again, so she could lun?" It took him a while to understand what she was trying to say, but when he realized that she meant "run", his felt his whole body freeze.

Run.

She'd run away before. Three years ago.

And she'd told him that if she ever left again he has to promise her to not follow her.

His eyes widened and he laid Christina's curly head on his arm so she wouldn't see the horror written on his face. Had Rose planned this all along?

If so, why would she leave their daughter here?

He had promised that he wouldn't follow her...had he? He wasn't sure. He couldn't remember. But he knew one thing.

He couldn't keep the promise.

"Hey, little butterfly, you ready for an adventure?" His daughter looked up at him, with some tears still in her eyes. She wiped her eyes with her tiny knuckles.

"I want Mommy!" She whimpered and wrapped her tiny, chubby arms aroudn his neck. He held on to her and whispered in her ear:

"We'll find Mommy, don't worry butterfly! We'll find her!"

With that, he headed towards the door and slammed it shut, heading for his car.

**No one can blame me that there was any rape in this chapter, because there wasn't any! Although yes, it was a violent chapter and even I'm surprised of mysel. Oh well...please Review :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**What's up :) Anyways, I know...last chapter was weird and even I'm surprised with myself :) Here's the next. And just so you know, if Christina's words don't make sense, put r's on some of the l's :) For instance, led would be red, and gleen=green.**

_He was running as fast as he could._

_Dammit...how could he say that to her? Or worse...do that to her? She was so pure, so innocent-looking...yet he id that? Right. Great, Christian. Such a gentleman._

_Guilt was starting to creep in and he found himself running even faster, not knowing how that was possible. Yes, he had neverthought of her as the perfect girlfriend that he'd marry...but then again, there would never be a perfect woman to him after Lissa...could there be?_

_He finally reahced her bedroom door and started knocking on it,m then banging in despair._

_"ROSE! Rose, open up! Please, I beg you!" Such an idiot...she was packing up, remember? Right after...well, after you beat the hell out of her._

_There was no delicate way to put it. He'd hurt her in the worst way possible...or so he thought. He'd told her he loved her when...wait, what? When had he told her what he felt? And since when did he fall in love, dammit? She was his ex-girlfriend's best friend. Even to someone like Christian Ozera, that seemed...almost perverted. In a way. _

_"Rose, open the door! Come on, Rose, I know you wouldn't leave like that!"_

_She wouldn't leave, would she? Of course not!_

_"Rose?" Why won't she open? "OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" He kept knocking, no...pounding, and before he realized it, the door fell down._

_He was given the view of her room. Or what used to be her room. His lover...no, girlfriend...no, fuck-buddy...friend with benefits? Oh what the hell..._

_Gone. _

_Gone was all the clothing from her wardrobe._

_Gone were all the pictures that used to hang on the walls, the ones of her and Lissa, some of him..._

_Gone were all the toiletries that she kept in the bathroom: towels, pads and tampons, shampoos..._

_Gone was she._

_Gone._

"Daddy, it's led, not gleen!" He hit on the brakes quickly before he could be run over as he realized that his daughter was right. Again.

It was the fourth red light he had missed so far. And the fourth time that Christina had whimpered in remidnment from her baby seat in the back of the car.

"Thanks, butterfly!" That earned him a scowl. A Rose-like scowl.

"Look at the load, Daddy!" Right. He had such a smartass daughter. For a two-year old.

"Who taught you the signs?" he asked, annoyed.

"Mothel did befole. She said it was im-pol-pol..."

"Important?" He smiled. Even though she sounded pretty smarty-pants material, she was still two.

His corrections earned him another scowl.

"Don't laugh, Daddy! You ale the one not paying att-ati..." This time he knew she meant "attention" and he swallowed. Christina was right. For the fifth time.

But what could he do? Rose had left, not giving any explanations, not that she needed to. It was clear that she'd left because of what he'd said. Not that he'd meant it, but it was still painful, for the both of them.

But the mystery still remained; why would Rose leave Christina behind, especially with him, whom she didn't seem to trust much.

Apparently, she trusted him more than he thought.

He remembered how she'd left after he'd beaten her. He also remembered the shock he'd felt when he'd been looking in her bathroom, trying to find any hope that she had forgotten that she'd come back for. There had been nothing worth going back for, but there had been something left.

On top of the sink was a test. A pregnancy test. It was positive. There had also been a note.

_It's yours. Don't bother chasing me._

It was at that time that he'd realized that he was to become a father. He could still remember the shock and the wonder that she hadn't hidden the baby from him and just left. But, knowing Rose, she probably felt like it was his right to know and she wouldn't settle until she told him.

On a post-it note? He hit the brakes for the fifth time and cursed in Russian so his daughter wouldn't understand him.

Where was Rose anyways? It was raining, just like it had rained when the car accident that killed...shut up! Lissa's gone, so stop trying to think about her, Christian!

Easier said than done. Rose was connected to her, of course. There was a part of her that was so like Lissa, it was amazing they weren't related.

Which was why he was out, in the rain, at two in the morning, still looking for an unexisting trail.

It was useless, and he knew it. Deep down he knew that if she didn't want to be found, she wouldn't be found, especially not by a helpless Moroi who knew nothing about the hide-and-seek game guardians were taught.

Speaking of which...

There she was! He couldn't believe it! He had actually found her, after looking for hours! By this time she should have been out of the state, and yet here she was! It was so obvious it was her behind the wheel, looking everywhere on the road and being way more careful than most of the drivers were. Looking as though she was hiding...

Yet why would she let him get her?

He watched as she made a right at a bathroom stop. As though she really needed it. Still confused, he followed her and stopped the car just as soon as she stopped hers.

He got out and heard Christina's little baby feet following him. How she got out of her seat was a mystery to him.

"Mothel!" she screamed and ran towards Rose, opening her arms for a big hug.

To Christian's surprise, Rose froze and pulled Christina away from her.

"Don't!" She screamed at her and Christina pulled back as though burned. She turned around and looked at her father, tears in her eyes. He spread his arms and she went to him, holding on to his shirt and starting to sob.

"What the hell, Rose?" He looked at her in anger. "You leave us alone, and now this?"

She sighed.

"Christina, go for the car."

"Mothel..."

"NOW!" yelled Rose and sobbing, Christina wiped her eyes with teh sleeves of her jacket and got back in the car, barely being able to close the door behind her.

Rose and Christian stood in silence, staring at each other for a while.

"Why?" he asked quietly, so Christina wouldn't hear them.

"Because it's for the best." she answered and he was starting to see tears in her eyes.

"But you..."

"You said you loved me and then you used me! So I had to leave, there was nothing I could do do! And then she came, and how was I supposed to protect her! You betrayed me when I most needed you, what was I supposed to do, Christian? Sit there and accept it like I did before? Well, I can't!"

He just stared at her. She was right. She was oh, so right! And it hurt, it hurt him to realize that she had finally said it. No longer could he pretend that it hadn't happened.

"You betrayed me, you left me, you pleased me, you teased me, you laughed at me, you beat me, you HURT ME!" she yelled the last words, and then she broke down and fell on the floor, crying. "And what did I do? I took you back after everything, thinking that you could change, that you _would_ change?" She stood up again. "Who am I kidding? I was a doll in your puppet play that you showed on stage until she broke apart and showed you her real self! And then you go do whatever you want! You were never there for me! You never helped me get through things, you were never the same after Lissa died! Do you know that I still remembered how you treated her, like a Queen? How stupid is it of me to ask for the same? Huh?"

He was stunned. She had never really told him what she'd wanted, yet here she was, doing just that at the exact time that she'd been telling him everything he'd done to her. He felt tears in his own eyes as he realized that it was him. It was his fault that she'd left back then and it was his fault for her leaving now.

It had always been him.

"Everyone's always run away from me, in one way or another. What do I do? I just stamd back and accept it. You knew that I was broken when you took me under your wing, so why complain now of what you knew?"

"Because you've never acted this way! You've never hurt anyone your whole life, no matter what everyone thought of you! And there you were, doing something every day to hurt me, to make me realize that you were the boss and that I was just a stupid pregnant girl tagging along with a child that no one but me wanted." Her face was getting puffy and he kept on staring at her, not knowing what to do.

He opened his mouth to say the last words that he thought he would say to her.

"What do you want _me_ to do? Everything you mentioned is in the past, a place where I can't change anything. I'm sorry for everything I did and I will always be sorry, but you can't expect me to try to do anything other than make you understand how I feel about you. There's nothing else I _can _do and until you realize that, nothing will change. I will not beg you to go back, so if you don't want to go back to me, then..._don't_.

With these words, he opened the back of the car and took the still sobbing Christina into his arms. Then he went to the front seat slammed the door after him and turned on the car.

During this time, Rose had gone back to her car when a realization hit Christian.

"WAIT!" he opened his window and she stared back at him. "You knew that I would follow you even though you wanted me to promise not to! You knew I would come looking for you and that you could hide, yet you did nothing to hide yourself! You_ wanted _me to find you!"

She said nothing, but her pained eyes and numb expression said it all.

That was it. He was going to follow her if it was going to be the death of him. So as soon as she turned on the car, he stayed right behind her.

And then he followed her.

She was hard to catch, though. This time, she didn't want him to stop her and talk to her, she didn't sem to want to go back. It was like she had been possessed by an evil ghost as she kept on swtching lanes, going for way above the speed limit, desperately trying to lose him. He wouldn't let her lose him this time. He would fight for her and talk to her until he finally put some sense into her head, made her realize that going away was the wrong decision.

It wasn't until Christina screamed and took his shirt, squeezing it into her little tight fists that he realized that he had missed another red light. This time, there was no time to slam on the brakes and he watched with horror as a truck from his left ran into his car, throwing it off the road and into the near-by lake...

**I know, the shortest chapter yet, but...I wanted it to end RIGHT where it ended :) So...will they survive the accident or are we going to have some trauma?**


	17. Chapter 17

**So...is anyone dead or are they alive? Let's see...**

**And yes, I changed the Hurt/Comfort genre to Tragedy...it seems ti fit more :)**

**This chapter is dedicated to Chelsea Castile, for being my biggest reviwer :) Thanks for reviewing almost every chapter, I love reading what you have to say!**

_He looked around himself, trying to figure out where the heck he was! And then he remembered...it had happened to him, just like it had happened to Rose. He had a car accident, his car was thrown in a lake, and he was quickly drowning, water surrounding him completely._

_There was also someone on top of him._

_The little girl's eyes were closed and his own widened as he saw how unnaturally pale her body was. Like a Moroi's, but she wasn't a vampire..._

_He started shaking her as much as he could, but she wouldn't wake up...she was in a deep sleep that she wouldn't get out of..._

_His little girl was dead..._

"CHRISTIAN!" His eyes opened completely and he stood up, still shivering. Drops of sweat were running down his back and he had tears even in his eyes. It had all been so real...

"Come on, man...it was a nightmare, it wasn't real..."

"But it felt so...so..."

"Well it wasn't." Who the hell was talkig to him anyways. He looked up and stared right in the filled with sadness eyes of Eddie Castile. Eddie finally shut up and looked at him for a bit.

"Stop staring at me like that, it's creepy!" Snapped Christian. Why was he snapping like that...at his friend! He had nothing to do with it, after all.

"I'm sorry..." Eddie sighed and started with his lecture, like Christian knew he always did: "What the hell were you doing out in the rain, Christian? You should have known better just by looking up at the sky! You risked your life for nothing, yet you..."

"No." Replied Christian quietly. "It wasn't for nothing. I went looking for Rose."

"Oh, um..." Eddie suddenly looked uncomfortable. Was he hiding something? Christian had to ask him about that one later.

"She doesn't matter right now, she shouldn't be that far. RIght now I want to see Christina, that nightmare scared me quiet a bit."

"Um, yeah...about that..." Eddie's eyes suddenly shifted to the floor and Christian raised an eyebrow.

"What's going on, Eddie?"

Eddie's eyes filled with tears quickly and he kept looking down, avoiding Christian's eyes. Panic shot through the Moroi as he kept on staring at his friend, starting to think the worst.

Suddenly, the door behind them opened and closed quietly. A woman in a white coat that could only be a doctor came in and stood next to Christian's bed.

"Mr. Ozera, I'm so glad you're awake. I have some news about your daughter, Christina and I think you..."

"Just tell me what the hell I need to know!" Yelled Christian at her. He breathed in and out, trying to calm himself down. After all, she didn't deserve his anger either.

The doctor sighed.

"Do you want to hear the extended version, or do you want me to just say it?"

He looked at her expectantly, not saying anything.

She sighed and her eyes filled with tears like Eddie's, but, unlike Eddie, she looked him in the eyes.

"We took your daughter in at 4:52 in the morning two days ago. You were in...well, unconscious for a couple of days, but I think you'll be fine. However, your daughter wasn't quite as had hypothermia due to the cold water of the lake, because she was thrown out of the car. That in itself has brought internal bleeding to the brain and lungs, so when we managed to save her, she was barely breathing and her brain was not responding. We...we thought she was already dead, because her brain wasn't responsive, but when we took her to the hospital, we managed to perform an operation on her and we thought she'd be fine. And she was, really...but the lungs still weren't as responsive as we wanted them to be. Therefore, she was put on oxygen, not being able to breathe herself. We did everything we could, I promise you, but..she wasn't responding, and she never woke up, the internal bleeding and lack of oxygen stopped her from doing so...she...she's in a coma, Mr. Ozera. And we don't know when she'll wake up."

She didn't need to say the next part. Christian didn't need to hear that there was a bigger chance of his little butterfly _not_ waking up.

Anoxic brian injury, to be exact. One that happened from lack of oxygen. That's what her type of coma was called. Not that he cared.

All he cared about was the little numb creature underneath the thick covers of her bed that he saw when he was allowed to see her a couple hours later.

Her little body was pale, with some dark bruises covering her tiny hands that looked so weak...so weak...

Systems were attached to her mouth, feeding her when she couldn't do it herself and he felt his heart break as a nurse injected food through her hand, since she could no longer swallow.

His baby girl. His little butterfly, one filled with so much energy and passion for life. Laying down, not being able to wake up, or move...staying like this, forever...

Maybe never regaining consciousness.

He sat down next to her and held her hand, squeezing it maybe tighter than he should have, but he couldn't stop himself. Tears were falling down his cheeks, soaking his hospital nightgown, and he barely noticed nurses coming in, begging him to get something to eat and drink.

He didn't want to drink or eat. If his little butterfly couldn't do that by herself, if she was so unresponsive to life...then so was he.

So was he.

Three days had passed since he's sat down on that chair, doing nothing but sitting there. He hadn't been drinking, eating or moving, and he could already hear the doctors whispering about depression.

Despression. Well...he'd been through it before. He'd get over it again. Except...now that depression could kill him, for his love towards his little butterfly was so different than the one towards Lissa...it was much purer, much more innocent, and just...much more.

He had no eyes, nor ears for nothing, but his little butterfly. So it was to be understood when he didn't hear the door opening. In fact, he didn't hear Eddie at all, until he felt a light tap at his shoulder. He turned around, staring at his friend, yet not really seeing him.

"Hey, I..." Eddie didn't seem to know what to say. What _was_ there to say in a sutuation like this, really? "Listen, I..." He tried again, but found himself short of words. Because of that, he finally gave up and sighed.

His hand went inside his pocket, but Christian turned around, to look at his baby girl. From his peripheral vision, he saw Eddie leaving something behind, then quietly leave the room himself.

After what felt like forever, he finally decided to have a look at what Eddie had given him. So he looked behind him.

It was a letter. And it had one word ptinted on the front. Four letters in a handwriting that he would recognize anywhere.

_Rose_

The tears started to fall again...but this time, he couldn't. He couldn't look back to his past, at a time when he'd thought that he'd received his happily ever after. He couldn't.

Not now.

He began to pray.

He didn't know who to pray to: whether it was the doctors, or God itself. Whether he believed in a God, he didn't know either, but it was at times like these that he felt desperate to do something..._anything_.

He didn't know what to say, or how to say it, but he hoped the thought was enough. He knew the pain was more than enough.

It had been a week since she'd been like this. So...he couldn't think of a word that truly fit.

He hadn't stopped praying, hadn't stopped hoping, hadn't stopped hurting...

More than ever he found himself falling asleep with the tiny hope of her sparkly eyes being the first thing he saw in the morning. And it was every day that he woke up with tears in his eyes, crying out in despair when she still slept her peaceful, dangerous sleep.

He felt like there was something that he wasn't doing that he _could_ do, and he couldn't help but think that Rose's letter was that one thing he was missing. The small piece of the big picture.

He still wasn't ready, though...he couldn't just open the past that had been so well closed in that letter...he was afraid that if he opened and read what she had to say, that it will be over...everything. And he would be back where he was three years ago: a depressed man who was losing someone he loved very much. For little Christina was like an addiction to him: it was great when he had it, but when he started to lose it, he started feeling lost and depressed. He needed her like a dying man needed water, but she was leaving him and he felt hopeless, not knowing what to do.

Like mother, like daughter.

It was time to look at the letter...as afraid as he was, he knew he had to. He owed it to himself...to Rose. To both of them and to what they had had for those short, but blissful couple days that felt like they were from a previous life.

His hands shook as he ripped the envelope, and a small part of him hoped that he'd ripped the letter as well, so that he wouldn't be forced to read it.

He was right. It was ripped, but just on the edge. Like his heart.

He swallowed the bump he felt in his tight throat and began to read.

_Dear Christian,_

_I...I don't know what to say. How do you begin a letter, anyways? The sincerely yours part comes later, at the end. As a conclusion. But I'm not yours. And I won't be. I might have been once, a long time ago, in our bubble filled with teenage dreams. But now I'm far away, or at least I hope to be when you read this. I'll never be yours and I'm never coming back._

_You have to know that. You have to, Chris! Because, if you never understand how serious this is, you'll never move on! I asked Eddie to give you this letter, because I know if I did, or if I left it at the house, you would have followed me. You still did, anyways, even though you promised me you'd let me go if I wanted you to. But that's just you; it's just how you roll. And I forgive you for that._

_The second thing you need to know is that I'm not mad at you. I mean it. I'm not. I might have been long ago, but now all I feel is...nothing. There is nothing I feel towards you, except guilt for leading you on for such a long time._

_You said you loved me. And it scared me. Really. You shouldn't love me. I know you didn't mean it anyways. Like I said, I feel nothing for you, and at times I'm glad you said that I meant nothing to you either. That night we were honest to each other and I'm glad for that. It made me finally wake up and get out of the watery surface that I've been in since...since Lissa's death. I'd convinced myself that I felt something for you that I'd never felt...love was never there. At least for me._

_So you have to forget me. Please. Not for me, but for yourself. You need a better life. And if you don't feel like you should forget because of you, then do it because of Christina. Little Christina that I will always love. If she ever asks, then...then you can tell her whatever you want, maybe it's best if she thinks that I abanoned her. Because I did, in a way. I left her with you, because she deserves a good life. A life filled with running away and going from places to places isn't one she should live. It's one that I desreve, but not her. So take care of her and love her for the both of us. She deserves a gret father like you, and I know you'll be great. She doesn't deserve an unstable mother like myself, and although it pains me to leave and never see her again, I know you'll teach her the right things and she will grow up to be the great woman I never had the chance to be._

_Don't follow me. Don't. Don't make that mistake, because if you do, we'll fool each other again, and we will be together, but a time will come when I will hurt you again and again._

_Here's the part that I really wanted to say. God, I hate myself for doing this to you, because, despite everything...I realize that you __**have**__ become a great man and you deserve someone you love. Right now you might think that that someone is me, but that will change. I know it will, because it has to. It will be the right thing to do._

_I...I'm in love, Christian. I don't know how to put this, but I met a man who is wonderful, and I know now that...that what I felt for you was nothing compared to what I feel for him. I guess now I'm the mean one._

_There isn't much else to say about that, is there? There isn't much else to say about anything right now. You'll live through it. I know you will._

_So now, I have come to a conclusion. I don't know what you will do with your life. I don't want to know, and I can't tell you what to do. I guess that's what I've been trying to say all along. You'll live without me. It's the right thing to do and everyone knows it._

_Live your own life._

_I wish you best:_

_Rose_

He felt his whole body shiver in response to her letter and this time he really started crying. Sobbing, like a real man really shouldn't, but what could he do? The woman he loved the most had left him, and not just because of what he'd done to her. But because, in the short time that he'd been with her, she'd somehow managed to meet someone else.

She had never loved him. _Now_ he realized that.

"Daddy? Daddy please don't cly."

He froze, his eyes widening as he turned around.

And there she was. His little butterfly, her eyes wide open, trying to stand up, not being able to because of all the systems around her.

Without caring, he ripped all the systems from her and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her and put her on his lap. She yawned and stretched, her fingers forming tight little fists.

"Daddy, I had a big nap, didn't I?" She asked, looking at him with her big eyes.

"Yes, you did, my little butterfly. But don't worry. You'll be fine now."

She was going to be fine. For now. And that was all he needed.

But Rose...she was gone. Forever. Never again would he touch her, hold her, make love to her...

There was someone else.

Suddenly, he didn't know why he cried: whether because he was so happy that his butterfly was finally awake, or...because of that someone else.

She'd written him a Dear John letter.

**Mixed ending! Haha, hope you enjoyed it. Please Review :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys, a couple of you are probably confused by Rose's letter. You'll find out in the next couple chapters what it really means :) Have fun! **

_4 and a half years afterwards_

"Miss, I beg you!" The singing continued. "Miss, please, you'll..." The singing continued followed by giggling. "Miss Christina, you'll wake your father, please?"

The little girl giggled and planted a kiss on the maid's hard cheek.

"Don't worry, Mimmy...Daddy loves me too much and he's not going to be mad. Besides, he has to wake up soon."

The maid sighed.

"Well, Miss, you father _is_ a kind man, but you do have a point; he's late for the wedding!" She looked at the little girl and winked. "How do you feel about your dad being the special man at the wedding?"

Christina thought for a minute and laughed.

"Well...I have to say I'm definitely surprised." She looked up longingly at her father's bedroom door and suddenly her eyes sparkled, filling with mishief. "I've an idea, Mimmy!"

The maid's eyes widened with horror.

"Miss, no!"

But the little girl just smiled, winked at her friend and started to hop up the stairs.

"Miss, no!" The little girl kept on going up the stairs, with the maid following close behind. "Miss, I beg you! Ths is the third time this week!"

"The third time this week that he's late getting up!"

"Miss, the other times were weekends!"

"Yes, but he knows I'll wake him up anyways!"

"Miss, please, let your father rest! For five more minutes!"

"He's got enough time to rest for now, he went to bed early! I'm going to get him!"

The exasperated maid let the little girl go do her thing. After all, Master Christian had mentioned more than once (when his daughter wasn't in the room, of course) that Christina had the spirit or her mother. Which didn't absolutely mean a bad thing, but still...

Christina opened the bedroom door and went inside her father's room. A couple seconds later a male yelp that was anything but appropriate for a twenty-six year-old man was heard and Christina's giggle filled the hallway. Mimmy smiled and decided to let them be.

"Daddy, Daddy, wake up!" Sang Christina, looking at him with joy.

He rubbed his eyes in a tired sort of way and stared at his daughter.

"Who knew a seven year-old could be so annoying?" He said to himself and frowned, which earned him a kiss on the cheek.

"Daddy, don't be mad...you'll be late for the wedding!"

"It's not like it's _my _wedding!" he said, still upset.

"It might as well be! You and..." She couldn't finish her sentence, for her face reddened and she whimpered as she started to cough uncontrollably.

"MISS!" screamed Mimmy from downstairs and started to run up to their room. Christian caught her small body in his arms and held it close to him, yelling:

"Get the doctor!"

"No..." whimpered Christina and caught her father's pajama top with her tiny fingers, trying to squeeze and not being able to. "Don't...we have to go..."

Then, as son as it had started, her coughing stopped. She whimpered again, tears appearing in her eyes, and her father held her close.

"Don't leave, Daddy...don't leave, like Mother..." she whispered, crying on his chest.

He hid his own face in her thick black hair and let go of his tears as they wettened his hair.

"I promise, my butterfly." he shiwpered back. "I promise."

...

The wedding was as all weddings go. The formal attire, the girls wearing beautiful, expensive dresses and trying, yet usually failing, to look better than the bride.

And the bride herself? Standing up in the tiny room used for changing, looking at herself in the mirror, shivering once in a while nervously.

A knock at the door startled her and she let out a tiny scream.

"Come...come in!" Her voice was still a bit squeaky, like it had been four years ago, but she was no longer the woman Christian had known. She'd changed into something completely different.

Christian came in, looking aroudn as though looking for something.

"Hello?" he yelled. "Is there a bride here?"

She giggled, something she didn't do as much as she used to, and took his hand, letting him in and slamming the door behind them.

He just stared at her, as though checking her out.

"My, my...the bride _is_ something! Too bad that dress will probably be ripped before the end of the night." That earned him a punch that hurt quite a bit.

"Shut up! You know Adrian really isn't like that in..."

"I really don't want to know what Adrian's like in bed, but thanks. I'm just the best man and I'll do what I have to..."

"Well, currently, you have to be helping Adrian, which translates into doing your best to keep him away from the drinking booth...oh, and helping him dress."

"Oh, I'm dying to see his expensive silky underwear. Did I mention it's probably pink?"

The bride was already pushing him out the door.

"Go! Go help him!"

"Alright, alright...I'm going! Jeez, you're still as persistent as you were before, if not even more."

...

Another door was being knocked on, but instead of the last response, Christian received a:

"What the hell do you want?!"

"Wow, someone's nervous!" laughed Christian and ducked as soon as a shoe was thrown at him.

"Damn it, that was the pair I needed to wear. Be kind and go get it for me, will ya?"

Christian bowed and smiled at him sarcastically.

"At your service, my lord." He made sure Adrian could tell he was teasing and went to pick up the missing shoe.

When he came back, he could definitely smell alcohol on his friend. The two men stared at each other and sudenly, both of them burst into laughter.

"Who would have thought my best friend was getting married?" Wondered Christian out loud, still laughing.

"Who would have thought I would have married her? And worse, how did you get to me by best man?" responded Adrian with a question of his own.

Christian shrugged.

"Do you have other male friends?"

Adrian seemed to think about it, after which he shrugged.

"Probably. Not after the many girlfriends I've had, though. You know, I thought after dating Rose in high school, you..."

"Don't." Replied Christian. "Don't go there.

"Look, Christian, I don't..."

"I said DON'T!" yelled out Christian and fire appeared in his eyes, just like it had on that morning four years ago. "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO FELL, WHAT TO THINK! YOU DON'T KNOW, YOU DON'T..." He had no more words left in him. Broken, he felt tears in his eyes and before they betrayed how truly upset he was, he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

He sat on the staircase and felt the hot tears finally betraying him as he cursed quietly.

There was someone else. Someone else in her life to hold her, make love to her, whisper in her ear how much she meant to him...

How could there be another? When was there a time when he'd left Rose alone, lonng enough for her to feel something as strong as love towards someone else?

He'd long ago figured out that, somewhere along the letter, she'd created a loop in which he was stuck. She'd lied about something, if not about everything, but for what? And why? Did she so badly want him to be as far away from her that she would stoop so low to lie to not only him, but to his daughter? Now his baby girl lived, waking up at night while screaming, crying during the days when she saw other little girls playing with their mother on the playground. Never would Christina know what it is like to feel Mother's arms around her again. Because it just wasn't possible. Christian doubted any other woman could take Rose's place not just in Christina's heart, but his own. There would never be a woman as extraordinary as Rose. Never.

He heard her small feet before he felt her even smaller hands wrap around him and kiss his cheek.

"Don't cry, Daddy." she whispered in his ear and he turned around to look at her.

"You heard." It wasn't a question. She nodded and sat on his lap, her hands around his neck now.

"I heard how you fought with Uncle Adrian, Daddy. But please don't be mad. It's his day, not yours. Besides, Daddy...no one knows how Mother's hurt us. She left us, so why bother looking back?"

Had it been anyone else, he would be yelling by now. But this was Christina, his little butterfly, the only person in the world who could relate to his pain, because she too lived without a Rose in her life.

Christina leaned towards the bars on the staircase. Because of the wedding they'd been wrapped in the bride's favorite flowers, in this case roses. The tiny hands unwrapped a red rose and quietly unwrapped her fingers from it, to put the bigger, stronger ones of her father where hers had been not too long ago. His fingers squeezed the rose, until he winced as a thorn cut his skin. Both father and daughter watched as drops of blood fell on the ground. It was so quiet that they could almost hear the sound of the blood hitting the hard wood.

Christina wiped her father's eyes and looked at blood, smiling softly.

"You know Aunt Monica's going to be unhappy that she has to marry under blood, Daddy. And you know how she gets when she's unhappy."

Her father laughed and lifted her up, enjoying the feel of her tiny hands still wrappped around him.

"Well, Aunt Monica's always been a bit weird." He put her on the ground and kissed her cheek. "By the way, butterfly...you owe me a dance later. After all, you're my lady for the wedding. Now go help the bride."

Christina giggled and ran down the stairs to the bride.

...

Who would have thought, as the groom had said, that Monica, Christian's old..."friend", would have ended up the way that she had. Something in Christian's speech form four years ago had changed her. It was like something had finally snapped inside her and that seemed to be all she needed to put her life together. She'd gotten herself to Court, where she had met Adrian Ivashkov, and, strangely, things seemed to work out for them. She'd quickly become his Guardian, and, from today and from there on, his wife.

Christian watched as both of them said their "I do's" and couldn't help but cry just like all the rest around him. It wasn't because of joy, although he guessed that was hidden somewhere in there as well. It was because of sadness, of hurt. He couldn't but wonder how his life would have turned out if he'd been on Adrian's place, with Rose as a bride. Today, he knew, should have been their happy day, their one day of the year that they would get to feel like they're truly getting together, the one time they would say "I love you" in front of everybody and mean it...

He would never get over Rose leaving. He knew that now, although it took him three years to realize it. He'd tried to date other women, but everything had ended up in the bedroom, where he couldn't even help them out of their dresses before he had to say that he couldn't as he broke down over Rose's remindment. She was around him all the time, yet she wasn't. She'd left things of hers behind like some clothes in his closet and perfumes in his bathroom. She'd also left Lissa's teddy bear to her daughter, and as he looked at it, it kept on reminding him of the two women he'd loved, both of which he'd lost, partly because it was his fault and partly because of fate. He'd wanted to throw away the teddy bear, rip it apart just like those two women had ripped his own heart, but he couldn't. Christina, still a baby then, had taken it in her arms and whimpered a "No, Daddy" which was all it took. The teddy bear was to stay.

As the wedding ceremony that was so happily painful to watch finally came to and end and dinner time came. Christian, being the best man, had to make the first toast and he wasn't sure what to say at the beginning, he wasn't one to write speeches. But as soon as he got up to, ready to make up the stupidest of excuses ever, he knew what to say.

It wasn't time for his painfully sarcastic jokes. It was time for reality. He lifted his glass and decided to start what was alredy going to be a heartbreaking night.

"I knew Monica from the time that she was who she thought she should be: Mone. I hated that nickname, but inside her I saw a woman I thought was right for me. I've known Adrian practically my whole life, and I never thought you were right for each other. But now I see; things didn't work out between me and Mone, yet now I know that they never would have no matter how hard we tried. Fate was just waiting for Adrian to show up in her life and sweep her off her feet, to love her like she deserves to be loved. For those two love birds, who I hope have a happy life together, even if it's not going to be easy. I wish you two the best, and I hope that one day I'm going to experience such an earth-shattering love as you two obviously have."

People started clapping, the women already crying, but he still heard the bride's whisper:

"You've already felt that love." And it was like his heart breaking all over again. He smiled and sat down, doing his best not to start breaking down again. Christina, who was sitting next to him, poked him and stuck her tongue out at him in an "I'm seven years old and I'm not afraid to admit it" way.

The dinner went smoothly, and then it was time for the dancing to start. He had to dance with the annoying maid of honor who, after learning that he was rich and seeing that he was obviously attractive, was definitely trying to hit on him. He excused himself after the third dance, because it was becoming apparent that she wouldn't let him go for the rest of the night.

He knew he owed one certain little lady a dance.

"Can I have this dance, Miss?" he offered his hand to his daughter and her eyes widened for a minute in a pretend shock.

"How dare you, I've already got my boyfriend." She pointed to a chubby six year old who was sitting a couple tables ahead, looking like he really didn't know what he was doing there.

She still took his hand, after assuring him that her "boyfriend" wouldn't mind if she danced with someone else.

On the dancing floor, Christina was unusually quiet. Usually, she talked just as much as her mother had, if not even more. She was also as sarcastic as her father, which only made things worse. But tonight, she didn't seem to say a word, until one sentence had her father frozen in one place.

"One day, you'll be dancing with Mother like this." she said calmly, as though they were duscussing the weather.

He swallowed, but the bump he felt in his thrat wouldn't go away.

"My butterfly...Mother isn't..."

"No!" whispered Christina, but he still heard her over the music. "You _will be_ with Mother at one point of time. I'll still be here to see you together."

She hugged him, her hands wrapping around his waist and squeezing as tight as she could.

All he could do was stand there and let a couple tears fall. For his Rose, for his life tht was nothing he'd expected and...for his little girl.

_I'll still be here to see you together..._


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys! I know, the last chapter kind of sucked, so hopefully this one isn't that bad :) **

"Hathaway!" The voice was so loud, it made her ears pound. She winced as he yelled her name again, making everybody turn around.

"Hathaway! Someone's on the phone for ya! Get your ass back here!"

She sighed, wishing she could kick his ass. After all, he _was_ only human.

"Give me a minute!" She went towards the next table and took their order before going in the back of the kitchen.

Being a waitress seriously sucked sometimes. Especially when your boss was a human and you were nowhere near being a guardian.

Her mother had left her, refusing to talk to her after Rose basically destroyed her own life. That meant that the only person Rose thought she could count on was gone.

Just like everybody else, she'd left them or they'd left her, and here she was, all alone...

She listened patiently on the phone without responding for quite a while, which was surprising, since this _was_ Rose Hathaway.

"Rose? Did you hear me?" The voice asked on the other side, sounding a bit hysterical.

"Yes, I heard you. And yeah...I'll see you there in twenty minutes. Goodbye, Dimitri."

...

Dimitri Belikov hadn't really changed for the past couple years since she'd seen him. More like...oh, 8 years. He was still a foot taller than her, still as kind as she'd always found him to be, still a bad guardian and...a father.

He didn't bring his son Nikolay over, but Rose knew about him from the four phone calls she'd had with Dimitri the past four years. He called every Janurary to wish her a happy new year and ask how things were. Sometimes she wished he called more often and that they'd even see each other, but being that he was married to Tasha...well...the situation there was quite delicate.

He'd decided to finally come see her, at least for a while, make sure she was okay.

She didn't know what to think of his visit. He kissed her cheek, hugged her and pointed to the seat in front of him, indicating that she was to sit down. Yet sit down for what? It had been nine years since they'd last kissed, and eight since she'd last seen him. Eight years! What could anyone possibly want after egiht years?

They stood still in their chairs, just staring at each other, as though taking in all the differences between them.

"So...how's the kid?" asked Rose finally, not knowing what to say. "He has to be, what...four years old?"

"Six." chuckled Dimitri in his old way, that helped Rose relax a little. "And actually, it's kids right now."

Wow. Good news?

"That's great news, Dimitri! How are the kids doing then?" Rose changed her question, trying to sound excited.

"Great. Nikolay is still excited over the kid stake he got for his birthday, and Natalia just started walking." He took out his wallet to show her a kid with a messy hair that looked like a tiny Dimitri and a small thing that looked more like a chubby watermelon than anything else. Rose didn't know what to say, so she just smiled.

And here they were again, at a pregnant pause. Rose decided to break it again.

"Wow, look at you!" she exclaimed with a fake excitement. "With a famliy and kids in a big house and guarding. That must be a dream come true, huh?"

Dimitri tried to stifle a smlie, but couldn't and suddenly burst out laughing.

"You were never a good actress and you know it Rose!" He laughed and again and shook his head. "But yes, you are kind of right, it is a dream come true...but I'm old! When did i turn 33, huh?"

This time Rose truly laughed and pit her hand on his.

"Yeah, how can you seduct young high-school girls now, huh?" They both giggled, remembering what it had once been.

She had to admit, they hadn't done much of "training". Every session had started with them fighting about whether it was right or wrong to keep on having a secret relationship, and ended with them making out wherever they could. In all honesty, even thought Rose didn't see it (thankfully, or she would have probaby freaked out), Dimitri still saw the girl that would have done anything to protect everything and everyone from whatever came up. To him, she was still the caring girl that loved and laughed and talked too much no matter in what situation. The only difference was, now she was a woman, once that was hiding her true self behind a veil filled with pain.

Dimitri sighed and took both her hands in his, squeezing her fingers.

"How are you,Rose?" He asked cautiously, as though stepping on thin ice.

It was like a bucket of freezing water was thron on her, finally letting her back in reality, instead of letting her keep on daydreaming and hoping that one day something will change.

"I'm fine." she responded, looking down at her sneakers. Dimitri lifted her head, but refused to look him in the eyes and he saw a tear fall down her cheek.

"Rose." he said in the tone of a teacher, causing the tear to fall down on the table. "How are you?"

She looked at him then, feeling more tears appear in her eyes, but refuisng to let them down her cheeks. She pulled her hands away from his and finally looked him in the eyes.

"Perfect!" Her voice shook and suddenly the stupid tears started to fall, betraying her. Her voice kept on shaking. "I'm working sixty hours a week to afford the stupid appartment that I'm getting because of a stupis job I hate! Also, my boss treats me like a whore and I live all by myself, having lost the opportunity to guard. All that I've caused all by myself and no one's helped me!" She broke down then, letting her fist hit the table hard enough that it actually hurt, but she didn't care.

She sat back down, just as Dimitri stood up to satnd by her side. He hugged her then, as a friend and nothing more, of course.

"No, you haven't. You don't deserve this..." he whispered in her ear just so that people wouldn't hear their conversation.

Rose laughed despite her tears and wiped her eyes with her knuckles like a little child. The thought, though, made her think of _her_ child and she felt even worse.

"You say all this because...you're my friend. You're supposed to soay something like this." she answered, covering her face with her hair, embarassed that she was actually crying in public.

Dimitri laughed despite everything.

"Well, yeah...I'm supposed to say that...but that doesn't mean it's not true." He hugged her and she left herself be babied for a couple of seconds, before pulling away.

"I...I have to go back to work." She used that as an excuse, although she knew the truth. She'd been fired from her job just for deciding to leave in the middle of work to see Dimitri.

"I thought they fired you." She looked at him in shock, wondering how he knew and he laughed. "I figured that out,since you said you'd see me that soon during worktime." He winked at her, then pointned to his car that was a little down the road. "How about you otry to start a new life?"

"But, I..." Rose didn't know what to say. What could she say to an offer like this?

He shook his head.

"I'm not taking no for an answer." With that, he pulled her out of the chair so hard that he almost lifted her and started to drag her out to the car. Not that she needed more convincing. She hated this place.

...

Inside the car, Dimitri had the radio on the old songs station and he was singing to a song that had probably been released three hundred years ago.

"You're never going to change your tastes, are you? Even after eight years worth of music, you're still listening to...whomever?"

"Billy Joel." Responded Dimitri and turned up the music higher for a couple seconds, trying and failing to not laugh.

After he turned the music down, he quieted down and just stared at the road. She knew he was going back to his guardian mode and it didn't occur to her that he was upset at all, until he said:

"Why, Rose?"

She knew he was talking about her and Christian and opened her mouth to tell him it's none of his business when he continued:

"Why did you leave me? What did I do that made you,well...dumped me?" He swallowed loudly. "I mean, I thought I treated you nicely and didn't force you into anything, yet...you left and you nver really explained. I...I'm worried I did something and..." He swallowed again and she tried to force herself to look at him, ven though deep down inside she didn't want to. After all, he was so confused that she felt like she should explain.

"You didn't do _anything_, Dimitri. It was all me. I...broke down when Lissa died and I didn't feel like doing anything. Everything changed and nothing stayed the same anymore, plus I realized that loving you was dangerous for the both of us. I assure you that I did love you at one point of time, but I guess I loved you more like...well, like a brother that I've always wanted rather than like a lover. And I feel like that's the way it's supposed to be, that I shouldn't fall in love with you, but that I should still love you." It was a confusing answer and she knew it, but she nodded at herself as though to confirm what she thought. Dimitri nodded also, but he didn't look too happy, even though he'd just receivd an answer that he'd been looking for for years.

They kept on driving, but neither said anything for the rest of the drive. They just kept on staring at the road and Rose kept on thinkingv about what her life might have been.

Had she not left now, she would've probably seen Christian drunk once or twice more. He might've yelled at her again, told her she wasn't worth anything and maybe even hit her again. She knew it had happened before and that it would possibly happen again.

But what about the good parts? She would get to enjoy Christina's childhood, feel loved and actually in her place, having a family. Besides, it wasn't like the sex had been that bad either...

So many opportunities in which she could've chosen differently, yet why was she alone? Why wasn't she with Christian and their daughter, possibly kissing him right now or helping Christina with some type of homework in which she'd have to write a boring essay on topic "What I did this Summer".

The only reason she could really think of was that she was afraid. Afraid of what was going to happen if she did stay. She could've been hurt and dissapointed more than once and it all could've ended as her running away again and hiing for years, in a district that had a horrible school or even none at all. She could end up in a horrible apartment where she was paying too much and crying herself to sleep, like she had when Christina had been born.

In the long run, she could've gone either way. But she'd decided one way in which she could protect her heart the most form being broken for the who knows which time. She'd made the right decision.

Then why was her heart longing for Christian, the way his body felt close to hers, the way his lips moved with hers, and the sweet things he could do when he set his mind to it?

...

She'd fallen asleep somewhere along the ride and she woke up to a gentle nudge on the shoulder. Moving around, she felt a jacket that had apparently been wrapped around her fall to the floor. She bent to pick it up and as soon as she got back up, she gasped.

It was all so familiar. They were in the deep woods that were behind his house. Except the house they were in front of seemed to be on the other side of the woods. The woods she'd watched every morning out of the window as she made coffe and cereal for what she once had believed could be been her family...

She was back in Christian's town.

And even after four and a half years of hiding what was real, she felt her walls crash down without her permission and all those old feelings came pouring down, filling her body completely...

**Cliffhanger! Hopefully the story now will get a little more interesting. So do you guys think she still loves Christian, even after all she said? What were all of those feelings that "came pouring down"? And...of, course, the question you're probably all asking...will she meet Christian?**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey! Don't really have anything to say, except...have fun reading! And I'm sure you'll definitely enjoy this chapter.**

"Daddy!"

Christian opened his eyes and stared right into his own, except they belonged to a certain young lady that was looking at him, a bit upset.

"You were supposed to get up three hours ago." she murmured and hid under the covers, laying on his stonmach and starting to punch him.

He moaned, pretending to be hurting and she couldn't help but giggle.

"Ow, I'm being killed, it's horrible! NO, someone help me!"

Christina suddenly stopped, looking at him and froze. She whimpered and he was at her side again, scared that this was it, that she was going to cough and...

NO! She was here with him, wasn't she? Her body was strong enough for it...she was going to be fine...his baby girl.

"Daddy..." She whimpered agin and tears appeared in her eyes.

"What's wrong, my butterfly?" When she froze and wouldn't move, he grew afraid again and shook her arms. "Are you okay, what's wrong? Tell me!" He kept on shaking her, afraid of losing her. She was all he had left, yet...

"It shouldn't be me waking you up, Daddy!" She cried out, her face becoming puffy as the tears fell. "She should wake you up, she should kiss you when you get up and you should hug her and say you love her. She should be here instead of me in this big bed, Daddy! This bed is too big for you and she should fill it!"

"Who?" Asked Christian, although he knew who she meant. "Who do you mean, butterfly?"

"I mean Mother, Daddy!" She cried out, but Christian knew it wasn't of physical pain. "Where is she, Daddy? Where is Mother? What did I do that she left? Was I a bad girl when I was two, Daddy? Did she get mad at me, Daddy?"

He knew he was crying before he felt the tears fall down his cheeks. He swallowed, but the bump in his throat wouldn't go away.

"It wasn't you, butterfly." He said quietly. "You did nothing."

"Then where is she, Daddy? Why haven't we a happy family like the other kids at school do?"

He spead his arms and she fell into them, squeezing him and getting his shirt wet. It wasn't the first time that she thought of her Mother randomly, and it wasn't going to be the first time that Christian's heart was going to break into pieces.

"It's not for us, butterfly. It's just...not who we are meant to be..."

...

Christian knew that only one place could calm Christina down. There was only one place where she could relax and forget about the sad parts of her childhood.

She jumped out of the car as soon as they arrived at the park and he followed her as she ran by one of the playgrounds. There was a coffee shop near the playground and Christian decided to order something there. He ordered a coffee for himself and a chocolate shake for his baby girl.

As he slowly drank the hot liquid, he kept on looking at the playground, followed Christina's movements carefully, made sure that she wouldn't fall and hurt herself. She looked happy, but he knew that only he would see the sorrow in her eyes, one that belonged to the heart-broken twenty year-olds and shouldn't be seen in a seven year old.

It hurt him to know that, no matter how hard he'd tried, his little butterfly would always be different from all the children. A lot of people called her gifted, a genius in drawing, but he couldn't look at her pictures. She'd started drawing when she was four, and even though she could barely write an A, her hand was so delicate when it came to drawing and picking up the pencils, sharpening them and picking the right colors. It had taken one look at her pictures to know what was being drawn, and as the leaves dissapeared on the ground and winter arrived, little Christmas trees began to appear with a golden star on top. She always seemed distracted, and doctors had more than once told Christian that his daughter might have some diseases that prevented concentration. He always shook his head and showed them the pictures, the eyes so carefully drawn, the colors never getting out of the lines. She couldn't and wouldn't write a good story, but when it came to drawing, she could poar her heart on just a piece of paper with one broken pencil found on the floor that everybody had forgotten. She drew of seasons and would always delight in telling him how wonderful nature seemed to her, especially the leaves changing color and falling down, the flowers opening for the spring and then closing again for the winter.

He couldn't and wouldn't look at her pictures no matter what. She helf the pencil that certain way, tied her hair back in that exact way, sat in the same position, got the same expression...she so reminded him of her that it pained him sometimes to look at her. But it was when she drew that the little details appeared out of the big picture and he could see how so like her mother Christina was...and so were her pictures, which was none of them were stuck on the fridge or put in the dining room for pride, like other parents did. It just hurt too much.

He didn't know how long he'd keep on hurting. Was this was his life was supposed to be? And empty paper that Christina wouldn't be able to draw on, because the paper swallowed all the bright colors and wouldn't let the darker ones in. He wasn't sad. He wasn't happy. He was just...numb.

Numb.

She was beautiful, she was sexy and she was kind...in her own way. She was everything he'd wanted in a woman and many things he guessed he didn't want and...

She was here.

He didn't know how he knew. He didn't see her or anything, he just...knew.

He looked around, wondering how he actually knew, when he saw a woman with a long dark hair and knew that he'd got it.

He'd found the woman that had placed the best joy and the worst shit in his life.

She seemed to be looking for something. He could tell she was alone by the way that she finally sat on a table and took a menu, looking through it. A couple seconds later, a waitress came to her table, holding a pen and a writing pad in her hands, looking ored out of her wits. Rose tried to smile, but Christian knew he was nervous. He knew everything about her, it seemed.

He couldn't help but stare. He knew he should look away and pretend he'd never even known her. It was the wise thing to do. Everyone in their brother knew she'd caused him enough pain for a lifetime, and he'd barely begun his life. But he couldn't not stare, he just had to.

And oh, was she beautiful. She'd been incredibly seductive to begin with when she was abrely seventeen. She'd gotten better at twenty one and now, at twenty six, she was drop dead gorgeous. The type of woman that he could just be in the same room with and feel okay. But oh, was she a temptation. He needed her just like a dying man needed water and he hoped, pleaded that she would look at him, just once.

And oh, did she look. Her eyes scanned the coffee shop and she finally saw him. Her whole body froze, a reaction he knew he should have expected, but it still pained him. It was like his heart breaking all over again, to even smaller pieces than it had to begin with.

Quicker than she could, she yelled for the waitress, canceling her order. She looked around for a bag, but she wasn't carrying one, so she quickly stood up. The chair fell down and she bent to pick it up, but gave up halfway and just started to walk quickly out of the coffee shop, almost running.

He knew then what to do. Christina was still playing, hopefully she wouldn't look for him. His driver could watch out for her. He had a little butterfly to keep. But his bigger butterfly was flying out of her nest and he had to stop her before it was too late.

Leaving a twenty dollar bill on the table, he grabbed his jacket and started to walk in her direction, trying to keep up with her. Her dhampir hearing might not have been as good as his, but she still heard him. He didn't know how she knew it was him, maybe she just had the same feeling that he did. Her pace increased and at one point of time she started running and he ran after her. Man, was it tiring; she'd been a trained Guardian after all. But in that moment, his increased adrenaline kept him from falling behind and he ran faster than he ever had done so in his whole life.

He didn't say anything. He didn't yell at her to stop. If anything, he'd learned from before that she hated to be yelled at and that she would have been less likely to listen to him. He didn't know what exactly he was going to say to her, but he at least knew that when the time came, he would know what to say. Or at least, he hoped he did.

When she stopped in front of the entrance, he thought he had her. The gate was closed and he was coming after her, which trapped her in a position she was probably less than thrilled about. He was so triumphant and he increased his pace just a little, hoping it was enough.

He should have known that she was going to think of something. She always did. But, as usual, when excited, he didn't really think and so when the door of the ladies' restroom closed behind her, he felt his mind go blank.

She must have been desperate. So desperate that she would get herself stuck in a restroom just so that she could get rid of him? Well, he was going to stay in front of the restroom for as long as he had to. She had to come out at some point of time.

Only then did he realize that the restroom had two exits. One from the inside of the park and one...from the outside.

Without thinking, he opened the door and ran inside.

The other exit was just opening up and he saw her dark hair cover her beautiful face for a second as the wind blew in her direction. Before she could step out, though, he yanked her hand and pushed her against the bathroom wall.

She fought him, of course, and he should have expected that. But somewhere inside of him, he found the strength to fight her and keep her pressed against the wall. He pressed his body against her and just for a moment, he remembered what it was like to be so close to her and all the old feelings he'd been trying to keep in came rushing back out.

She looked at him, tears forming in her eyes. He stared at her quietly, then said with no emotion in his voice:

"Just say it."

"I hate you!" She screamed at him.

He shook his head.

"No, you don't." He responded just as calmly as he had before.

"Yes, I do!" She hit his chest with one of her hands, but he didn't feel anything. The physical pain had nothing to do with the emotional one.

"No, you don't." He repeated again. She tried to fight him, opening her mouth to probably scream something emotionless again. Before she could say something, though, he bent down and pressed his lips to hers.

Her lips were soft and gentle, just like he remembered them. He didn't know if what he did was okay...but it felt right.

He soon tasted tears and knew that she was crying. She was so desperate and he knew she was fighting him with the last of her strength, trying to pull up the wall again. That stupid wall thaht had separated them four years ago.

Yes, maybe they were separated now, he decided. Maybe it would be like this forever. But not now. He would love her now, and pretend just for once that he was whispering words of affection in their bedroom once more, as though they were together once more.

Her tears became more and more, but she responded to the kiss and he felt her body relax as she finally gave into him. Her hands wrapped around his neck and he lifted her, her feet around his waist now.

They didn't waste time into undressing each other. Her zipper came down, his buttons were taken out of its place. His hand found its way into her jeans and he gently took off her underwear as she pulled down his boxers.

They were still completely dressed, their bottoms around their waists. But now they were together, their bodies connecting and he stilled for a minute, if only to just remember what it was like to be with her...inside her.

Slowly, as though afraid that he might break her, he started to thrust inside of her. Their lips disconnected and she let her head hit the wall, without caring for the pain. All she felt was pleasure.

He watched her face as it changed from despair to pure pleasure and he pressed her closer against the wall, so she won't fall down. One of his hands came up to touch a streak of her hair, and then more. Soon, he was gently running his hands through her hair, remembering how soft it once was and how even prettier it seemed now.

His other hand touched her cheek softly, and then went down. He pressed at the crook of her neck and she moaned as he wiped some of the sweat that was starting to appear. His hand went even lower, caressing her breasts through her shirt for just a second, before he went even lower, going underneath her shirt to touch her stomach for a little while. He kept his hand pressed there, feeling the shivers of her body that _he_ and no one else was causing. His hand went even louder and found itself between her legs, placing his hand right above where their bodies were joined. He ran his hand though her clitoris for a minute and was rewarded with a loud scream. He himself moaned as he felt himself get close and pressed himself even closer to her, their bodies almost glued together by now.

Her hands left his neck and went lower, to his waist. There, she lifted his shirt and went underneath it, finding his arms and squeezing on his tight muscles, loving the way they felt when he moved inside her, all of his muscles tensing with every thrust, his pace getting faster and faster with every second.

Soon, as though he couldn't stop himself from doing so, he moaned especially loud and buried his head in her neck, his teeth biting into her. She gasped in surprise as soon as she felt the moment of pain and then gasped in pleasure as her started to drink from her.

It wasn't dirty. She had been taught it was, but now she knew how some women like her felt. They didn't feel like worthless blood whores, at least not the ones in love. They felt like they were in heaven, or their version of it, and it was the best feeling in the world, if only for a while.

And oh, she loved him. She loved him so much she couldn't deny that and just the realization made her shiver. Finally, she was admitting her feelings towards him to herself, and she let her wall crush down completely, letting all of her feelings come back in. As though feeling that something had changed, Christian had increased his pace, and now they were both so close, that none of them even knew what happened at that exact moment.

With one last thrust, both of them screamed each other's names at the eaxt same time and came together, wrapped in each other's arms.

**I just had to put a small lemon in here since you haven't read one in so long, and hopefully you no longer hate this story :D Review and tell me what you think...also, are they back together, or...?**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey guys! Sorry it's a day late...I had so much to do yesterday :(**

It took them quite a while to get over themselves. Quite a while for Chrisitian to realize who he was holding, and for Rose to realize who she was holding on to. As soon as she came to her senses, Christian heard what sounded like a kick and then he fell on the floor, feeling the worst of pains in between his legs.

"What the..." he managed to moan before he completely lost it.

A couple seconds later, he opened hsi eyes to look at what looked like a mix of the devil and someone he'd just slept with. He didn't know what to say, and what was there to say, really? When he'd had casual sex, he usually left right after without looking back. It was what he was used to.

But Rose wasn't just casual sex. She was more, way more. For starters, the least he could say about her was that she was the mother of his child. True, a very selfish, unthoughtful, stupid, irresistible slut that...

Did he just call her that? Yeah...so she wasn't the only one that was currently mad.

He managed to zip his pants and stood up, ignoring the pain.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled at her, doing his best to ignore the urge to spit at her, then leave.

"Me? I wasn't the one who basically became a rapist in the past half hour! It wasn't as though you were such a great guy to begin with, and now..."

"Oh, please! You wanted me as much as I wanted you! It was physical, and if you told me it didn't feel good when I made you cum, then you're such a liar, among everything else! That guy you left me for isn't that good in bed, huh, Rose? He didn't make you feel that in the past half hour, did he?"

Rose blushed, but did her best to remain neutral. She didn't want to tell him that here had been _no one_ that had made her cum in the past...well...okay, as embarassing as it sounds, four and a half years. There, she said it.

"That..." she said quietly, but in a dangerous voice. "...is none of your business."

"Oh, really? So it's none of my business that you left to go get fucked and didn't bother to at least check on your daughter _once_ for the past...well, almost five years? Do you know that her birthday is next month, Rose? She's turning..."

"I know that she'll be eight, damn it!" Snapped Rose, trying no to fall apart. It hurt so much to think of her little baby girl, the one that she'd sacrificed all her happiness for. "Do you think I've forgotten her after all these years? What type of a mother would that make me?"

"Oh, gee, I don't know...someone who's abandoned her family? You know what, forget Christina for a minute. What about me, what was I supposed to do when you left? Maybe my whole life was supposed to be singing lullabies to a crying toddler who's begging me to find 'Mother'? Should I have told her she left to go get screwed by someone else? Or should I..."

"Why are we always fighting?" Rose kicked at the only trashcan that was in the bathroom. She felt a pain in her toes for a while, but ignored it just like Christian had ignored his pain. "Why can't we just have a normal conversation in which..."

"Because you're always screwing up, that's why Rose! What are you even doing..."

"ME? So _I'm_ the one that 'screwing up'? What about you and your mistakes? You know you've..." She decided to stop, because...did it really matter who was at fault now? "What do you want me to do, Christian? Because you seem like you don't even know what you want yourself."

Christian opened his mouth to yell something back in an 'Ozera Style'. But he closed it and thought about it. What did he really want? Did he want her to apologize about what she'd done? Yes. Did he want her to take Christina back? NO! Did her want her to come back to him?

Well...now _that_ was debatable. He wasn't exactly sure _what_ he wanted and he just realized that Rose just happened to be _so_ right. It didn't feel good. But what _did_ he want?

Something. He knew he wanted something, that was the good part. The bad part was, he wasn't sure _what _he wanted.

He was _so_ screwed. He sighed and decided to start with something simple.

"I want you to go back to see our daughter. Whether you stay or not, I don't really care. Currently, now that I'm thinkin rationally, at least, I don't know whether I want you back after what you did. But you can at least try to communicate with your daughter. Will you do that for me, please? That one thing?" He didn't realize he was begging until now. So he really _was_ screwed, if he was begging to Rose Hathaway, of all people.

She seemed to think about it, or so he thought. Maybe she was just trying to think of a way to refuse. Why _would_ she want to see Christina, after all? She was just a daughter that had been abandoned when she was barely two years old, right? She was really nothing.

"Okay." Rose finally said and Christian didn't know if he was glad or miserable with her answer. "I'll go. But let me make this clear, Christian. I'm _not_ going because of you. I'm not even going because of Christina, as selfish as that might seem. I'm going _because of me. _Because that's what _I_ want._"_

...

If anyone had asked Christian how he really felt, he wouldn't have lied. He would have told anyone that he was feeling...well, fucked up. And he was. Literally.

He'd managed to sleep with the woman that he loved, yet they were still nowhere near being a great couple. He didn't know if they would ever be a couple that most people dreamed of.

What do most people dream of, really? Do women really want someone to protect them and love them for the rest of their life? Do men really want someone they can count on to be a lady in public and a whore in private? Or did everyone want something different? For instance, one person could want a funny man, another a kinky woman...the choices were more than anyone could possibly count.

What Christian Ozera wanted...well, at this moment, he wasn't exactly sure.

He took Rose back to the playground to discover that Christina was gone. He knew that his driver had probably sensed that something was off and had taken her off. Having no other way to go, he and Rose started walking.

At first, it definitely was more thab awkward. Neither of them really said a word. Having no contact for almost five years would do that to you.

They knew that if they started talking, they would end up fighting, like they had before. Christian knew that he would yell at her for leaving them, just like Rose knew she would yell at him for beating her. Christian would be accused of being a heartless bastard who cared of nobody but himself, and Rose would also be considered selfish, except instead of a bastard, she would have been a whore. A slut. A bitch. Cal it whatever, but currently, all those words were forming secretly in the back of his mind.

Soon, both of them knew they would have to start talking, or they would go crazy. Neither of them were used to silence, so Rose decided to start.

"How is she?" she asked quietly, a little unsure of herself and afraid of what she might hear as an answer.

Both of them knew who Rose was talking about: Christina.

"Good." Responded Christian. "I mean, as good as she can get. She's not exactly living the best of childhoods being that she has no mother, but..." Christian stopped and actually decided to look at Rose. She had tears in her eyes, but hid her face quickly by staring at the floor, her hair covering her. Did he really want to hurt her anymore? True, she didn't seem to care about him, but he cared for her, so...

"She draws." he said, out of the blue. Was it necessary to say it? No. But he knew it would be something Rose would like to know.

Indeed, Rose looked up in surprise.

"She does?" He decided to say nothing about the tear that dropped out of her left eye and fell off her cheek.

"Yeah, she does."

He saw her smile come out, that lovely smile that he just now realized that he'd missed so much. He didn't know why he told her that their daughter drew. If it wasn't for Rose's smile, then it was because a she'd been gone from Christina's life too long. She needed something, _anything_, to help her connect with her daughter. After all, when she was two, Christina had loved her mother and depended on her so much...a connection like that couldn't dissapear because of a couple years' separation. It took much longer than that to break something so strong.

Next to him, Rose sobbed once and onec only, but he heard it. His heart told him to put his arms around her, to let her put her head on his chest and to relax. But his mind...his mind told him to leave her alone to suffer, to realize that what she'd done wasn't something that could be forgiven in an instant.

"What...what does she paint?" Asked Rose and Christian sensed that she was looking at him. He couldn't look at her, though, for he knew that if he did, he would wrap his arms around her and kiss her, like his heart and body were begging him to.

"Everything." He responded awkwardly. "But...nature mostly. When she first started drawing, she drew you, or what she could remember of you. She didn't know who you were at the beginning, she just knew you from dreams and vague memories. When I told her of you, she stopped drawing you and started drawing her own things. By this, I mean nature. She found something fascinating in seasons, in the way all the trees, flowers and everything else just changed during the season. It's really beautiful."

Now he knew that she was quietly crying, but this time he couldn't help but look at her. Nope, she wasn't crying. But she looked like she would start doing so.

They didn't say much else for the rest of the walk. But when Christian was opening the door to his house, he heard a low whisper:

"She draws just like me."

He didn't know if he was supposed to hear that. But he nodded and said to himself that yes, she did do that just like Rose. Among other things.

"I'm home!" Yelled Christian, knowing wha was going to happen before it did.

"DADDY!" Was yelled from the second floor, before he heard her small feet stomp to the staircase, where she would slide down.

In a second, she came into view. She was running barefoot, wearing a purple tank top and gray shorts. Her black hair was in two pigtails, a hairstyle that was known to be Mimmy's (Christina's nanny and maid) masterpiece, mostly because Christina loved it.

Rose gasped as soon as she saw her daughter, but Christian ignored her.

"Daddy, where were you? I didn't get to drink my shake, Daddy! You just ran of for no reas..." She stopped before saying 'reason' and froze right in front of her father.

"Hey, butterfly, this is..."

"I know who this is, Daddy." she said, her voice containing none of the excitement it had once before.

Christian knew how she would react before she did, he just knew her so well. Before she could say something, he quickly cut in:

"She draws just like you, my butterfly! Seasons and nature and stuff." What else could he call it, really? "You have your talent from her, you know I've drawn pigs that look like pink foxes..." He laughed, but nobody joined in and he knew the reason.

Christina, once looking like she might have something to say, simply turned around on her heels and...stomped up the stairs without looking back. A couple seconds later, Christian heard her slam the door. Like her mother, she had slammed the door. Like her father, she gave the cold shoulder when upset instead of screaming. Both of them knew it worked better.

He turned to see Rose's reaction and wasn't surprised when he saw the tears he'd been expecting for the past half hour.

"She...she just up and left." She sobbed, her face starting to get puffy. Strangely, though, Christian felt no sympathy.

"Yup." He said, without a care in the world.

"W-why?" She was so upset that she was stuttering.

Suddenly, Christian felt disgust for her. Was she playing or what? Did she seriously expect him to believe that she had missed her daughter? Honestly!

"Because she is just like her mother: when she doesn't like something, she 'just ups and leaves', like you put." He responded coldly.


End file.
